Help A Bitch Out

Coronations and Prizes!

It’s been awhile since I’ve had more than 10 minutes at my computer, alongside my sexy postage scale and my box o’prizes (which, for the record) the cats desperately try to sleep in, but I refuse to allow them to do so. They are miffed).

First, a coronation! After consulting with the Oracle of Bitchery Titles, I am pleased to confer upon Danica, who, about 18 years ago in Internet time, guessed The Seagull Book in a two-part Guess That Lonely Heart. Kneel, Danica, and arise a member of the Smart Bitch Peerage™.


Second, another coronation! To Bronwwyn, who identified all three books in an HaBO trilogy, kneel, and welcome to the Peerage™:


And, prizes! For LOLCovers, which, should you need a reason to wet your pants, well, it seems the Bitchery is happy to provide. By collective voting on- and offline, the winner was Aubrey, for the entry that literally made me snort coffee up my nose. Aubrey, please email me so I can mail you your prize – the Romance Novel Magnetic Poetry Kit.


There was a tie for second place, and the voting as a whole was so close that I also want to give mad props and big ups and random bits of shouting to Tinkerbon and Soni, whose entries were totally wheeze-worthy. I was long past laughter looking at these entries – I was well into “wheeze and gasp laughter” territory. Good for the abs, I hear.



Third place: to Jenifer, who took the worst of the worst and made them oh-so-awesome.


Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Laurie says:

    I’m SO RELIEVED someone got the seagull book. All’s right with the world.

  2. 2

    It’s a great day for the Bitchery. Congrats to the newest members of the peerage, and w00t! on the cover contest.

    I’ll never look at a Phillips head screwdriver again without snickering.

    Darlene, Duchess Twitterpants

  3. 3
    Soni says:


    When I saw the “speshul bubbles” cover, I lost it. Knew I’d been beat. To hear that I actually tied with such wheeze-inducing brilliance just makes my day.

  4. 4
    Indira says:

    As a WoW player, that Leroy Jenkins cover had me doubling over and clutching my stomach from laughing so hard.  Fantastic!

  5. 5
    Tinkerbon says:

    Mai thks, u haz dem!

    I had a lot of fun that evening, as you could tell by the number of posts. ;p Glad I could bring a snorkle to someone’s day.

    — Bonz

  6. 6
    Esri Rose says:

    Those were so good. My entries were definitely blown out of the water—with speshul bubbles, even.

    Congrats to the winners!

  7. 7
    rae says:

    The Leroy Jenkins one made me snort coffee on my keyboard! :D Great set of covers!

    become14 – I’m certainly snickering like I’m 14.

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