Carpathian Fire Queens, Next on Oprah

Heather Graham contacted me regarding the great “What What In My Camera” debate with the following statement:

The story as I know it . . . .

A bartender had a camera and insisted, as the bar was closing, that someone there take it, as he knew it belonged to our group. (Of hundreds.) Some of the kids—assorted kids, as in children of participants, models, not “camps!”—took silly pictures of armpits. Someone had discovered that close-ups of pressed pits resembled other body parts. The pictures were in bad taste, but then, again, it is a convention where we do have erotica, chocolate penises, ribbed, scented, and neon colored condoms, I don’t suppose one can condemn them too harshly for thinking that armpit pictures that looked like more sexual zones were very funny.

They were then with a member of the family who owned the camera, a member of the family who saw the pictures and laughed as well, then realized that the camera belonged to his family. Everyone thought great, we know who owns the camera. Why they didn’t erase the pictures then, I’m not sure, except that they had just showed them to the owner’s brother. They were all amused, I suppose, and thought little of it. (Once again, think of some of the stuff given away at the convention. Someone left a gift basket in my room with many items that might have been considered extremely bad taste by some.)

The camera was returned. The pictures were seen by the camera’s owner, who was upset, believing them real, so I believe her brother forgot to show them to her and tell her what they were, then erase them. The girls accused of taking the pictures were not in them at all, but since they were in other pictures on the camera, it was assumed that they were in the offensive pictures, and that the pictures weren’t armpits.  The girls, who, as I said, were not even the ones in the pictures—they were MALE armpits—were asked to apologize for being in any way associated in what was being considered bad taste, since the owner was upset. They did. From there, it should have ended. But people are touchy. Things were said. Hostility escalated. Now, I admit to being incensed that such aspersions were cast upon “The Princess of Fire,” and I am hoping very seriously to set the record straight. Equally, I want to say that I admire tremendously and have long been friends with “The Carpathian Queen,” and that I still consider myself a fan and a friend.

Hopefully, putting it all to rest . . . .

Then again, if it blew up really, really, big, maybe the Carpathian and Fire queens could get People and Time and a few other publications in on it, and get super rich and famous! Oh, wow, maybe even Oprah and Entertainment Tonight and . .

So! Queens and princesses are in the bar, words were exchanged, and then CAME AN ARMPIT. But now, it appears all is well after suitably being blown out of proportion on the internet. Well, that’s why we’re here, folks.

And speaking of why there is an internet, wanna see the best ever OMG not work safe armpit va-cleavage shot ever?

No really, it’s awful.


Thanks to the ToroHo by way of Stutterfly for the following image.



Romantic Times

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Miri says:

    I just went and looked at my armpit cleavage in the mirror, And now I have to explain whats so funny.
    Srsly? next time my sister leaves her camera at my house….

  2. 2
    DBN says:

    Thanks for the laugh!

  3. 3
    Gina says:

    You are so right when you say that was not safe for work. I’m brown in skin color but i’m sure I turned all shades of red.

  4. 4

    That makes so much more sense and I’m glad y’all printed her explanation because I was pretty horrified before. This sounds much more like the bizarre-yet-normal things young people do.

    That picture of Christina Aguilera boggles the mind, though. I’m glad I don’t write erotic romance anymore, because that might stump me.

  5. 5
    Rebecca says:

    The sad thing is, we all know what Xtina’s actual crotch looks like (while pregnant, yet) from her tasteful climbing-out-of-cars-while-going-commando habits, and it looks very similar to her armpit.  Who knew?

  6. 6
    Rinda says:


    And my sister did leave her camera at my house…

  7. 7
    rebyj says:

    the bend in your elbow makes a pretty convincing ass too.

  8. 8
    Chrissy says:

    That’s disturbing.

    Anyone remember Cartman’s butt doubling as boobs?

  9. 9
    Robin says:

    Maybe it’s the brain boggling effects of the oncoming head cold, but the part of the story that bothers me most is the idea that it’s okay to take pictures with a stranger’s camera, lol.  It *almost* outweighs my curiosity to see said pictures.

  10. 10
    Midnight Voyager says:

    Dear god, my brain…

    *liquid brain leaks out of ears*

  11. 11

    *my eyes*

    I gotta say, I’m glad to read the armpit version.  Silly, yes, but a hell of a lot more understandable.

    Although I’m very glad I don’t have sisters.  I leave my camera laying around for family things all the time.  *G* My brothers are too afraid of me to do anything like that.

  12. 12
    Liz Maverick says:

    I’m sorry, but…heh…heh-heh…hee-hee…hee-hee-hee-hee-heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  *Snort*  Oops.  ;)  Liz

  13. 13
    Liz Maverick says:

    It’s just that the Christina zoom is so hilarious.  I had no idea.  Where the hell have I been?

  14. 14

    It’s almost funnier now that it’s just an armpit.

  15. 15
    Shayne says:

    Apparently, a sense of humor is required to attend RT. I really must go sometime.

  16. 16

    I’m glad I read your post, Sarah, but I’m sorry I read the comments.

    Gack! The CA photo is hysterically funny – it needed a spew warning, though I know not to drink or eat while browsing this site – but now I’m afraid to look at my naked arms in the mirror and NO ONE is ever taking a picture of me in a sleeveless garment again. Note to self: seek out and destroy the few existing bare-shouldered shots

    VW: closet83   Oh, yeah. Get that armpit back in there!

  17. 17
    Lleeo says:

    Okay, I have to try posting this icon that I keep seeing around a LiveJournal community I go to sometimes:

    I can completely understand how those pictures were misread after seeing this icon. ;D

  18. 18
    Wryhag says:

    Whoa.  No one could have convinced me that was a human body part.  It looks like a malfunction at a sausage factory.

    “food98”—double whoa

  19. 19
    Lleeo says:

    Guys, I fail. I forgot to click the “More More More!” button for the post and didn’t realize the Christina pic had already been posted. Sorry! Feel free to delete my comment! ^^;

    But yes, it is hysterically funny. I feel so bad for how closely celebrities are scrutinized sometimes. ;D

  20. 20
    Stacia says:

    Lleeo, that was the exact thing I thought of when I started reading this story!  It’s a popular LJ icon, and I think we all know why.  There’s another one of a guy with his palms together which looks like a close-up of a man’s butt and back legs, but when it zooms out you see what it really is.

    This is why I love the internets.

  21. 21
    kate r says:

    I so love the fact that it stopped before out-of-control batshit bananas angry left scar marks. Thank you, HG.

  22. 22
    Lleeo says:

    Ha! I think I’ve seen that one! And I agree. While the internet can be abused and used for scary things, it’s also always guaranteed to bring on the lols. The ‘O rly?’ owl is one of my favourites. ;D

  23. 23
    Leah says:

    Yeah, armpits really make so much more sense than the other.  Any kid would find that funny.

  24. 24
    Robin says:

    Apparently, a sense of humor is required to attend RT.

    A boatload of booze probably helps, too. ;)

  25. 25
    Toddson says:

    OK, the armpit version is funnier than the original version. It’s not actually nice to take pictures with someone else’s camera, but if it’s digital and they can delete them, it’s essentially harmless (although explaining what they were would probably have been a good idea).

    And now, perhaps a collaborative romance, “Naked Came the Armpit”?

    (verification – feet94 – ANOTHER body part?)

  26. 26
    SonomaLass says:

    This reminds me of my youngest sister’s wedding, when my other sister’s hubby took one of the disposable cameras provided for the reception into the men’s room.  Other men in the family feared that he would photograph his privates, so they went after him to stop the madness.  Somehow the group mentality shifted, however, and my sister ended up with photos of several male relatives’ bare rear ends in her reception photos.  Yes, alcohol was definitely involved.

    I mentioned the RT story to my sister, who said, “I wish I’d gotten armpits.”

    spamword:  better69.  Oh yeah!

  27. 27
    CherylPangolin says:

    Apparently it’s not just armpits that can ressemble delicate female anatomy.  I can’t believe it is butter:

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