Lots of Little Links for Friday

Happy Friday! Have some links for fun and profit. If you figure out the profit thing, lemme know.

From Elizabeth: an older post from Mark Sarvas’ blog: the many many kinds of lit. I’m partial to “Clique lit” (when friends of bestselling authors write books) and “Flick lit” (novels optimized for film adaptation). But “Frick Lit” and “Tick Lit” made me snort diet Pepsi up my nose.

Elizabeth’s email was made 23% more awesome by the following true story:

Do what I do … Launch your own guerrilla marketing campaign! Take a salaciously-covered book you’ve already read to a public place—for extra thrills, go somewhere slightly inappropriate—and visibly and conspicuously read the last few pages (e.g. let your eyes get big, give a satisfied sigh.)

Then, pretend to call someone on your cell phone and improv something along the lines of the following …

For modest misses: “Sheila? Yes, you’re right! NAME OF BOOK was great. Totally not what I expected. Very romantic. Also, touching and poignant. I’m so glad I tried something new. Wait, I’ve got another call … Hello? Oh, right! Yes, I’m on my way!”

or …

For crazy batshit misses: “Sheila? Yes, you’re right! NAME OF BOOK was great. So romantic … and totally hot. The sex was awesome. I loved the part in the bathtub. No, the other part in the bathtub. Wait, someone’s calling. Oh, it’s Tristan. I’m supposed to meet him later. I’m so glad I read that book, because now I’m totally ready to go. Yeah, ha ha. Bye … Hello? Hi Tristan …”

At the end of either little speech, LEAVE THE BOOK and run out, as if in a hurry. Then hide and watch someone, furtively, pick it up. Another convert!

I HAVE DONE THIS. I kid you not.

Terri sent me a link to something I’d never seen before – the Phaze Publishing ratings, complete with icons. As Terri pointed out, the icon for “anal” is a hoot. It’s so saucy and cute – but what killd me ded was “Gore (not Al)”. Clearly, Phaze has missed the boat on Al Gore erotica. I can think of plenty of convenient truths to explore with Big Al.

But what about the icons for the more adventurous forms of erotic romance, like hemipene heroes with double the wang? Heroines with conditions that require the sex and the orgasm four times a day or else she’ll diiiiiie? Need more icons, please!

Moving on: I am such a sucker for lists. When VH1 or E! has a list of the 100 most bizarre celebrity shoes, I am transfixed and can’t change the damn channel. But this list of the 50 worst sex scenes in cinema?OMG WITH VIDEOS? Seriously? Most of these gave me a major case of the squicks. I can read the purplest of prose with many a purple turgid member aching with need, but some of these give me the gibblies. Not in a good way. Many of them are visual depictions of rape – though what they called the 50th worst I thought was rather funny, in and out of context.  Thanks for the link, though, Rebyj. It made me appreciate even more some of the most well written sex scenes I’ve read.

Thanks to the many, MANY readers who forwarded me this link, one that makes me fear for the footwear of the girl babies who hang out with Baba: Heelarious hot pink heels for babies. And to think, I used to worry that Robees were prohibitively expensive.

And finally, a small taste of what it’s like in The House of Sarah.

Sarah: Hey, I got a book in the mail today!
Hubby: Cool. What’s it about?
Sarah: Some guy who is a Lord of the Satyr.
Hubby: *really excited* Seriously?
Sarah: *confused* Yeah. He’s some Lord of Satyr. I haven’t read it yet.
Hubby: Lemme see!
Sarah: *hands book over*
Hubby: Oh! Never mind.
Sarah: What?
Hubby: I thought you said “Lord of the Seder.”
Sarah: What, like, “I’m the Lord of Passover. Give me hot sex and a cracker?”
Hubby: Sure. That’d be great!

 

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General Bitching...

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  1. 1

    I blogged about Phaze’s icons a while back. I had insomnia one night and went to their site to look for something to read. The one for anal makes me giggle as well. But the ones for the various types of group sex are like Rorschach inkblots. I honestly spent a good fifteen minutes trying to figure them out. After that I was good and sleepy and ready to go to bed. I guess I need to go back and actually buy a book.

  2. 2
    Mel-O-Drama says:

    Sarah: What, like, “I’m the Lord of Passover. Give me hot sex and a cracker?”
    Hubby: Sure. That’d be great!

    Snort.

    Sample of conversation from the Mel-O-Drama household.

    Me: She said she’d like to see me tarted up in vinyl boots and fishnets
    Hubby: Um. Did you say tarted up or ‘tarded up, cuz there is a difference.
    Me shaking head: Thanks for pointing that out.

  3. 3
    Ciara says:

    ROFL. I am totally adopting that guerrilla marketing campaign. Must convert the world to my crack. Lord I do love romance novels. :) I pity the poor fools at MSN. They are missing out.

    hot45 – you got it!

  4. 4
    SonomaLass says:

    So maybe I’m not the only one who has erotic fantasies about Al Gore?  Sigh, I am SUCH a geek—the smart ones get me every time.

  5. 5
    Tina says:

    Heelarious   ROFLMAO!

    I like the warning that the shoes are not meant for walking because the heel will break under the weight.

    Thanks, I needed a good laugh!

  6. 6
    Lyvvie says:

    I watched video #50 and had to laugh, especially with the suction and pop noise when he withdraws.

  7. 7
    Stephanie says:

    I watched vid #50, too, and, um, WHAT?

    Also watched #1 and now want to scrub it out of my brain. Yeah, I knew what was coming, but STILL.

  8. 8
    Esri Rose says:

    I dunno about the Heelarious shoes. My shins or calves or something get sore when I’m on a car trip and wear heeled boots. Something about not being able to put my feet flat. I know babies don’t flatten their feet much anyway, but they might want the stretchy option at times.

    With a matching bag and enormous set of Wilma Flintstone pearls, I can see where it would make a good Halloween costume.

  9. 9
    willaful says:

    I have had almost that exact conversation with my husband so many times.

  10. 10
    mirain says:

    SonomaLass, you should scan Mimi Smartypants’ blog at Diaryland; she also has the hots for Al Gore.

    I am in Sonoma too, btw…

  11. 11
    amy lane says:

    Okay, and thank you—among other things, I have another dirty e-book store to visit when I’m imagining we have money…

    And I’m just cracking up about the “Lord of the Seder” thing… I mean, that COULD be a great book!  Who doesn’t like crackers after sex?

  12. 12
    ev says:

    I spent the evening packing for vacation- we leave in the morning. Picking which trashy novel, with related covers, I wanted to sit by the adult pool at the chi-chi spa was harder than packing my clothes. I put a cover on the new Evanovitch only because I borrowed it from work and have no desire to ruin it.

    I wil lhave to try the ideas when I am done. On the other hand, that would mean someone would probably take one of my books. hmmm…..

  13. 13
    NavyMomSS says:

    Now we know where the Navy wife from the “Pink Shoes” pic got her shoes—Heelarious! ha! I love the little hearts on the soles like the stickers on the other shoes! (Although I wonder how safe they’d be for a baby????)

  14. 14
    Alyssa says:

    Chick Lit Awards Article

    An article from the BBC about a new award ceremony held for “Romantic Comedy” or chick lit. 

    Favorite Quote:

    “I think people look at the pastel jackets and the swirly writing on the cover and dismiss it because it’s about love. But really – what’s more important in life than love?”

  15. 15
    Flo says:

    Number 47 in hte movie one with Jack Frost had me laughing so hard I had to run to pee.  It was wrong and sooo right.

  16. 16
    snarkhunter says:

    “Monster’s Ball” would deserve a higher place on my list—but only b/c I saw that movie in the theater with my mother…and my grandmother.

    “Awkward” does not begin to cover it.

  17. 17
    rebyj says:

    I hesitated emailing the sex scene link cuz it’s movies not books but gawd I laughed so hard at some of them I figured bad sex scenes are funny in any format!

  18. 18
    GrowlyCub says:

    Well, the YouTube thought police got to the videos before me.  All YouTube videos I tried said ‘Sorry this video is no longer available’.  Oh well, sounds like I missed having to ‘wash my eyes out’!

    I came across the Phaze icons a while ago and have to say, not only is the anal one cute but I also appreciate that they try to label their offerings. 

    I hate surprises, especially the ones that come packaged as a ‘gay romance’ where at the end one of the main characters rides off into the sunset with a woman, while the other is heartbroken, and all because they are both cops and can’t come out!  Can you tell I was not amused?!!?

  19. 19
    GrowlyCub says:

    Oh, and that was an Extasy title, just in case anybody wants to know.

  20. 20

    “Lord of the Seder” is so going on the program for next year!  Crackers!  Four glasses of wine!  Sex!  It has it all.

  21. 21
    Candy says:

    Showgirls not only has the most hilarious sex scene ever, it also has one of the most WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM rape scene.

    I now feel an overwhelming urge to watch Last Tango in Paris, just to see if it’s as trainwrecky as that excerpt. I’d heard winking references to the butter, but I had no idea it was used for some what-what.

  22. 22
    Wryhag says:

    “Lord of the Seder” exchange pretty much summarizes every Jewish boyfriend I’ve ever had.  Now I just need a conversation for 1.) anal-retentive ex-Rangers with a superiority complex, 2.) Cracker jailbirds, 3.) young men who like older women but don’t know what to do with them, 4.) duplicitous pricks with sanctimonious Catholic families, 5.)  . . . uh, is there anyone I haven’t offended yet?

  23. 23
    ev says:

    There is no conversation with anal retentive Ex-Rangers with a superiority complex. There are all like that (so the term Ranger or ex-Ranger, which is shorter and easier to say, says it all). Give him some recipies for cooking snake.

    You may have missed one or two, but hey, gotta save something for another day, right?

  24. 24
    Mrblister says:

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  25. 25
    Mrblister says:

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    Or if you just want to get an emotion out COME AND JOIN ITS TOTALLY FREEEEE!!!
    How about loving someone that you know you should not! Click the link above and anonymsly spread the love and tell that person!!!
    How about coming just to express your feelings to get it out, known or just to get it off your chest!!! Without being targeted, your identity is totally hidden isn’t that awesome!!!
    You can tell anybody that you care for them right here!!!
    Come and express your deepest deepest deepest feelings!!!
    Or if you are having parent problems click above and say what you wanna say!!!
    Or if you just want to be apart of the crowd just come and join the partey!!!You might even enjoy it you never know!!!

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