Confused Bitch in the Evening Light

Snape!Can someone explain the titles of Kresley Cole’s books to me? I mean, from a marketing perspective. It seems absolutely confusing that books that are damn near unforgettable would be marketed with titles so similar to one another that I cannot keep them straight. I mean, take a look at the literal list:

Playing Easy to Get
A Hunger Like No Other
No Rest for the Wicked
Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night
Dark Needs at Night’s Edge
Dark Desires After Dusk

Come ON NOW. Those last three, how the crap am I supposed to distinguish between them?

The subject of Cole’s titles came up in a discussion with a few nefarious bloggers, and I pointed out that I can’t tell them apart if you pay me. In fact, even making that list right there meant one tab had the Cole backlist in order, one tab had the ISBN lookup, and one page had cover illustrations to try to nudge my memory.

And you know, now that I think about it, the covers don’t help me that much either. If you list them by cover art, it’s

Mr. Chest
Vampire with Blonde Chick
Red Background with Pleather Girl
Snape Gazes at Redhead’s Jugular
Nathan Kamp
Nathan Kamp

Mr. Kamp, this is not helping.

Jane from DearAuthor suggested retitling them as if they were Harlequin Presents Novels:

1 – The Billionaire General’s Marriage Revenge
2 – The Lykae’s Virgin Mistress
3 – The Russian Tycoon’s Reluctant Bride
4 – Bedded at the Beastlord’s Convenience
5 – Under the Vampire Lover’s Command
6 – The Rich Mercenary’s Secret Baby Plan

Not bad. She also suggested a more simple list that cracked me up like damn and whoa:

1 – Mysty the Vampire Slayer
2 – The Lykae’s Secret Virgin Mistress
3 – The Amazing Hie
4 – The Witch and the Beastlord
5 – The Ghost and Mr. Madman
6 – Lick My Horns

I’m more literal in my memory needs, however, so I’ve been playing with a few styles of Renaming Kresley Cole’s Books. The best names are the ones I’m trying desperately to memorize alongside the more interchangeable actual titles. It’s “Friends” style subtitling, and is utterly unimaginative.

The one with in the anthology.
The one with the Vampire and the Valkyrie
The one with the Hie
The one with the Lykae and the Super Witch
The one with the Hot ghost and the Crazy ass
The one with the Slacker Demon and the Prissy Mathematician

No marketing department is going for that, right? So here’s my last group. I think this set really rocks:

Myst Mountin’ on Top
The Vampire and His Little Lady
The Hie, The Cold, and the Warlord
Monkey Sex on a Dusty Tree
Wicked Pee on an Electric Fence
Demon Desires Swamp Girl

Come on! That’s sales gold, right there, is what that is.

Categorized:

Ranty McRant

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Amy says:

    It’s probably trying to keep them similar enough that each new one is recognisable to fans, but i do agree that they may have gone too far 0-0 They would be hard to read when lined up next to one another on a bookshelf.

  2. 2
    ev says:

    They are impossible when they are next to each other on the shelf.
    I really need to update my list of stuff I have read and my tbr pile. I just bought another copy of something already in the tbr pile- which is actually 3 tbr boxes of stuff.

    Would this qualify as an addiction??

  3. 3
    Julie Leto says:

    All I know is that I just finished The Ghost and Mr. Madman and I’m blown away.  Will be reading all the others very soon!  I don’t really care what the titles are!

  4. 4
    Eliza Evans says:

    ev, I dunno—I have an entire TBR shelf.

  5. 5
    MaryKate says:

    I adore these books, and am constantly pissed off at the titles. Why do they need to be so long?? And why, oh why, do they need to have such ridiculous covers?

    She writes such wonderful books, full of really hot sex and humor and tension and then she gets the cheesy covers and stupid titles. I’d be pissed if I were Kresley Cole.

  6. 6
    Kelly says:

    Oh, I’m so glad it’s not me. Even trying to track down the last one (after the short excerpt you guys posted here, I was hooked and had to read it) was an exercise in “waitaminute wtf”. I basically had to keep a cheat sheet with me, and once I was in the bookstore, open the book up to make sure I was getting the right one.

    Now I just have to decide which one to get next,… (which again would be easier with slightly more distinct titles. “Wait, did I decide on…”)

  7. 7
    closetcrafter says:

    “Wicked Pee on an Electric Fence”

    I love it.  Is it about an alternative Canine Society living quietly in the Suburbs on a secluded compound a la The Breeds Chronology?

    If it was my story to write, I would add my Buddha the English Bulldog as one of the main characters that cannot be bound by any damn Electric Fence. As an alpha male Bulldog, he feels not the pain of the zap of electricity, only the zap produced by a certain shapeshifting female willd turkey/mole ( I had to customize the storyline to the fauna of my actual neighborhood).  Will their opposite body parts ever be allowed to attract?  Perhaps when they join forces to oppose the pernicious garden eating groundhogs.

  8. 8
    katiebabs says:

    Your Wicked Pee on an Electric Fence had me gasping for breath because I was laughing so hard!

    How about Dark Deeds during Happy Hour?

  9. 9
    Bonnie says:

    “Lick My Horns”

    LOLOL!!!!!  Ahhh.. that’s good. 

    Thanks, I needed that.

  10. 10
    K says:

    Gennita was just playing with these titles last week, scrambling the words for fun:

    Click here

  11. 11

    I agree 100%!

    I loathe trying to take about these books! I’m like, huh, yeah, the one with the ghost in it!

    :)

  12. 12
    Shae says:

    Snape Gazes at Redhead’s Jugular

    That just killed me dead right there, lol. I got a weird look from someone in the office because I was giggling so hard. XD

  13. 13
    karmelrio says:

    “The Amazing Hie” is on my “Top Ten Books Ever Read” list.  And I read over a hundred books a year.  The H/H are memorable.  The secondary characters – memorable as well – all had plot-driven reasons for being there and weren’t obvious sequel-fodder.  And?  BEST FIRST LINE – EVAH.

  14. 14
    RStewie says:

    I hate that the titles and the covers kept me from reading this series for so long.  Teh Corm, I don’t liek it.

    But they are so great, it pissed me off even more when I liked them so much.  Although it was great that I could read the entire backlist of them in one fell swoop.

    I’m not creative enough to do the entire series, but here is my submission for Playing Easy to Get:

    Myst’s Destiny: Taming His Raging Hard-On

  15. 15
    RStewie says:

    Karmelrio:
    What was the line?  I can’t remember, and now it’s BUGGING me!

  16. 16
    karmelrio says:

    First sentence, Chapter 1:

    “For the second time in her life, Kaderin the Coldhearted hesitated to kill a vampire.” 

    It provides so much information – yet raises so many questions.  If I ever have a chance to fangirl squee/meet Kresley Cole, I will kiss her feet for this lesson in craft.

  17. 17
    rebyj says:

    I am currently reading one of these books, and for the life of me I can’t tell you the title LOL. I could go get the book and see I guess but I’m lazy. I know that Merlin is in it and Merlin is a female and the heroine is cursed as an ugly crone.  Good book but I agree, the titles could be more distinctive.

  18. 18
    Name respectfully withheld says:

    Hmm…how to stay an anonymous as possible…

    I have a strong hunch that these titles are directly from the author’s editor at Pocket.  She and the other editors there are obsessed with themes and alliteration—(Liz Carlyle’s “One Little Sin” trilogy, Sabrina Jeffries’s of “Only a Duke Will Do” fame.)

    I remember how mystified I was when I heard that Julia Quinn’s late summer release was titled “Mr. Cavendish, I Presume”.  What on earth could Avon be thinking?  I supposed now that she is so big for them, they didn’t need to bother with a cutesy-wootsie title to sell the book. 

    But the more I thought about it, the more I liked it.  There seems to me some genre-stretching with this title, and for me, that’s a victory.

  19. 19
    Lorelie says:

    I know that Merlin is in it and Merlin is a female and the heroine is cursed as an ugly crone.

    Er, are you sure?  That sounds more like Kinley MacGregor’s Lords of Avalon series.

  20. 20
    rebyj says:

    yeah well I was close. LOL
    That’ll teach me to be too lazy to go to the bedroom and pick up a book.

  21. 21
    Madd says:

    Snape Gazes at Redhead’s Jugular

    Snape is doing what to Ginny?

    Lick My Horns rules them all!

    I’m with you all on the titles. Yeah, it makes it easy to identify the books as being part of a series, but they are so similar as to blend together in my mind at times.

  22. 22
    Marcella says:

    I read (at Dear Author, maybe?) that this was a good series to explore for those fed up with Ward’s Bhlack Dhaggher Bro-mances, so I picked up the Hot Ghost and Beast one at Target.

    I honestly think I would have liked the book better if I left it at home and didn’t try to read it during my commute.  I spent most of what should have been quality reading time awkwardly juggling the book so that no one could see what I was reading because hey, its a lot of man on that cover.  A lot of Man and a title with “dark” and “needs” and “night” in it.

  23. 23
    Laura says:

    Snape Gazes at Redhead’s Jugular
    Snape is doing what to Ginny?

    Lily Evans, more like.

  24. 24
    fiveandfour says:

    I love Lick My Horns.  So apropos for Cade. 

    So glad it’s not just me.  I was commenting somewhere about just 2 of these books and had to keep Amazon up so I could flip back and forth, back and forth, to be sure I was saying the right thing about the correct book.

    (I lovedlovedloved Dark Desires After Dusk; Cade totally made it for me.  I didn’t realize until I was finished reading it how much I was hungering for a story with some fun and fantastic dialogue.  It’s a real shame I can’t remember the title of the blasted thing so I can share the love more readily.)

  25. 25
    karmelrio says:

    I love Nix.  She is just bugfuck crazy.

  26. 26
    kukulcan girl says:

    Just about everyone I’ve talked to hates the titles of Cole’s books, and loves the books themselves.  The last two titles are just beyond ridiculous, especially being released so close together.  How am I supposed to keep the Dark whatchamacallit and the Dark somethingelsethatdoesntmakesense one separate?  It’s impossible!  Lick My Horns is a way better title, and you know it would be impossible to forget it.

    Cole isn’t the only author with annoyingly similar titles, though.  Anne Stuart’s Ice books are the same way.  Although her titles aren’t ridiculous, I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep the title of one Ice book separate from another.  To add to the confusion, all the book covers for the series look exactly the same, too, so you can’t even use something like Snape Gazes at Redhead’s Jugular to jog your memory.  I walked by her latest release in the book store for three weeks before I realized it was a new book.

  27. 27
    Gail says:

    Okay, now the Vampire’s Little Lady book I just finally read—A Hunger Like No Other—Actually, the Valkyrie and the vampire are the same person, and the hero is a Lykae/sort-of-werewolf guy. He seems to be slurping neck like a vampire on the cover, but according to the book, he not only is not a vampire, he hates vampires (and thus hates the heroine, since she’s half-vampire). So actually, that title could be the Valkyrie, the vampire and the sort-of-werewolf…

    I have had AHLNO on my TBR shelf (of which there are two—plus a couple of boxes) for a Long Time and never got around to reading it till I read a review of Lick My Horns on Dear Author. So I picked up the ghost and Mr. Madman, but read the secret virgin mistress book first, since it had been sitting on my shelf so long. And I LOVED it. To pieces.

    Then I decided I needed the demon and the prissy mathematician book too—but I had a really hard time figuring out which book I already had and which book I needed. Fortunately, I’d opened the ghost book and read the opening pages so I was able to recognize the actual story, even though I couldn’t remember which book I had by the cover or the title.

    Now I will have to get the rest of the books. I am looking forward to Snape looks at the redheads neck. :) I always did like Snape/Alan Rickman

    And yes, I am going to have to get the latest Ward book just because I can’t stand not to know what everyone is talking about, and because I want to at least catch up with Jon’s story.

  28. 28
    darlynne says:

    I love Nix.  She is just bugfuck crazy.

    I’m with you, karmelrio. I read the books for the little we get of Nix and cannot remember anything distinctive about the others, their titles, covers, characters—well, OK, I really liked Kaderin—but that’s about it.

  29. 29
    Jane says:

    I like these

    Monkey Sex on a Dusty Tree
    Wicked Pee on an Electric Fence

    There’s something wonderfully evocative about the titles.  I wonder if the demons are totally immune to electric shocks.

  30. 30
    Chicklet says:

    Looking at a larger image of the cover in this entry, it does say the series title on it, but doesn’t give the number of this book in the series; is that information on the book’s spine or anywhere else on the book?

    As a reader, I really wish more publishers would put information like that on the cover (“Second book in the Meow Meow Meow Trilogy” or “Conclusion of the Love’s Eternal Perfume Series”). Surely it’s possible to do that without disturbing the graphical design of the cover? Then again, I am just a lowly reader….

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