Weightless Sex - Erotica Writers, Take Note!

The last erotica set in space that I read involved heroes who can psychically rip the heroine’s clothing off if she is The One, and something involve nipple stimulation during orgasm that causes her to lay an egg. Clearly whatever space planet they were on had gravity because the question of weightless sex never came up (hur hur).

But thanks to Bitchery reader Jen, I’m now pondering sexual positions at zero-gravity, because apparently some lucky astronauts were the “guinea pigs” in a nookie-in-space experiment. Dude. I’m not sure I’d be willing to go all the way for my job were I a government employee.

However, you can’t deny – that’s some seriously ripe (hur hur) plot basis for hawt erotica.

ESPECIALLY if the experiments involved 2 lithe astronaut men and some weightless buttsecks. Because what-what-in-the-butt + zero-Gs = WIN!

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Charlene says:

    Today’s confession: I once wrote a what-what-in-the-butt + zero-Gs scene back in the Paleolithic (ie before 1999) era.

    Wasn’t very good, but I wrote it…

  2. 2
    Victoria Janssen says:

    Under my Elspeth Potter pseduonym, I had a zer-gee story titled “Free Falling” in Best Lesbian Erotica 2003—it was a threesome.

    http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9781573441612

    Barnes & Noble lists it as available.

  3. 3
    Lyvvie says:

    I’m remembering a movie, and I think it had John Malkovich in it, and he was a robot! There was zero gravity nookie there…Making Mr. Right I think it was called.

  4. 4

    If zero-gee toilets use suction (yes, the shit is supposed to hit the fan), it makes me wonder if ejaculation would be possible or painful in a weightless environment.

    I can also see where there might be issues over getting blood into tissue that needs to be erect for maximum effect.  ISTR that proper blood flow to the limbs is an ongoing concern in a weightless environment.

    I’d still like to see that guinea pig video.  Now, that would be a Friday OMGWTFNSFW! video to share here.

  5. 5
    Teddy Pig says:

    Cause I’m Freeeee Balling…

    It’s all about the docking.

  6. 6
    fiveandfour says:

    I must admit that I’m reeaaalllly curious about the positions that required the “mechanical assistance” and what the “mechanical assistance” entailed.

  7. 7
    JC says:

    *giggles* I think there’s an Elloras Cave title that has weightless sex that I reviewed.  I can’t remembered if I liked it or not, but I do distinctly remember some interesting acrobatics during it.

    *grins*

  8. 8
    Teddy Pig says:

    “mechanical assistance” like jet thrusters?

  9. 9
    Rosemary says:

    She laid an egg?  Are you for real? 

    See, people?  This is why I don’t read fantasy/sci-fi romance.

  10. 10
    Monika says:

    While this takes nothing away from the beauty of the article (or maybe it does and I am being nasty) I’ve had enough time to waste extending the post-working pre-cleaning period to come up with //blogs.guardian.co.uk/news/2007/12/sex_in_space_or_not.html. Which does or does not make the whole thing fiction…

  11. 11
    Suzanne Gross says:

    Rosemary – I am so with you!  Laid an egg – Whatever!

  12. 12
    smartmensab-tch says:

    Dammit Sarah!  Now I’ve got all kinds of distracting X rated mental pictures running through my head! I’m an analyst, not a sex researcher!

    It’s kind of like when you hear about a mixed breed dog whose parents were from breeds of very different sizes (for ex., Great Dane and chihuahua).  You can’t help wondering how the parents, uh, did it.

    At least, I can’t.

  13. 13
    MplsGirl says:

    So, um, if you’re doing it in zero-g, is it like doing it in a hot tub,  but without the water? Sort of floaty . . .  Like fiveandfour I wonder what sort of “mechanical assistance” was required?

    My neighbor has a rat terrier-great dane mix. Cute dog, but I wanna know who thought to put those two together?

  14. 14
    Lorelie says:

    I wonder what sort of “mechanical assistance” was required?

    I’m envisioning velcro kneepads and really big rubber bands.

  15. 15
    Kalen Hughes says:

    Laid an egg or ovulated? The former is distinctly disturbing . . .

    And I *heart* TeddyPig!!!

  16. 16
    Ann Bruce says:

    Only four positions were found possible without “mechanical assistance”. The other six needed a special elastic belt and inflatable tunnel, like an open-ended sleeping bag.

    Mr Kohler says: “One of the principal findings was that the classic so-called missionary position, which is so easy on earth when gravity pushes one downwards, is simply not possible.”

    Ah, so no inspirational romances in zero gravity?

  17. 17

    I once submitted an entry to AAR’s Purple Prose Contest.  It was sex in outer space, and I remembered about the zero-g thing.  :-)

    http://allaboutromance.com/ppp2000b.html#5

    Ah, so no inspirational romances in zero gravity?

    LMAO

  18. 18
    eggs says:

    Victoria Janssen said:

    ‘Under my Elspeth Potter pseduonym, I had a zer-gee story titled “Free Falling” in Best Lesbian Erotica 2003—it was a threesome.’

    Turns out this might be the only kind of sex that’s really viable in space.  Following the links trail through to the Slate article, it seems the main obstacle to space sex is chronic low blood pressure resulting in a Mr Floppy instead of a Mr Stiffy. 

    Now I have visions of recruitment campaigns for future all-lesbian missions to Mars … “It’s the only way to ensure the crew stays happy, Mr. President.  We need more lesbian astronauts and we need them NOW!”

  19. 19

    I read a fantasy erotica where the heroine laid an egg… it was deeply, deeply disturbing.  Actually, the whole story was.  It was one of those you only keep reading because you think it can’t possibly get worse… and then it does.

    And I’m thinking of those big inflatable ball things you tow with a ski-boat in a whole new light right now.

  20. 20
    Gwynnyd says:

    That brings back memories of one of my favorite filk songs.

    (sorry that it’s not a link. I have no clue how to embed one)

    http://www.ovff.org/pegasus/songs/docking-maneuvers.html

    A Reconsideration Of Anatomical Docking Maneuvers In A Zero-Gravity Environment

    by Diana Gallagher

    5:  Making love in a zero-g environment
        may foster changes in our moral attitudes.
      Nature provides for the planetbound,
        but the state-of-the-art
        in orbit must improve.
        Desperate lovers may engage… space age sex aids.

    6:  Together tethers would prevent random wandering.
        Magnetic harnesses incorporating alternating poles
      Would sustain an interaction electrically.
        Rear-thrusters would supply
        perfect docking control.
        Entry speed and rhythm set, easy on the retro-jets.

  21. 21
    Christina says:

    When I first read the article a few weeks back, I thought they meant real guinea pigs. as in, the small, furry mammals. It didn’t click until just now. I was a little puzzled—“how did they get the guinea pigs to mate? How would that be applicable to humans? Don’t guinea pigs have one position anyway? Why would that be censored?”

    *facepalm*

  22. 22

    They let the guinea pigs read some Ellora’s Cave books before liftoff, Christina.

  23. 23
    lil says:

    Angela Knight’s short story, Roarke’s Prisoner in the Secrets Vol. 2 anthology has a zero gravity sex scene.

  24. 24
    SusanL says:

    FYI – I’m pretty sure the “Egg” book is an EC ebook by Jaid Black.  The title might be The Empress’s Clothes?  It was the first book of a series.  Should I be embarassed to remember this?

    As I recall, the scene when she laid her egg(s) was hysterically funny. 

    For the record, I did not know what I was getting into when I bought it and I plead ignorance.

  25. 25
    Laurel says:

    All I can think of is, shit, I wonder what it would take to get my hands on those videos.

  26. 26
    clostcrafter says:

    Perhaps I shall blame it on the crazy day I had at work, however, I also thought they were talking about guinea pigs, and I thought to myself, “Can you see a guinea pig penis on video?”

    And didn’t someone have to manipu;ate the gp’s into position?

    Apparently, my daily allotment of brain cells was drained at the office.

  27. 27
    Briony says:

    I don’t think the sex could have been that good if the code name only rated a XX.

  28. 28
    JulieB says:

    I nominate these as the best comments ever!

  29. 29
    smartmensab-tch says:

    Just thought of this.  Can you imagine the scene when whoever explains the missions to the astro- or cosmo- nauts, told them about these experiments?

    “OK, ladies and gentlemen, you’ll be doing something a little unusual on this mission…”

    Gives a whole new meaning to “The Final Frontier”, doesn’t it?

  30. 30
    smartmensab-tch says:

    I think there’s a whole new market opening up here (hur) for erectile dysfunction drugs!

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