If you have a few extra dollars and desire multiple orgasms, your own sexual incubus, or Colin Firth, read on.
Thanks to Janet Mullany, I have word of a most excellent auction discovered by author Esri Rose. Take a look at the auction page before it disappears, but if it’s already gone, here’s an excerpt from the exclamation-point-laden description:
It has been Invoked to be Possessed and Inhabited by an Ever Powerful, Seductive and Enchanting Incubus Spirit Nymph !
It’s rich and fire like Bright Red Ruby Gemstone has accepted The Spirit of ” Ricardo ” into it’s Gorgeous facets !
And now ” Ricardo ” eagerly awaits to please and Sexually Satisfy his New Owner ! It can be used by either a man or a woman, as it can be worn or carried in your pocket !
” Ricardo ” is eager to please whomever his new owner is, whether they are male or female ! He will Sexually Please a man Or a woman, whether his new owner is Straight or Gay or Bisexual ! His new owners Sexuality simply will allow him to know what he can do for them Sexually, and IF there are any Limits !
He will Instantly know these Limits, but being the Sexual Nymph he is, will take Full Advantage of whatever he can Sexually do for his new owner, but will Not Exceed whatever Limits there are ! He is simply out to Sexually please whomever his New Owner is !
This ring “Ricardo” Inhabits is currently a size 7.5 ! ” Ricardo ” is a tall, dark, and handsome as he is Latin, so one could assume his Love Making skills are Very Powerful, being a Latin Lover ! He is also a Very Masculine and Extremely Sexual Nymph Incubus Spirit, who manifests himself in human form and feasts on your sexual desires and fantasies !
The images of “Ricardo” look very familiar – have I seen them on an erotica novel? My memory is tickling me but not giving me the answer. Perhaps I need to ask Ricardo, the Very Powerful, Very Masculine and Extremely Sexual and very mantittied Nymph Incubus Spirit.
A similar ring is for sale on eBay advertised as a “Haunted Multi Orgasm and Sexual Sensitivity Ring.” Sherry’s Enchantments sells a number of haunted and bewitched jewelry. You know, should you be in the market for such a purchase.
EDITED TO ADD: there’s also a “MALE NYMPH INCUBUS SPIRIT Ring ~ Genie Djinn” ring for sale from Sherry’s Enchantments. The descriptions of how the haunted spirit… oh my sweet fancy Moses. Get a load of this:
“I was exuding sexuality in a way I had never felt before!!! Although not conscious, I was aware of everything that happening…. As the excitement built he finally inserted his large member. I exploded instantly.”
Was it his eBay member?
But if incubi and multiple-orgasm jewelry aren’t up your alley (hur hur) perhaps you’d be interested in Colin Firth?
Carrie Lofty forwarded me a most excellent auction: 2 tickets to the movie premiere of Mamma Mia in London, plus a meet and greet with Colin Firth. Proceeds benefit Oxfam International (Charity Navigator rating for Oxfam USA: Four Stars) but by far the best part is the free part: a video from Colin Firth embedded in the auction entry which describes the item for bid and which contains the following line, my new Quote of the Day:
“If you are the kind of person that always wanted to see middle aged men in tight spandex trying to sing, then this is the film for you…”
If it’s Colin Firth in tight spandex singing? I’m down. Current high bid: $7000.00US.
I like the fine print:
Seller is not responsible for any activities which may or may not occur as a result of the purchase of this item. […] Finally, avoid negativity of any kind as it can also block spells & blessings.
Uh-huh. Very reassuring.
(Also, wtf is with In Loving Memory Of My Sweet Niece “Nadia”? Who makes a memorial for their niece out of an eBay page hawking a succubus/nymph in a ring? o.0)
“‘Ricardo’” is a tall, dark, and handsome as he is Latin, so one could assume his Love Making skills are Very Powerful, being a Latin Lover.”
What, what, what?
This sentence needs to be buried under heavy things so as not to frighten future generations.
Geez… I’d be pretty ticked off if I was a highly powerful incubus sexpot stuck in a ring that went for a piddly $11…
Spam word: per56 – orgasms per hour?
An incubus is also a nymph?
**giggles**
I am SO using that in a future book. The demons’ll get a kick out of that. When they’re not busy puking up a lung out of laughing so hard, that is…
ASTONISHINGLY, Sherry of Sherry’s Enchantments has a “Colin” spirit she can put in a ring for me. I think she gets to tweak his form, so I’ve given her some suggestions, and will be having a drawing for the resulting item on my website, EsriRose.com. I’m asking that Sherry post the ring as a Buy It Now item so I still get the fabulous sale page.
The “Genie” model was wearing tighty-whities—doesn’t that seem, well, anachronistic? I expect genies to be shrouded in a vague colored mist or something, not CK briefs.
I’ve got a shocking epiphany for the winner of “Ricardo”: it’s not the Incubus Spirit Nymph in the Ring that’s going to do the job; it’s the finger to which the ring is attached.
I’m just sayin’ …