Well, fuck a duck indeed

Who called it? We fucking called it. Except Changeling Press were the ones to pick up the gauntlet, not Ellora’s Cave, with an e-book short entitled Fuck a Duck.

That’s right, motherfuckers. Were-duck romances are here.

Here’s the thing, though: the size of duck cocks is highly dependent on the season. They can range from “as long as their own bodies” to “about as big as a grain of rice.” Guess the heroine will have to find out for herself when the weather gets colder.

Alerted to the existence of this wonder by a Slightly Tipsy Editor Who Shall Remain Nameless while gossiping shamelessly at the RWA National Conference. Hot damn, I love this conference.

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News, The Link-O-Lator

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  1. 1

    Holy shit on a stick with a big dick.

    Sums up my reaction nicely :)

    “What,” she snatched the feather in his hand and poked him in the chest, “have you done with Howard?”

    You know, I begin to suspect this might not be entirely serious.

  2. 2
    Jessica says:

    This woman, Celia Kyle, also writes erotica starring yetis. Such as “Yeti! Again?”. Yetis! That really freaked me out, and I’ve seen mellyloon. Whatever sparks your plugs I suppose.

  3. 3

    Ducks…?

    Hey, wasn’t it here that the most outrageous kind of “were” was celebrated with a title or something?! It was “were-cod”, from what I remember.

    If I could only remember my studies the way I remember stuff that happens on this site. *le grand sigh*

  4. 4
    Freezair says:

    I wrote a were-pillbug once.

    I think I just got owned, though. It wasn’t an erotic were-pillbug story.

  5. 5
    Michele says:

    Okay, now that somebody has written it, who will be brave enough to review it? Inquiring minds want to know.

  6. 6
    Sandia says:

    i can see the cover now, with howard the duck as the hero…… yowza!

  7. 7
    If says:

    The part about this article that really made me laugh is that just this morning I received a spam message with the subject, “Cute video of ducks,” and I thought, “Oh, you know, with all the ‘teenaged girls fisting farm animals!’ spam that I get, this new approach is almost charming.”  If only I’d known!

  8. 8
    Elizabeth Wadsworth says:

    Ducks…?
    Hey, wasn’t it here that the most outrageous kind of “were” was celebrated with a title or something?! It was “were-cod”, from what I remember.
    If I could only remember my studies the way I remember stuff that happens on this site. *le grand sigh*

    Does a were-cod need a codpiece?

  9. 9
    Sarah Frantz says:

    It IS listed under “Humor and Satire.”

  10. 10
    Wendy says:

    Satire aside…ummm…I do wildlife rehab.  There is a period of time in the early spring when just about every female duck we get in is there for “forced copulation” and the secondary associated wounds.
    This concept terrfies me.  Or maybe I’m just overly sensitive…

  11. 11
    LindaM54 says:

    Can they actually put that title on a book cover?

  12. 12
    Cathy in AK says:

    For their body size, barnacles have one of the longest “appendages” in the animal kingdom.  I don’t know how that would play out with the whole stuck to one spot issue.

  13. 13
    Cathy in AK says:

    Wendy, I did wildlife rehab too and recall those poor female ducks coming in all battered.  Not what most people expect from seemingly gentle waterfowl.

  14. 14
    Anne says:

    Well I looked at the excerpt and the duck’s name is HOWARD…and here I thought you were kidding!!

  15. 15
    Cat Marsters says:

    I think I just got owned, though. It wasn’t an erotic were-pillbug story.

    How about a were-bee?  Not a starring role, but it’s in an erotic (and worth reading just for the bee propositioning a man-sized fae).

  16. 16
    KimberlyD says:

    The first thing I do when I see a big naked man in my bathroom while I’m also naked, is to imagine what it would feel like to kiss him. I often ignore my fight-or-flight instincts for a nice makeout session.

  17. 17
    Lauren Dane says:

    Next are werehamsters and wereants. Those wereants are hard workers you know. I can see construction worker by day and wereant by night. It could totally be a menage – you know since they all serve the queen and stuff.

    Sigh. I feel old today. I’m off to go tell people to get off my lawn.

  18. 18
    Candy says:

    In case there’s any doubt, and as Sarah Frantz pointed out: Fuck a Duck is in the Humor and Satire category.

    Bless Celia Kyle for taking this huge and bold leap into unexplored territory.

  19. 19
    JenB says:

    Ok, I just bought it and read it, and I’m thinking it was some kind of a joke.

  20. 20
    Jessa Slade says:

    Wince.  I suppose you don’t even need the were-sea cucumber to morph.  My horizons are constantly broadened by reading here.  Thanks.  Really.

  21. 21
    Lissa says:

    I was on the EC website last night laughing like a loon over the title of a new release.  Manwich.  I kid you not – the title was Manwhich – and as you would imagine there was one prominately displayed on the cover.

    I thought that was bad – and would not read it for the title alone, but Fuck A Duck is taking things a bit too far.  I gotta ask though -is there actual duck fucking going on?  As in a woman with a duck?  Or as usual, does the title have nothing to do with the story inside.

  22. 22
    JenB says:

    Lissa – He’s a shapeshifting duck. Don’t worry, the fucking happens in human form.

  23. 23
    AgTigress says:

    Remember Leda? 
    Swans (like ducks and cassowaries) have penises too.

  24. 24
    Ms Manna says:

    Don’t worry, the fucking happens in human form.

    I am oddly disappointed.  That always seems like such a terrible cop-out in werecritter stories.

    Can they actually put that title on a book cover?

    Are there any rules about obscene language in titles?  I honestly don’t know.  Shar Rednour’s ‘Starf*cker’ was on the shelf at my local Borders for a while (albeit in the erotic section), and Amazon seemed quite happy to list ‘Mind Fuck’ for sale with no asterisks in sight.

  25. 25
    Ms Manna says:

    JenB, you said you read the book, so may I just ask one thing—was there a pecker joke in there?

  26. 26
    Flo says:

    I can’t decide if I want to read it or run screaming into the night.

    Oh the choices!

  27. 27
    rebyj says:

    ya’ll have all gone “quackers”

    bad guy ” YOUR GOOSE IS COOKED HOWARD!”

    Howard ” I’m a DUCK muthafuckah!”

  28. 28
    Wryhag says:

    For their body size, barnacles have one of the longest “appendages” in the animal kingdom.

    No wonder Barnacle Bill the Sailor called himself . . . well . . . Barnacle Bill.

    To me, wereticks are still the most horrifying-to-contemplate critters.

    By the way, Celia Kyle is a good shit.

    (I’m obviously not in paragraph-construction mode today.)

  29. 29
    amy lane says:

    Well hot damn—a pig’s winkie is shaped like a corkscrew—you know that’s next!

  30. 30
    wendyk says:

    I bought and read it as well. All I can say it, if it’s not a joke well……..I’m not sure what to say about it.

    WendyK

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