Several different readers e-mailed to tell us about this: Amazon.com unveiled a list of the 20 Most Romantic Cities in the United States. Did they calculate the rankings based on marriage rates vs. divorce rates, popularity as honeymoon destinations, historical reputations, the amount the population invested in sex toys? No, the algorithm they used was even more comprehensive and complicated:
They tallied up how many romance novels, relationship books and sex manuals they’d shipped out to various cities and divided it by the total population.
Because books with titles like “If It’s Tuesday, There Must Be Dildoes,” “Tantric Sex for Dummies” and “The Ultimate Man’s Guide to Internet Dating” are the epitome of what “romantic” means to us as a culture.
Sarah: The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I have at last found my dream job. I am for all intents and purposes a complete and utter epic fail at math. I can’t remember numbers much less hold them in my mind for 2 seconds so that I can do sexy things to them like divide or multiply or even add. I work in a city that’s designated with about 90% numerical addresses and do I remember a single one? Forget it. I have to write the address down and keep LOOKING at the paper.
My complete lack of mathlete-skillz notwithstanding, I totally think I should work in the Amazon statistics department. In fact, my complete lack of mathleticism DEMANDS That I work there. From the formula to determine sales rank to the derived “most romantic” list based on some fucked up sales data – it’s like Mecca. I Belong There.
Where do I sign up? Can you help, being on the west coast and all?
Candy: Dude, I can help you—not because I’m on the West Coast, but because I’m Chinese, and it’s common knowledge that we’re born knowing how to integrate and how to count in hex. (Fun fact: In a few days, I’ll be 1e years old!)
A city is declared “most romantic” because Amazon has shipped the most romances, sex guides and relationship self-help books there. Let me tell you, there’s nothing sexier or more romantic than a man giving me a copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Sets my pants on fi-yahhhhh.
It’s also nice to see that the folks at DCist are still in fine form, what with the lovely assumptions they’re making about romance novel readers. Pass me the smelling salts, I declare I’m about to faint from what a dainty, desperate, horny little belle I am. Because it’s not like I ever get laid. Or have friends. Or even leave my lonely little cave. At all. Ever.
Hey, at least the cave is bedecked in red and pink satin. Fuckers.
Also, please peruse my fine collection of puffypaint sweatshirts. I’m especially proud of my “Poodles to Pamper” line.
I will admit that I was intrigued by certain trends in the data, however. The cities, by and large, seemed to be part of large, metropolitan areas, and most of them are the sites for very prestigious universities (Cambridge, Ann Arbor, Berkeley, D.C., Seattle, San Francisco, Austin). If I had to make a guess—ones not based on tired cliches, mystifying assertions (most romantic? WTF?) or horrified hand-flapping at the idea of living in a city crawling with romance readers (we’re like herpes! Once you get one, you never get rid of us! And we pop up at the most inconvenient moments IN YOUR CROTCH)—I think this is what the trends show:
1. These cities seem to have larger-than-normal populations of university graduates. And those fuckers, they read. A lot. Of EVERYTHING. I’m willing to bet that these cities would rank pretty high for literary fiction, SF/F and mystery consumption, too.
2. Large middle-class/white collar population = more leisure time for reading.
3. Somebody in the comments on DCist pointed out that the populations for these cities seem to have more women than men, which would not only make sense in terms of a bigger romance readership, but also in terms of book consumption, since women tend to read more than men across the board.
Sarah: Not to mention that many of those cities are also near larger metro areas where people work but don’t live, and thus ride mass transit or trains and whatnot. I’m sure if you track the sales of similar “big leisure” reads, such as mysteries and the like, they sell as well.
Heh – a new fun game! Draw other completely hyperbolic conclusions from the data:
Those cities probably also have a higher percentage of houses with heart-shaped beds.
Puffy paint sweatshirts just CANNOT stay on the SHELVES at even the BEST stores.
Two words: Fabio Appearance! Three more words: at the mall!
Feather boas in Alexandria: Sold Out.
Bottom line: I love anything having to do with Amazon interpreting data. It’s just the most creative use of math in the history of the world. *le heartfelt sigh*
I still am waiting for the rest of your sweeping generalizations. I’ll wait over here in my pink satin tufted settee, next to my bonbons. And hot chocolate. With my perfectly groomed white Persian cat whose poop arrives gift-wrapped in crushed pineapple and rose petals.
Candy: Sorry, no time for sweeping generalizations. I’m too busy masturbating while reading The Rules and imagining Fabio amortizing his hip thrusts against my womanly loins as he crushes me against the hardwood floor.
ladies, your way with words makes me smile. seriously…i snorted & spewed water out my nose on this one.
I like y’all’s take on the Amazon “statistics.” It’s refreshing and wonderful to read anything that has been through your bullshitometer.
Thank you.
(Teehee; however61)
Helloo, ladies! Before I put back on my marabou mules and float back into my pink silk hung boudoir, I have another theory about those stats. Notice the high preponderance of university towns like Cambridge, Berkeley and Irvine? During most of my grad years in Cambridge, there was nary a single romance section in any bookstore in Harvard Square (the Coop belatedly added one a couple of years ago—in the basement). If I wanted a romance novel, I had to sling on my pink feather boa and head for the T into Boston, or… order from Amazon. I noticed the same trend when I was at school in New Haven before that. For some reason, bookstores near universities make the bizarre assumption that Educated People (or People in the Process of Being Educated) don’t read romance.
Damn! Tripped over my pink poodle again! Down, Fabio, down. Good boy.
By Jove, Lauren, I think you’ve got it.
I know that’s why I order most of my romances from Amazon—Powell’s is awesome, and if I ever need a Philip K. Dick novel, they have just about everything that man published in book form, but its romance section is pretty pathetic.
Hah! You two crack me up!!
I am amazed and confused over Amazon’s use of math/data and how they gathered it…all I can say is WTF! Oy! and then wwhhhaaatt evvvaa.
With all the romance I order from Amazon they would have to say Oregon is the meca for over sexed women or undersexed due to all the reading!
Great post! Peace.
Irvine, Calif!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh honey that ain’t romance that’s desperation and lack of night life.
It happens in small university towns also. Here in Gainesville, when I want a good romance section I head to Target, Books-A-Million or Borders. Heaven forbid that the independents get tainted by Harlequin’s secret sheiks!
However, in their defense, the owner of one of our best independents (Goerings Books) acknowledged that he had limited space and couldn’t discount the new releases like the big box vendors could. Therefore, he chose to carry more small press offerings and mid-list books not readily available at the big stores, and I can’t fault him for that.
And he does carry local authors, including Darlene Marshall, so he’s a hero to me.[g]
Hey, Candy, Harvard Bookstore was just the same way. It has an amazing used books section and I love it to bits, but there are no romance novels to be had. That’s one reason I started reading chick lit—out of sheer desperation. Have you noticed that stores that won’t stock romance do stock chick lit? I think it’s because they’re trade paperback, and therefore construed as more respectable (“social commentary about our modern age,” blah blah blah).
My Amazon purchases have gone waaaaay down since moving back to New York. (For anyone else in Manhattan, the Borders on 57th has a great romance section).
You all are soooo jealous. I’m near three of the superdeeeduper romance cities in the U.S. and believe me, if I wasn’t, I’d probably be writing tech books instead of erotic romance. But we are awash in romance here. You have no idea how sexy those bureaucrats in D.C. and nearby areas are.
imagining Fabio amortizing his hip thrusts against my womanly loins
I can’t stop laughing at this… although it could be the effect of too much pink champagne with my breakfast.
Does anyone have an ARC of “Tantric Sex for Dummies†they would be willing to lend out???
It would actually make sense, I think, to determine the “most romantic city” by counting up the cities in which romance novels are SET. I think the winners would probably be San Francisco, Venice, and Paris, not necessarily in that order. I’d go for London and Edinburgh, myself.
I used to live in Scottsdale, and the newest romantic suspense I’ve read is partly set there (Elizabeth Lowell’s Innocent as Sin. I don’t think Scottsdale is romantic in itself, but there are a number of very plush resorts there.
Plus, the Barrett-Jackson people are auctioning off Robosaurus. Can’t get any more romantic than that!
You want pink? I‘ll give you pink! Kiss me, my fool!
http://www.rsc.org/images/star-nosed-mole-250_tcm18-73560.jpg
(This is me, in my star-nosed mole incarnation, breathing under water.)
woman25—man 0
What are you guys even talking about?? I come from city number 5, and let me tell you, we deserve the title. You want to know how much we deserve it? We have a giant, penis-shaped watertower.
You don’t believe me? I’m not kidding. Technically, the water tower is next door in Ypsilanti, but still: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ypsilanti_Water_Tower
My aunt is head of another nearby town’s historical preservation society, and she has actually made tshirts. They have a picture of the watertower, and they say “preserving our historic erections”.
No, really. I’m not making this shit up.
Holy crap, I just looked at the whole list. I grew up in number 5, moved to 13 for college and then moved in with my boyfriend in number 14.
I think they’re actually just tracking my purchases.
Lauren – the 57th Street Borders on Park? I am there ALL The time. It has a tremendous romance section. Freaking hugely awesome.
*snortchokes*
What the hell?! Bad enough that I seem to be fresh out of puffy paint sweatshirts and bonbons. Even worse that my pink satin sheets seem to have been snatched by the dryer gremlins and replaced with white cotton. But holy crap! I can not seem to get away from his Fabioliciousness today.
I can’t say that I’m imagining any amortized hip thrusts, but I surely have been cackling maniacally today at the golden one’s expense. What can I say? Never give a bored technogeek internet access and a project that involves long waits while data processes. I’m almost tempted to hip thrust those amazon numbers and see what other odd and amusing facts my ‘puter spits out.
What do you think it means that they counted both romance novels AND self-help relationship books? Isn’t there an inherent difference in the two that makes the combination meaningless (the old apples and oranges thing)?
You postulated that a large middle class/white collar population boosted a city’s ranking because of leisure time for reading. This may be true, but I think what’s probably even MORE true is that these cities are more likely to have techno-savvy, internet-connected, Amazon-ordering people in the first place. And also the disposable income to purchase new books.
Instead of romance ordered per capital, a better statistic would be comparing romance ordered to other reading material ordered per capita. This would control for cities in which most people don’t buy online.
But then, ANY statistic would be a better statistic, so why am I even trying?
PS. It’s not just bookstores – I lived in Alexandria last year and there is no romance AT ALL in the two closest public library branches to my apartment. It definitely impacted my book purchasing.
Mixing self-help books with romances does seem bizarre – they can’t be very romantic if they’re got to resort to books to find out how to do it first!
However, I’m mainly writing about Elizabeth’s mention of the penis-shaped water tower. It’s pretty impressive, but in terms of sheer chutzpah, it’s hard to top Florida, which has a phallic state capitol building! When they first unveiled it, we were all trying to figure out how the architect got away with it. Photos here: http://www.cabinetmagazine.org/phallic/mostvotes.php
(As a side note, I love the Intertubes – searching for a photo of the Tallahassee capitol building, I found this site, which ran a contest for “The Most Phallic Building in the World” The Ypsilanti water tower won for Most Phallic but the Florida building won for Most Votes :-> )
My neighbor’s roommate has that “Tantric Sex for Dummies” book (the book’s owner is also a polyamorous writer of role-playing literature who sports a goatee and an affinity for RenFaire attire – therefore scoring an instant win on any Burning Man Dating Game Bingo card).
I noticed the book over there one day when I was visiting and I just about lost it. Because really, tantric sex doesn’t exactly strike me as something you should put into the hands of dummies.
It’s kinda like seeing a book called “Blowing Glass for Dummies” or “Homemade Fireworks for Dummies.” You just know someone’s going to put an eye out.
(I have this image of Cletus and Marge trying to turn the page while trying to maintain the Tripod position. And failing horribly.)
Now I know where to apply to use my non existant math skills. Sheesh, even I know that these are just wrong. Love the commentary, and when I go visit NYC definately goint to check out the Borders-need more books.
Soni: your crack about your neighbor winning the Burning Man Dating Game Bingo card just about killed me. Just one more question: does he spin fire? Or would that be another subset of Burner?
Talpianna: if we’re talking about where most romance novels are set, and if we’re including historical romances, I think London wins by a huge margin. Next up would probably be New York City.
Nanny: good point about the big-city types also being more likely than the general population to buy things on-line.
Can someone explain the 1e thing please?
My poor mathless mind is going bonkers.
self11- damn you numbers!
Hollyn: It’s hexadecimal (base 16), so the digits are 1-9, a-f. 1e translates to 30… (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hexadecimal)
(happy birthday, Candy!)
*relurks*
she89- well, close enough.
You nailed it!
I’m so annoyed with marketing masquerading as news. Gee whiz, it’s going to be Valentine’s Day soon, let’s put out some media releases that tie in with it.
Using this ‘logic’ they could find the most dangerous cities judging by the number of true crime books bought in relation to population size.
Why not name and shame the least literate cities, judging by the fewest books bought? Fun times ahead.
Too funny. Seattle is #14, but not because it’s a romantic city…because it’s not. Seattle enjoys some of the worst traffic west of the Mississippi and alota (wet & gray) rainy days…both great excuses for escapism. Citizens of this region excell at indoor activities; movie attendance, mall shopping, and (apparently) reading. We have a number of very good bookstores, most with well stocked romance sections.
Majority of women? Wrong data. A recent study actually shows that Seattle is becoming too expensive a city for single women to live in, therefore males are becoming the majority.
Phallic symbols? Seattle Art Museum has commmissioned the real deal. A statue of a naked man about to embrace a naked boy. According to rumor, the original draft included erections. Does that qualify as romantic…or just yuck?
I know how Irvine made number four. The town isn’t just lacking romance novels in bookstores, it is plain lacking in bookstores, and the ones that it has are small. Seriously, this area is very, very light on books for a town with a major university.
I’m kind of glad to hear that people here are ordering books. I was afraid that no one was reading!
Now I ain’t no stuuuupergenius, but their results are based on sales data collected starting Jan 1st 2008…isn’t that an awfully small window of time? How many romance novels have y’all bought in the last month?
Granted, about 2 weeks ago I ordered Laura Kinsale’s “The Hidden Heart” from Amazon (the one Kinsale I still have never gotten around to reading) but my order also included “Charlie & Lola’s My Wobbly Tooth Must Come Out.”
vfword: further82, they should have taken this silly survey further indeed. Put more effort into your asshattery, Amazon, please!
oh, you know us silly romance-novel reading wimmin-folk. obviously our teeny-tiny rains cannot process such great material as Plato, so we turn to ‘bodice-rippers’.
i’m finally at the point in my life where i can bring a romance novel with lurid cover wherever the hell i want and read it without shame; like i’m gonna let idiots ruin my enjoyment. maybe the next day it’ll be hemingway or proulx, but right then i am fine with the rolled eyes and condescending looks my brockmann or kleypas will inevitably get.
i mean, i love me a good cobb salad or steak, but sometimes? i just want a bar of lindt chocolate.
Harrumph. There goes my lifelong dream of working for Amazon (ok, five-minute-long … honestly). If I had known that all you needed for higher math and statistics was Excel and a sharpie, I would never have gone on to grad school. What a waste.
I will be printing this ridiculous thing out and passing it out to my students as an example of what NOT to do in a statistical study. Sheesh.
Oh, and everyone knows that to be truly literate you must read Plato in the original Greek. Translations are for wussies.
Is it bad that I sort of want one of those “historic erections” t-shirts, Elizabeth?
They castrated my town’s water tower when I was in college and then neutered the area completely. I was so sad.
Haven’t tried the Borders on Park and 57th, but now I may have to. I’m always ending up at the B&N in Union Square, where not only is the romance section small, but everyone camps out there to read and to actually conduct their romances. WTF, Dude? I’m sorry I interrupted your breakup fight so I could read choice bits from Thug-a-Licious out loud to my best friend…
I’m wondering if we need to have a Bitch gathering at that Borders. In the romance section.
Candy and Sarah, I didn’t get to read this yesterday, but y’all just absolutely kill me.
Soni, still laughing over here.
Now I lived in Austin for 18 years, funny, it’s number 18 on the list. One of those woo woo things, ya know?
And Austin is far from romantic, but it is eclectic and fun. Had a friend who lived behind Antones when it was still on Guadalupe rather than downtown, (a wonderful blues club where they had live music) and we’d sit inside his house, open the windows and drink margaritas and let the music wash over us. THAT was romantic!
Bailey
I just had to share this bit from the Fabio link someone posted:
“Fabio got his start posing for the covers of
romance novels. Romance novels are actually pornography for women. Since there are no lewd, explicit photos, romance novels are all but unknown to men.”
Sandra D: Beat me to it. I read that, and thought that it probably translates as “Yeah, I read chick porn. Got a problem with my porn, dude? Tough noogies. I’m going to keep reading my chick porn. Because *my* porn’s got *words* in it, unlike yours.” 🙂
Mala and SB Sarah,
It’s the same down her in Philly. I love me some B&N for SciFi (and also their service-Borders employees don’t know crap from crap, but B&N are always recommending stuff, looking for my book in the back underneath a bazillion boxes…), but their romance section blows. Meanwhile, head into Borders, whose SciFi section is about a bookcase long, while their romance is hundreds and hundreds of books across.
Wait, I’ve actually had books shipped to a couple of those cities. Does that make me romantic or them?
The Ypsilanti water Tower “Historic Erection” t shirts are available from the Old House Network in Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Ask for them at ohn @ oldhousenetwork.org
Gwynnyd (who is one of Elizabeth’s other aunts…)
I worked in a university bookstore for several years and the buyer refused to stock romances unless they were among the NY Times top 10 hardcover bestsellers.
Don’t the self-help books imply that someone can’t get a date while the sex guide implies someone is getting laid? Neither is obviously romantic.
Now if Azn had measured how many copies 1001 Ways to Be Romantic had sold and gave us a list of those cities, I’d be more inclined to believe their claim about romance.
What I want to know is whether more people in these cities are buying sex guides or relationship self-help books; that would better measure how much fun a person is more likely to have visiting them.
Orlando, FL represent!
I think Groundskeeper Willy said it best: “Your woman’s in Orlando, man! You can’t go three steps there without falling into a Tunnel of Love!”