The Name That Character Contest: The Winners!

After getting a somewhat hysterical email from Barbara Caridad Ferrer, we have narrowed down a field of hilarious entries to the top 9, who will receive a copy of It’s Not About the Accent with a grand prize winner who will receive a copy of both It’s Not About the Accent, and Adios to My Old Life, plus a copy of Guitar Hero III.

We have our winners!  You guys made this ridiculously hard, you know that?  Y’all are wicked funny and had me envisioning multiple scenarios with these characters.  So, using the very scientific methods of “Omigod, I just snorted Diet Coke up my nose†and “I nearly wet myself laughing,†we’ve come up with these nine finalists and one grand prize winner!

The Top 9

Fabiano (means “bean grower”, yeah baby)
Hotter than Paris and Paris
Posted by Lila

Name: Xavier Michael Santiago
Stage name: X as in album title “X”tasy.
5 word decription: He’s smart like Kellie Pickler
Posted by Angelina

Billy Joe Haggard
Five Words: As Country as It sounds
Lead Singer of the Country/Pop group “Dixie-Flavored Man Candy” or D.F.M.C. as they refer to it on the radio.
Posted by PattiR

his name is shev’lavio. 
small s.  apostrophe included.
Posted by sartorias

Samuel Edward Xavier
“My initials are my life”
Posted by SamG

Brett Vanderhöög
He rocks harder with umlauts.
Posted by aurianrose

Robbie O: Because together they are Robiana.
Posted by RandomRanter

Javier Garcia, but he goes by Jaaaa-vier (He’s pissed that his parents didn’t have the common courtesy to have a unique last name so he wouldn’t have to come up with a new one. Which he hasn’t because thinking is HARD, vato.).
Oh, and it’s also the name of my sister’s ex-husband.  She’d appreciate this.
Description: The universe revolves around him.
Posted by Maria

SB Sarah says: Getting back at the sister’s ex-husband?  Bonus points.

Hoff Herrera
Mama Herrera Likey Hasselhoff Era
Posted by CathyB. 

SB Sarah says: PSST!!  CathyB – please email me (sarah @ smartbitchestrashybooks.com) with your contact info, since I can’t contact you!

Barbara Ferrer says: It’s Hoff, man!  How could we not?  And think of the costuming possibilities!  Leather…. And chest hair!

And our Sooper Grand Prize Winner is…

Given name: Juan Raoul Febrio
Sexy Lead Singer Name: Raoul Febrio
Name His Girlfriend Keeps Pushing For: Febrio
(because then they’d match SO MUCH BETTER! And it sounds like Fabio! And then they’d be Fabiana and Febrio! Which could be Febriana… or Fabrio… like Brangelina, but Fab-ulous!… also, it’s about the number of letters he can manage to arrange correctly on any given day…)
His description: “Still dreams of joining Menudo”
Posted by JaneDrew

She had us at “Menudo.â€

Thanks everyone for playing— it was huge fun getting to go through these!  Jane, you’ll need to let us know what system you want Guitar Hero III for, and no, SB Sarah, I’m not going to consider Benny Lava as a character name, even if his buns are fine.  Sorry!

Well played, everyone. Thanks for some hilarious entries!

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Barb Ferrer says:

    Thanks SO much for playing everyone—it really made for an entertaining weekend, with the Hub shaking his head at me as I broke into uncontrollable giggles at odd moments. 

    And just for fun, in my blog today, I posted pictures of how I see Fabiana, ten years on, and how I see poor, little Febrio.  Actually, I think the guy whose picture I found was in the new version of Menudo, which makes it all that more delicious.

    Anyhow, if anyone wants to see, go here and scroll down to the bottom of the post—it’s a Cabana Boy day, so there are a lot of pictures today.  But you’ll know when you get to Fabiana—trust me.

    Thanks again!

  2. 2
    RandomRanter says:

    Congrats, JaneDrew.  And I have to say, the whole thing just makes me giggle unconttrollably – so Yay!

  3. 3
    TracyS says:

    Congrats JaneDrew!!

    I used to LOVE Menudo!!  I remember my favorite was Charlie something or other! ;)

  4. 4

    Oh, no, Barb! Benny Lava would’ve been PERFECT!!!

    Congrats to JaneDrew!

  5. 5
    MaryKate says:

    Such smart and creative bitches hang here!

    Congrats to all the winners, and especially JaneDrew!

  6. 6
    Tania_HC says:

    Congratulations! I almost ended up in a YOMANK situation, these were hilarious.

  7. 7
    JaneDrew says:

    Thank you, guys!

    Now that I’ve finished with the “jumping up and down and making loud SQUEEEEE!!! noises” part of things, I just wanted to say how happy I am (namely, very) to have won out of such an august group. Also, that Dixie-Flavored Man Candy totally needs to be a band name. Possibly for a band where some members have umlauts and aren’t afraid to use them.

    JaneDrew

  8. 8
    Barb Ferrer says:

    Congrats, Jane!!  And you’re right—Dixie Flavored Man Candy SO has to be a name.  BTW, did you see the image I gave your poor little Febrio?

    Oh, and don’t forget to tell Sarah or you can just email me directly, what system you want Guitar Hero III for.

  9. 9
    PattiR says:

    If Dixie Flavored Man Candy is ever an actual name out there, well, they owe me money.  LOL
    Congrats JaneDrew, your entry was hysterical.

Comments are closed.

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