Jezebel Does Old Skool Harlequin

Several readers forwarded me this snort-funny entry on old skool Harlequins from Jezebel, and I found myself nodding through much of it. Oh yes, oh yes, when they are old skool and bad, they are wonderful. Spanking? Punishing kisses? Pretend engagements? Eyebrow-raising, jaw-dropping, ‘Oh, honey’-saying comedy gold in them thar hills.

But it occurred to me – surely there are worse, right? And how sad is it that I am challenging my brain to remember some, because surely, with six thousand sheikhs and not one of them Muslim, there’s a Harlequin from back in the day that can raise eyebrows higher than that one.

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  1. Eunice says:

    Holly>
    Harlequin Mills & Boon

  2. sandra says:

    The Victoria Holt rapefest mentioned by Joanne was The Demon Lover.  The miniaturest was not only kidnapped, but drugged before being raped.  Naturally, she falls in love with him, because “he’s a man who takes what he wants”!  I don’t find that any of Holt’s novels have stood the test of time, but that one is the worst of them.  At least, I hope so.  Spamword is does68, which is about how many novels VH wrote, under various names.

  3. willaful says:

    “One girl talked about how all that rough sex sounded horrible icky when she read it and then years later, when she actually had sex….not so much.”

    But that’s the thing – the way these scenes are written is icky. I’m fine with reading a scene about a woman *enjoying* rough sex, even in the context of a “forced seduction.” Being overpowered is a popular romantic fantasy, after all. But the ones I’m talking about are just about being hurt and the women don’t actually enjoy it at all, which is just not fun to read about.

  4. xaipe says:

    Heroine (an air hostess) is framed and jailed for drug smuggling. She thinks it was her boyfriend (a pilot), so while in jail she schemes how to ruin his life in return. So when she gets out, she gets plastic surgery, coloured contacts, and dyes her hair so he won’t recognise her and makes him fall in love with her again. Then he marries her cos she won’t have sex with him otherwise…and then she kidnaps herself just before the wedding night to punish him for framing her. Panic ensues, she does things like ring him and scream down the phone….then resumes her own identity and goes home.
    He finds her, lures her off into the country and punishing-kissage/rape occurs. And then they live happily ever after BECAUSE WHY NOT?

    The Judas Kiss, by I think Sally Wentworth. I found it fascinatingly horrible because the heroine went to such lengths to achieve her revenge. I was more appalled by a Robyn Donald whose title I forget in which the hero forced the heroine to marry him because she had caused his wife and unborn child to die in a skateboarding accident (OK, the heroine (who was quite young) was on a skateboard; the wife was in a car) and therefore she had an obligation to provide him with a new baby.

  5. Thanks, Sandra!  Ah yes, “The Demon Lover.”  Nothing says “true wuv” like being drugged, raped and imprisoned.  It makes me wonder if this guy (apparently Rollo de Centreville- what a name) had bodies buried in his backyard like this episode of NCIS I watched last night.

    Xaipe, that skateboarding scenario you describe sounds really disturbing.  Do you remember the title?

    without12: Yes, even when I was 12 I could do without sociopathic “heroes” named Rollo, thx.

  6. xaipe says:

    Xaipe, that skateboarding scenario you describe sounds really disturbing.  Do you remember the title?

    I couldn’t think of it, so I googled “robyn donald” skateboard and came up with a reference on this very site with the title “The Guarded Heart”.

    http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/index.php/weblog/comments/build_sarahs_reading_list_part_deux/

  7. Thanks Xaipe!

    I wonder if I’m going to have to read it now.  That whole “skateboarding accident” replacement baby” thing sounds like it takes abuse to a whole new level…

  8. Teresa says:

    I recall all of those old school harlequins but to me there were a few that stood out with the most jerk.abusive heros.
    here they are
    Master of Falcons head By Anne Mather
    Bitter Encore
    girl for a milionaire By Roberta Lilegh
    But the one I really hated the most was A Bitter Loving also by Lillian Peake. Ther hero in that one was awful to the hoerine and when she fell in love with him I wanted to smack her or giving her a talking to.

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