We’ve mentioned the Romance Novel Magnetic Poetry Kit before on this website. I’ve been the proud owner of a set for the past couple of years—a friend of mine gave a set to me as a birthday present a little while ago, and I’ve put it to good use. I use the poetry to hold down photos on the fridge, with the words acting as commentary as well as anchors; below are my two favorite uses.
Number 1: The Very Tall Husband wore a magenta tutu and a pink wig one Halloween, and the picture below has always been one of my favorite photos of him. There was only one option for the photo, as far as I was concerned:
The poetry, in case you can’t read it, says:
he ripped open her tattered dress
revealing her giant bulging manhood!
the butler watched with a ready and willing member.
Number 2: This was a picture taken…holy shit, 7 years ago, when the VTH and I first started dating, and it’s probably my favorite picture of the two of us of all time, because it captures a LOT about our relationship with each other. I was standing on a chair, and I was still an inch shorter than him. Again, the choice of words was immediately obvious to me.
The poetry says:
her tongue fought off the wand of pleasure
he
savagely
petted
his
secret cavern
We’re inordinately fond of the gay jokes, yes we are. I was looking at the poetry on the fridge, and the vast majority of them have a pretty strong queer bent (as it were, heh heh heh).
Man, I really want to submit the picture above for my author photo, inclusive of the magnetic poetry. I really doubt it’d fly, though.
Candy, you’re here-again!! I am so happy!! Guess that means all my badgering had indeed worked. In any case I am so happy that you are showing that you do care about us. Anyway, yesterday I was thinking about you and came up with this poetry, I simply call it “Candyâ€. Enjoy!
Her eyes are as dark as the night.
She is as delicate and as graceful as a kite.
She writes and her words can bite.
Yet, those words fill our lives with light;
As we laugh with all our might.
We will do anything to have her even fight!
We would like for her to be always within our sight;
And grace us with her presence like angel in flight
Oh Candy, why aren’t you cursing?? Isn’t it Sarah’s job not to curse? She has a clean sense of humor which has me laughing in stitches so much that many a times I am about to die for the lack of oxygen-that’s how hard I laugh. But you, you have a sort of dirty and witty sense of humor that has us all laughing like even more like a maniac. I hope you don’t loose that, ever, because Candy, that’s why we adore you so much. 😀
Great pictures! You look so sweet together. <3
Do you have a pic online of you two posted standing side by side? You guys are so cute in that pic! 😉
Magnetic poetry is great! I put ours in the kitchen and my kids create the coolest poems. Think I’ll wait until the younger one is older to switch it to the romance version. But I want it.
LOL!!!
Hey! We have that magnetic poetry on our fridge too. I highly recommend it, tho’ we do have to mix up the words when my folks stop by…they’re not nearly as impressed by our “poetry” as we are. Mine’s holding up a photo of one uncle dressed as Nancy Kerrigan and the other uncle dressed as Jesus. They came that way to my wedding.
My sister gave me the Romance Novel set for Christmas two years ago, and it was by far my best gift. But the moment that will be forever seared into my mind was having to explain to my MOM what “turgid pleasure rod” meant!
I don’t see why it couldn’t be your author photo. It would be much better than the legions of glamor shots out there.
Of course, it probably wouldn’t be appropriate if, say, you were writing a serious thesis on cancer treatment in children, or something.
We have magnetic poetry on our fridge, too. We have the Shel Silverstein set and then Shakespeare Dirty Words set. They make for some interesting combinations, especially since most of what their holding up are Zits comics about lazy teenagers. The most recently rearranged phrase says “I can wet inside the purblind, dribbling strumpet.”
Some days it’s a little surreal.
You guys are soooo young! Freaking me out a bit.
I gotta get one of these sets. For serious! My frig needs the attention.
show58 ~ you show me your 58 first
Your husband makes for a prettier drag than mine—mine is far too hairy.
Heeeeee. I love these! Rather more entertaining than mine.
My mag-po is for cat owners. So on my fridge are phrases like “a dish of mice feet in milk,” “grey tabby life,” and, inexplicably (in that have no idea why the words were in the set, not that i have no idea where the phrases came from): “you have boxy hair” and “suffer through his kiss.”
One of these days I’m going to have to change “a dish of mice feet in milk,” though, b/c it reminds me of when the Snarkcat leaves me severed mouse heads as presents, and tends to put me off my feed.
When my ex and I first married, we lived in a vermin palace (or a really small trailer, depending on your perspective) right outside of Holloman AFB in New Mexico. We had mice, spiders, red ants—you name it. We didn’t have the mice for long, though, because his Siamese was a champion mouser—and she gave him his “spoils” from her daily kill every morning, right next to his combat boots. It was always a little mouse butt. Nothing else—just the butt. We never knew if she was giving him the best part or if she was giving him the leftovers.
daily14—no, never more than 1 or 2, at the most…
HAH! The weird thing about the Snarkcat’s adventures is, first, that she lacks front claws. Her mousing abilities came as quite a surprise to everyone. Second, that mouse head? Was complete drained of blood…and I never found either the body OR a place where anything had been killed. There was no blood anywhere. And the first time she killed and tried to eat part of a mouse, she puked it up. I still have not figured out what happened to that mouse. I can only assume her little cat stomach is just stronger…or something.
(Of course, when we lived in our own vermin palace—the place where we live now has the occasional field mouse only b/c we live in the woods—she was totally useless against the roaches. She was afraid of them.)
I have the Shakespearean Word Poetry, and it was awesome fun in college. I should find it again…