In honor of our third birthday, Sarah looked up what the typical third anniversary gift is…and it turns out it’s *drumroll* LEATHER.
And you know what that means for our cover snark.
Oh yes. BDSM romance covers. Cover your eyes and head for the hills. Or, y’know, don’t, because you’re a masochistic fool and have a strong hankering for 3-D man-titty.
Sarah: Two questions: 1. Does the Price of passage come with frequent flyer miles? 2. Can this really be the first Poser mega-mullet I’ve seen?
Candy: Poor Legolas. Not only has he been reduced to shopping for clothing at Hot Topic, he’s taken to picking up the teenyboppers who shop there, too. What would Gimli say if he could see you today? Tsk.
Candy: The title of the book makes me think of Lola from “Copacabana.” The face and build on the female model make me think of Lola from that song by The Kinks. “Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair, and a dress cut up to there…And when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine, oh my Lola.”
Sarah: “Regalos” means “gifts.” This is not a gift. And judging by the glum expression on helmet-hair’s face, he doesn’t think so either.
Sarah: The Dark One, he will be taking The Long One, and resting it in the neverland of The Incredibly Tacky Leopard-Print One. Then he will have The Big One, and I will need The Cold One because a one that is not cold is scarcely a one at all.
Candy: The title indicates some sort of angsty paranormal romance. The clothing indicates some sort of Conan the Barbarian rip-off. The expressions on their faces indicate some sort of screwball, “I Love Lucy”-esque caper. The sword indicates some sort of penile inadequacy. The overbuilt muscles indicate incipient roid-rage. Dear readers, what the hell am I supposed to make of the story based on the cover?