Help A Bitch Out

HaBO: It’s not a book. It’s gift wrap.

Bitchery reader Marie asks for a book that she didn’t read more than a few pages of, because it wasn’t a book. It was gift wrap of the subterfuge variety:

When I was a kid, we got my mother one of those “motherhood rings,” with birthstones from every member of our family.  But since we have a long-standing tradition of wrapping presents in a fashion that makes them utterly unidentifiable (t-shirt in a light bulb box, necklace in a rolled-up sheed of newspaper, etc), we decided to get the trashiest romance novel we could find and cut a hole in the middle of it to hide the ring in.  (My mother: not a romance reader.)

Of course, being twelve or whatever I was, the romance novel got me curious.  So I read some, maybe all of it—minus the hole in the middle of some of the pages, of course—and that’s where this request comes from. 

You see, from what little I remember, the scenario involved a white woman among Native Americans.  It also had the most horribly cliched clinch cover we could get our hands on.  And though I have utterly forgotten the plot, I do recall some woman in the tribe pointing out to the heroine at one point that she “used no bloody rushes” lately, i.e. hadn’t had her period, i.e. was pregnant.  The phrase “bloody rushes” is all that stuck in my mind.

So on the basis of an extremely common scenario, an utterly forgettable cover (I seem to remember the dominant color being blue, but I could be wrong), and a two-word phrase—can anybody identify this?  It would have been published no later than the early ‘90s…. I figure the odds of anybody knowing which book it is drop from “unlikely” to “I have a better chance of being struck by lightning while holding a winning lottery ticket.”

So many clinch covers to choose from, so little time. Anyone remember “bloody rushes” or something similar? This is a longshot so if anyone guesses this, I’ll be so impressed.

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  1. 1
    Lorelie says:

    Was the word “Savage” in the title?

    *g*

  2. 2
    DS says:

    Shirl Henke Night wind’s woman

  3. 3

    Given the set-up, there are high odds that it is everyone’s favorite plagiarist.

  4. 4
    raj says:

    Google Books says it’s Shirl Henke’s Night Wind’s Woman.  And an Amazon search reveals that the 1999 reprint was indeed mostly blue.  The cover art is signed and dated 1991, so it’s probably the original.  (Also, that cover kind of makes me cringe.)

  5. 5
    SB Sarah says:

    That cover is so amazing, I think I might weep tears of awestruck wtf.

  6. 6
    KristenMary says:

    That cover is truly frightening. So not sexxxy or romantic in any way, shape or form.

  7. 7
    Sara Neal says:

    He looks like he’s about to shove her under the water!  And she’s…well I don’t know WTF she’s doing!

  8. 8
    Gemiwing says:

    Oh man that cover is something awesome.

    What What + Waterfall = 911 call

    (friends 45, how many friends you’ll need to pull you out of the deep end of the pond after trying this stunt)

  9. 9
    wendy says:

    How timely. I had a dose of Night Wind just last night.

  10. 10
    Kaye says:

    So I lurk, but genuinely I’m curious – does anyone else feel like “night wind” is a polite euphemism for nocturnal flatulence?

    Because seriously. That’s the vibe I’m getting.

  11. 11
    Deb Kinnard says:

    That wasn’t his real tribal name. His name among the People was Farts in Buffalo Robe, and the kind shaman meditated on the ways of the Great Spirit, and got it changed.

  12. 12

    My apologies for not dropping in sooner; figures that when my HaBO number comes up, I’m not even in the country, and thus am robbed of my chance to wait breathlessly for the answer!

    DS appears to have nailed it.  I say “appears” only because, hell, I’ve already told you everything I remember of the book; there is no epiphany to be had on this end.  The back cover copy and Amazon excerpt ring no bells, beyond the obvious plot contrivance.  But the cover looks right, and the Google Books phrase (thanks to raj for that idea) sounds familiar, so I will declare this The Book!

    And yes, those who ref’d CE—I originally sent this to the Smart Bitches with a note saying I suspected it was one of her books, just based on the nature of it.  Sarah quite wisely edited that part out, so it wouldn’t create preconceptions.

    Security word: can28.  You guys can ID anything!

  13. 13
    Trina says:

    The cover seems familiar, but I like it though,
    Free Gift Box Template

  14. 14

    i like the tradition of giving the gifts. i am thinking to implement same idea for gifts to india.

  15. 15
    Janette says:

    The tradition still lives on. Christmas Gift Ideas For Mom

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