Breaking News: Bill Napoli Will Not Run for Re-Election

Two years ago, Smart Bitches launched a GoogleBomb against Bill Napoli, after his comments about the appropriate circumstances under which an abortion might be performed. Our goal, to make Napoli the new Santorum, is still in effect. If you google Bill Napoli, our definition still the #1 result.

We backed the campaign of Teresa Spry, who challenged him in late 2006, and though she lost her race, we did interview her about her candidacy. Our efforts raised about $800 for her campaign, our first and only foray into political fund raising.

Napoli held on to his seat, and today I received some good news in my inbox from South Dakotan Wonder Woman Lori Armstrong. It seems that Bill Napoli will not be running for re-election.

Oh, happy day! I just yelled, “YES!” so loud, my neighbors probably think I had a really mean orgasm.

Napoli says in the article:

“I knew a year ago I was not going to run again,” he said. “No one is scaring me out. No one is forcing me out. None of that forced my decision. None of that is true.”

He said he wanted his reasons on the table before “pundits and bloggers” offered their opinions on his decision.

Well, here are my opinions: “YES YES YES YES YES and let’s hear it for better days for South Dakota.”

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  1. 1
    Rebecca says:

    Sorry, I missed that – what did “Santorum” mean?

  2. 2
    rebyj says:

    well Rebecca I googled “santorum”.
    um…..ew
      Stay innocent , Curiosity is not a good thing sometimes!

    With Napoli gone whereever will we find another political asshat to pick on? they’re so rare! *sarcasm*

  3. 3
    Amanda Senior says:

    Hallelujah!!! That moron needs kicked in his proverbial political pants. He is disgusting and I hope he gets out and stays out of politics.

  4. 4
    Shelly B. says:

    Well, you might have skipped a step on the “smart” part but you are certainly bitches!

  5. 5
    saltypepper says:

    Thank all that is holy for that. 

    Now as long as Cassie Edwards doesn’t ever have another novel published you Smart Bitches can live the rest of your lives knowing you left the earth a better place than you found it.

  6. 6
    RStewie says:

    Shelly B.
    I hate it when people support politicians without knowing their views.  Or did you read his remarks and still think he is the kind of person we need running our government?

    I’m confused.

  7. 7
    SB Sarah says:

    However, I love it love it LURRRRVE it when people drop by to comment on the name of our site and tell us we are indeed “bitches.”

    It’s great for my abs to laugh that hard.

  8. 8
    DS says:

    I was a newby (more to less) when Smart bitches convinced me to open my pocketbook for a political cause—In fact, I think the SB’s have wrung more money out of me than anyone except the local political machine.

  9. 9
    oakling says:

    It sounds like you totally kicked his ass. I love that he is so obsessed about what bloggers will say now that he is practically jumping out of his skin trying to get to the media first!

  10. 10
    Total SB Fan says:

    Go Smart Bitches! I totally think you need a new tagline that describes your role as smart bitch superheroines…

    Smart Bitches: Fuckin’ your ass. Savin’ your life.

    I <3 SBs.

  11. 11
    RStewie says:

    No, SB Fan, that’s

    Fuckin’ your assHATs. Savin ur life.

  12. 12
    snarkhunter says:

    Haaaaah!! hahaha!

    Die, Bill Napoli‘s political career, die!!

  13. 13
    jessica says:

    Ok so I looked up santorum and just eww. I was not on this site whent Bill Napoli was running again, but you guys totally rock for trying to beat him-how much more of an indiot can this guy be? So really happy that after he’s not running again. I mean there can’t be anyone who’s worse than him right?

  14. 14
    Grace says:

    All I can say to dear old Bill is “Dude, don’t let the door hit you in the ass going out.”

    Good bye and good riddance.

  15. 15
    Amanda Senior says:

    Shelly B. – Wow, let’s just insult people without even having read their blog for more than five minutes! *claps*

    Who is skipping on the smart part? *cougH*

  16. 16
    SonomaLass says:

    Buh-bye, asshat!  and w00t for the good people of South Dakota—their lives are saved!!

  17. 17
    Ruth says:

    Frickin’ sweet.

    Now do something about that vile Sally Kern, will ya?

  18. 18
    michelle says:

    You know, I do think it’s hilarious that every single jackass who comes on here to insult you guys inevitably uses the “Well, you’re certainly bitches! So there!” tactic. Like, kids? It’s the name of the site. They named themselves that. You should use some different insults. Come up with your own, even. I hear ‘clitharpy’ is making a comeback.

  19. 19
    Brandi says:

    Shelly—Kindly choke on a wad of coagulated santorum. Thank you.

  20. 20
    Amanda Senior says:

    Brandi, you, lady, are one Smart Bitch.

    I wish I’d have thought of that particular comeback! *cheers*

  21. 21
    RamonaQ says:

    Oh my!
    I see you wet-panty brats are at it again.  I thought this was a book review site—- but oh, I forget, you cram ALL your beliefs down throats, as well as your poor taste in books.  I mean, if it’s not anal sex, man hating obnoxious women, redundant plots (NorANoranOra) or stories written with men so weak you could wipe the floor with them, it’s not a good book, right girls??

    Squeal and giggle!  What fun for the girls!

    Yes, and I do emphasize girls.  Women know romance.  You ditzes wouldn’t know it if it slapped you on the heiny.  So, because you have nothing better to do, you go crazy in your belief that you are right and the peons of the world must be wrong.  And get into politics. 

    Oh my,  I bet a million dollars I know who you’re voting for.  I mean, why use your brain when you can use your VaJaYJay to tell you what to do.

    Honestly, I don’t care, but you seem to believe you’re superior to those who think differently to the point you’re a cliched joke.  So sad, but then again, extremely amusing.

    And the cliche’s keep coming—-

    So you have this forum, full of babies afraid of men with peni’ that just might go into their sterling delicate vajayjay and whining about people are mean to them. 

    Oh dear.  You guys seem to dish it out so well, but it’s simply because you are viscous little beasts with a forum to lord your moronic views on the rest of the world.  Which is why this forum is such a laugh.

    So keep typing “I am a smart bitch’ over and over dears if it makes you feel important.  We know the truth and so do you—- you aren’t smart and no, you’re not bitches either.

    Just very very narrow minded little girls who think far to highly of themselves.

  22. 22
    Amanda Senior says:

    @RamonaQ – If you loathe the Smart Bitches so badly, then why, pray tell, are you even at this site?

    I find it hilarious that anyone who disagrees with these ladies feels the need to sling insults at them instead of making a plausible argument against their opinions.

    It sounds to me like you’re the one who thinks far too highly of herself because you apparently think that by posting a mean spirited, insult slinging comment, you are somehow taking them down a peg as opposed to just making a fool of yourself.

    Sounds to me like you’re the one who has your delicate panties in a wad.

  23. 23
    RamonaQ says:

    Honestly, I was simply passing through to see what this place was up to and I see nothing has changed.  Still lots of bad and very little good, which means there are really no insults that can be slung that aren’t totally deserved. 

    Too high an opinion of myself?  Please, no one on the planet thinks more highly of themselves than Candy or Sarah.  No two giggle at their own wit or turn into spiteful brats as quickly as the two of them when their tiny belief systems are challenged.    The pity given to them is the pity they give to others.

    Which is zero.

    Again, bullies hide behind forums and groups stating “everyone ‘smart’ thinks like us.  Yet oddly, most other sights seem to have a much more varied and polite discussion of a wider variety of books.

    I mean, try it!  You might be shocked to see that not everyone worships at the same altars. 

    Other forums actually are honest and people feel they can post a statement without being “Candy’d or Sarah’d” (very inside joke on my favorite board).  And people actually feel comfortable posting a wider variety of opinions on other sights than here.

    There’s a reason.  The owners color a forum and make it into images of themselves.  That’s why most choose post elsewhere knowing they’ll be treated with respect.  Other forums are for discussing books.

    Without the politics or the bigoted arrogance.

    Just pointing out the obvious.  IOW, it’s not slander if it’s the truth and the same goes for an insult.

  24. 24
    SB Sarah says:

    Spicy Soba Noodles with Chicken in Peanut Sauce (Adapted from CL)

    1 carrot, peeled
    2 cups chicken broth, divided
    1/3 cup creamy peanut butter
    1 tablespoon chopped peeled fresh ginger
    1 tablespoon soy sauce
    2 tablespoons honey
    1 1/2 teaspoons crushed red pepper
    1 garlic clove, minced
    16 ounces boneless/skinless chicken breast
    10 ounces dry soba noodles, cooked and drained
    6 tablespoons sliced green onions
    6 tablespoons chopped unsalted, dry-roasted peanuts

    Using a vegetable peeler, shave the carrots into long and thin strips.

    In a small bowl, whisk together 1/3 cup broth, peanut butter, ginger, soy sauce, honey, pepper and garlic.

    In a large saucepan, add chicken and the remaining 1 2/3 cups broth. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until the chicken is done, about 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from the heat and let sit for about 10 minutes. Drain and shred chicken when cool enough to handle.

    In a large bowl, toss together carrots, peanut sauce, chicken and cooked noodles – sprinkle with onions and peanuts to serve.

    Makes about 4 to 6 servings.

  25. 25
    sharklette says:

    Other forums actually are honest and people feel they can post a statement without being “Candy’d or Sarah’d” (very inside joke on my favorite board).  And people actually feel comfortable posting a wider variety of opinions on other sights than here.

    So. . . what’s your point, here? That your board (if you’re telling the truth) is just as cliqueish in their dislike of people, only you go further in slighting, personal in-jokes? That everyone posting here is being dishonest, trembling at our keyboards before we hit “post?”

    If it’s an in-joke there, and you still come here, my first theory is maybe people have a point when they say you’re spending too much time thinking about a site you don’t like.

    My second is the Wacky Conspiracy Theory. It goes like this: “hi, Bill!” It’s far-fetched, but it’s still funny.

    PS-Thanks for the recipe, Sarah! Anything vegetarian?

  26. 26
    Amanda Senior says:

    Sharklette – I’m with you.

    However, what I find really astounding is that neither Candy nor Sarah was very rude in this post. They weren’t bashing an author or being rude to anyone stating for stating a differing opinion on Napoli. All they did was announce the news that a politician that they despise will not be running for re-election.

    The last time I checked, a blog was a place to air your personal opinion, so why in the world is someone condemning them for having their own opinions about a twisted politician who received heavy criticism in the mainstream media and beyond for his comments?

    Personally, it sounds to me like someone has a grudge and is using this as an excuse to run her mouth.

    Perhaps a disgruntled author?

    Unless Romona truly believes that abortion should only be allowed if someone is “hella raped” and wants to be laid out as Napoli’s virgin sacrifice.

  27. 27
    Candy says:

    “…viscous little beasts…”

    Well, yes. I certainly hope we’re viscous. Do you know the issues we’d have with, say, cell integrity or osmotic pressure if protoplasm or blood had exactly the same viscosity as water?

    By the way, hey, anyone want a recipe for Indian-style lamb that I made up on the spot last night and that’s rockin’ my socks in a major, major way? You could probably adapt it for a vegetarian or vegan diet by using hearty vegetables like potatoes, carrots, cauliflower, etc.

    In other news: this Edit plug-in is TOTALLY FUCKING SWEET.

  28. 28
    Candy says:

    You know, I got to thinking about RamonaQ’s comments—specifically, her insults regarding our femininity and the masculinity of the men we’re attracted to.

    Insults of this variety have always puzzled me, because they seem so singularly uneffective. “You’re not a real woman! You do unwomanly things! And you like GIRLY MEN.”

    My reply is generally “Depends what your definition of ‘woman’ entails; yes, by some standards; and by god, yes I do. I like girly girls, too. And boyish girls. Manly men don’t do much for me, but that’s not at all a reflection of their attractiveness in general, just a statement of their attractiveness to me.”

    I’m not offended because they don’t manage to hit the core of the bits of my self-identity that are insecure and vulnerable to attack. But they always make me curious, because a lot of people are incredibly invested in their traditional gender roles, and I want to know why—especially people who don’t have a rigid religious underpinning that mandates, say, submission to the husband. My gender identity is something I’ve thought a lot about, and I’m always up for hearing about other people’s gender identities.

    So RamonaQ, I actually want to engage in a dialogue with you—by the way, I apologize for the “viscous beast” crack, but it appealed too much to the absurdist and the biology pedant in me to let slide. If you could, could you answer for me the following questions:

    1. Why do you make the crack that we (Sarah, me, our regular readers and commenters) are the sorts to fear penetration, especially of our vaginas?

    2. I get a very strong sense that you associate male weakness with inability to penetrate—which has strong overtones of effeminacy (though this may be me inserting the general cultural discourse into your comment, and not something you actually mean to say). Can you explain some of the underlying assumptions there?

    I might have more questions, depending on what your replies are (if you choose to reply), but I’m always interested in hearing analyses of other people’s gender constructions, especially from people who think in radically different ways than I do.

    Other people who want to jump in, feel free to do so. It’s a Gender Deconstructionist Party, and everybody’s invited.

  29. 29
    sharklette says:

    What I found interesting was actually the part where she said ‘I bet you vote with your vajayjay.’ While we’re deconstructing, isn’t that slang term from Oprah? It might have been ironic the first time, but she used it twice.

    And really, it could have been for either candidate—she bets us a million dollars, but she doesn’t actually specify which one she thinks it is. Was she saying we’re sheep who’d only vote for another woman, or that we’re mindlessly swept away by Obama’s manliness? (I can see why she didn’t go on, in that case, since Obama is quite manly and it undermines her other slights.) Her bets are covered, since if that was what she was insinuating, she could claim she was talking to McCain.

    Lameness of the safest ever million-dollar bet aside, I’m having flashbacks to that woman who wrote an article calling all women dumb. Wasn’t her position that our hormones ruled our politics?

    . . . great, now I have another theory as to Ramona’s real identity.

    Recipes are always fun. :9 Share!

  30. 30
    Amanda Senior says:

    Sharklette—- my theory is that she’s Ann Coulter and she’s pissed off that somebody other than conservative, submissive, God fearing stay-at-home-moms who don’t vote read Romance novels.

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