Reason #467 Why I Love Australia

Have I mentioned how much I love Australia, and New Zealand? An entire country filled with happy, gregarious, merry people? I’ve worked with many an Australian and a Kiwi at summer camps in the past 10 years, and without a fault they are some awesome people. I love Ozzies and Kiwis like damn. I can’t wait to haul my poor children across the earth to go see both countries first hand.

And now, even more reason to love Australia (And NZ, though I don’t think NZ is participating in this show):

Eggs has alerted me to something So Unspeakably Awesome, I might have to hop a plane to Australia RIGHT NOW. That’s totally doable for a weekend, right? Right. Sure. Other side of the planet and all.

In Sydney, Eggs tells me, they have the Royal Easter Show, “which is basically a massive fun-fair/agricultural competition extravaganza.  The highlight of the show for the kiddies are the Showbags, which are filled with all kinds of themed crap and candy.”

WORD. Sounds like a state fair only 34% more awesome (except for the Minnesota State Fair which, with butter head girls, is the best damn state fair ever in the history of the world and I’m not exaggerating).  I don’t even celebrate Easter and I’m down with themed crap and candy in Showbags.

Especially THIS Showbag: Don’t Hassel The Hoff – containing not one, not two, but ELEVEN items of Hoff swag. Henceforth let it be known that the Hoff, he goes all the way up to eleven.

And would you check out the list of items?! Headband and Wristband set? Bling Necklace? LOVE DICE?! Eggs is particularly enamoured of the Hoff Air Freshener: “Can you go to the grave not knowing what Hoff Air smells like??”

I don’t think I can. Next stop: Continental Airlines website to see how much it costs to fly to Australia in time for the Hofftastic Easter Show. Advance Australia Fair, indeed. They just advanced to the top of my list of Awesome.

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  1. 1
    Alley says:

    Oh hell, they’ve got duck fashion shows, too.  Well, at least I now know what time of year I should plan my trip to Sydney.

  2. 2
    MaryKate says:

    Well, he IS an international phenomenon.

    But do we really need to know what he smells like? Hamburgers, probably.

  3. 3
    Chicklet says:

    (except for the Minnesota State Fair which, with butter head girls, is the best damn state fair ever in the history of the world and I’m not exaggerating).

    DAMN SKIPPY! And I’m not saying that just because I walked around the Fairgrounds last August eating roasted corn on the cob that was sweeter than candy. And how many state fairs book The Flaming Lips and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Musical Ride in successive years? *g*

  4. 4
    Randi says:

    WORD to the MN State Fair. Where else can you get a fried twinkie on a stick? See dancing dogs? Enjoy a Beergarita? Oh, oh, how doth I love the MN State Fair. I don’t love the butter busts though-they are all sorts of creepy and it took all of 4 hours to find the damn things. Poo. Poo on the butter busts! On the flip side? Got to hear Journey sound check while leisurly riding in the ski-lift thingie. Ahhhhh, Journey.

  5. 5
    Nina says:

    What has the Hoff done in recent times, besides appear on t-shirts and youtube lately anyhow?  Is he promoting something?

  6. 6

    OMG!  You are so right about the MN State Fair.  I’m a native Minnesotan and it’s the biggest thing (after my family and Minnehaha creek) that I miss in that state.  I may have to drag my sweetie there someday very soon.

    AND I get to brag, now!  My mother took the blue ribbon for 2 different kinds of pickles, plus a 3rd, 4th & 5th places for other pickles and jelly at the Fair this last year.

    I miss the mini donuts.

  7. 7
    MT says:

    What’s that you ask?  Why of COURSE there’s a High School Musical showbag!

    I am personally a fan of The Original Idiot Showbag.  Sigh… I want to go back to Sydney.  Perhaps I can sell a kidney to obtain plane fare.

  8. 8
    KristenMary says:

    Here in So Cal they have been playing radio commericals from the Austrailian tourist board. They basically have been saying that it takes just as long to drive from Van Nuys to the OC on the 405 as it would to fly to Sydney if I just caught the 11:30 pm flight from LAX. I gotta say the ads are working and I really want to go. And now a Hoff bag. Sigh.

  9. 9
    Elyssa says:

    Why can’t I live in Australia or New Zeland?  Seriously, they have all the cool things.

  10. 10
    Amy T says:

    OMG, the Minnesota State Fair!

    I went to grad school at the U of MN and never lived more than a short bus ride from the fairgrounds. Chicklet, you forgot to mention that the roasted corn is dipped in VATS of melted butter…oh, I’m hungry now. And no one mentioned the fried cheese curds! Or Senator Boschwitz’s flavored milk stand, located conveniently next to a brownie stand!

    Creepy is indeed the word for the butter busts, though.

    spinsterwitch, your mention of Minnehaha creek reminds me of the guided bus tour I took of the Twin Cities when my parents came to visit. While Minnehaha falls is unarguably beautiful, the guide proudly informed us that it was “the biggest waterfall in a municipal park in the world” which, not so much. Here in Spokane, the falls that go through our city park downtown generate hydroelectric power for a large part of our region. (This guy also told us that the Grain Belt Beer billboard on Hennepin Ave. was the “largest neon sign in the world”—I was thinking, New York? Tokyo? LAS VEGAS?)

    But oh, the fair. No fair has ever compared.

  11. 11
    Chrocs says:

    Couldn’t they make item 10 louder?

  12. 12
  13. 13
    Josie says:

    Sarah, this Aussie promises to get you a can of the Hoff air freshner if I get to the Easter Show this year…

    The love dice however are all mine!!

  14. 14
    Anne Douglas says:

    NZ has their own Royal Easter Show
    http://www.royaleastershow.co.nz/
    Don’t think I saw goody bags though, and I doubt they’d be hofftastic ones :(

    We just booked our next visit home, but we arrive Jun2 (yes all the cheap flights are during winter so I haven’t seen a warm NZ for a few years now lol!) I’m feeling kinda homesick lately so I’m really jonesing for this trip. Anyone want me to send them a postcard or a jar of vegemite/marmite when I get there?

  15. 15
    Anne Douglas says:

    Forgot to say – if anyone is travelling south, the big airfare deals are usually on Air New Zealand and Qantas (ie the 948rtn fare LAX to AKL we managed to get in on – it was so much nicer to pay 2800 total for our intl leg fares, instead of 2000 each!)

  16. 16
    Teddypig says:

    I am sorry ladies but… NO NO NO!

    Let’s get down to brass tacks here.

    THIS IS WHY YOU LOVE AUSSIE MEN>>>
    http://www.aussiebum.com/shopfront.php

  17. 17
    Bron says:

    Sarah, our local show is on today and tomorrow. It’s nowhere near the size of the Royal Easter Show, but if by chance there are Hofftastic showbags, I will get you one :-)

    Hoffing aside, however, let us not miss an opportunity here. If you don’t make it to Sydney for the Show, then you and Candy should aim for the RWAustralia conference in August in Melbourne. Aside from the pleasures of the conference, the luxury hotel, the Melbourne shopping, (not to mention the book launch of my book) you could work on building your media profile and brand in Australia prior to your book’s release. If we create a big enough buzz – and I’m sure the bitchery in Australia can contribute! – then you could become famous enough to have your OWN Smart Bitches Showbags at the Royal Easter Show in years to come ;-)

    Now, to start thinking about what would be in a Smart Bitches showbag….

  18. 18
    Philippa says:

    Bron beat me to it, I was going to recommend the RWA conference.  It was in Sydney last year and I had a fab time as a veritable newbie :)

    I tend to avoid the Easter Show, as there are far too many badly behaved kids (not to mention their worse behaved parents) for my liking.  But my bf has never been, so this might be the year we brave the crowds.  I’ll look into a Hoff showbag for you if I get there

  19. 19
    Cass says:

    Each state in Oz have their own Royal Show!  Here in South Australia, it’s the last week of August, which always conflicts with our Aussie Rules Football (AFL) finals season…It’s always a toss up whether to go to the Show or the footy.  But then, the Show does go for over a week, so there’s plenty of time for shenanigans.
    I always love seeing the baked goods display, which has the winners proudly displayed with their blue, red and green ribbons.  Ah, fun times at the Show!

  20. 20
    Josie says:

    Bron said: Now, to start thinking about what would be in a Smart Bitches showbag….

    A vulva puppet? A Hasslehoff paper plane? A Hello Kitty vibrator? A WWND poster?

    Verification: youre31 – not yet I’m not dammit.

  21. 21
    Redhairedgirl says:

    (except for the Minnesota State Fair which, with butter head girls, is the best damn state fair ever in the history of the world and I’m not exaggerating)

    I think I love you. 

    Cheese curds.  Mini donuts.  ALL THE MILK YOU CAN DRINK.  COOKIES BY THE BUCKET.

    And the world’s best french fries. 

    THIS is my summer vacation this year.  HELLS YEAH.

  22. 22
    TracyS says:

    My hubby is a native Minnesotan~we lived there for the first 2 years of our marriage. I remember him saying, “we have to go to the fair. It is the best State Fair”  I’m thinking “whatever,that’s just b/c you are from MN. I like the WI State Fair, it’s probably the same.”  Ummmm nope! You can buy just about anything on a stick! LOLOLOLOLOL

  23. 23
    TracyS says:

    Let me qualify that last statement, you can buy just about ANY FOOD ITEM on a stick! :o)

  24. 24
    Brianna says:

    I see that someone has already offered, but I too can get you a Hoff showbag, if you so desire. I haven’t been to the Easter show in years, but I have many fond memories from when I was a child. A must see is the ducklings and other baby animals, the fruit and veg pavilion (awesome displays), and the cool crafts/toys/cakes/anything-you-can-think-of that have been hand made and up for judging. It really makes this city dweller want to rusticate for a bit, and start bottling preserves!

  25. 25
    Qadesh says:

    Please allow me to join in the lovefest for the Minnesota State Fair.  After we relocated, The Hub who grew up in Minneosta, would regale me with how wonderful it was.  I, being someone with a cynical bent, wasn’t convinced and I was less than enthusiastic about attending the first time.  Oh, what a silly twit I was!  It is located in a fairgrounds that is untouched by time and is populated with quaint buildings that are reminiscent of another era.  The Crafts building usually holds some amazing works of art, I was exceedingly fond of the sock puppet dress that had been made by someone with a twisted sense of humor a few years back.  (The faces and mouths were strategically placed on the bodice to cover boobage.)  The shopping is great and varied, but the food.  Ah, the food.  You make sure you go with an empty stomach so you can browse your way through all the food stands.  You can eat anything and everything you can imagine. Most of it is horrible for you but oohh so tasty.  Fried cheese curds, mini-cinnamon rolls, and the best damn turkey sandwiches on the planet (in a stand right next to the all you can drink milk stand), and The Hub’s favorite Hot Dish-on-a-stick, the food has to be experienced to be believed.  Ahhh, me luurrvvss the Great Minnesota Get-Together, as it is commonly referred to up here.  And might I add a sunny, warm August day is sounding good about now considering it was 16 degrees here today, and we have had a long cold winter which shows no signs of morphing into spring anytime soon. 

    Chicklit, I’d offer to send you some mini-donuts next August but they really do need to be eaten hot.

  26. 26
    talpianna says:

    Now, to start thinking about what would be in a Smart Bitches showbag….

    A sleeping black-footed ferret kit

    A book cover featuring bodacious man-titty

    Assorted photographs of the bedrooms of romance novelists

    The head of Fabio

  27. 27

    I won’t offer to get you a Hoff bag cause you’re already getting a couple of those, but I will get you a Tim Tam bag if you wish. To really appreciate what the Land Down Under is all about you need to experience Tim Tams. Lots of Tim Tams.

  28. 28
    Trix says:

    Hey, we have Easter Shows in NZ. But no Hoff.

    There’s also a HUGE dog show, and cool things like woodchopping to watch. And horses and crafts and sideshows.

  29. 29
    nitenurse says:

    Why hasn’t some marketing whizz kid come up with Show Bags for North American Fairs.

    The Stampede Bag

    The CNE Bag

    The Puyllap.

    I’m a sucker for stuff like that.  Forget the fair, let me get the bags.

  30. 30
    talpianna says:

    Forget the Tim Tams.  Head straight for the Violet Crumble!

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