Name that Character - A Smart Bitch Contest

Barbara Caridad Ferrer and I cooked up a contest for your creative pleasure – you name a character for her latest book, and win books to read! Woot!

Ferrer explains:

“Be careful or you’ll wind up in my novel.” I have this saying on a sweatshirt.  I love wearing this sweatshirt.  It always prompts a nice little double take.

But this isn’t about me.  Well, it is, but it’s also about you, dear readers.  Have you ever wanted to create/name a character?  Well, here’s your chance.  I’m beginning work on a sequel/companion novel to Adiós to My Old Life.  I say companion novel because it’s not another YA, but rather, an adult story, taking place ten years after the end of Adiós, where we get to revisit all the characters we loved and those we didn’t love so much.

For those of you who read the book, remember Fabiana?  Raging poseur bitch from hell?

For those of you who haven’t read the book, Fabiana—just Fabiana—is a raging poseur bitch from hell.  Think… Bastard love child of Madonna, Gwen Stefani, & Shakira, but with not as much talent and with Axl Rose’s ego.  Yeah, she’s really that bad.

Anyhow, in the sequel, Fabiana has become a tabloid talk/variety show host and I think she needs a boyfriend – and this is where you come in.  I need some suggestions as to a name and type of guy he might be.  The only guideline is that I see him as the lead singer of some sort of band— what type of band, not a big thing.  He can be like Residente, from Calle 13 (rap/reggaetón) or like Fehr, from Maná (sort of hard rock) or even like Ricky Martín— and he’s going to be stupider than dirt, poor thing.  Fabiana wants him for his buns and his ability to be arm candy.

So what’s in it for you?

Aside from the fact that you can get revenge on the boyfriend who broke your heart and immortalize him as a complete jackass, the ten best, as judged by me and the Smart Bitches, will get signed copies of my latest release, It’s Not About the Accent, and as extra incentive, what with the holidays and all coming up, there’s gonna be a Extra Sooper Grand Prize, which will be copies of both Adiós and Accent and a copy of GUITAR HERO III for the gaming system of your choice.  (Yeah, I know what the real draw’s gonna be, my ego’s not THAT big.)

You’ll also get my undying gratitude.

So put the thinking caps on and give us your best loser rock star name.

Bueno! Head on down to the comments and give us your entry: we need a name and a five word description of said dude. You have 24 hours starting now – so name that dude!

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Freezair says:

    Here’s my shot at it:
    Florian Abbadon Montelfort. Stage Name: El Flor. (Yes, I know, “flor” is a feminine noun, blah blah.)

    5 word description: Paid his way through college.

  2. 2
    Sweeney Agonistes says:

    Tron Gillespie.

    Five words: Thinks he’s smart as Dylan.

    (Bob Dylan.)

  3. 3
    lysrian says:

    Cisco Mattern

    Rat-Bastard – proud of it

    I wanted to use “Rat-Bastard and proud of it”, but I am not quite sure if Rat-Bastard is one word or two.

  4. 4
    Megan says:

    Papi Rebel.

    Because I can’t STAND Daddy Yankee.

  5. 5
    Claire says:

    Jason M. Morris

    In love with own penis

  6. 6
    jackie says:

    Marcel Ryser.

    Five words: His world and his mirror.

  7. 7
    kim says:

    Paco Rodriquez
    Stage Name: 6 pac or P-Rod

    5 words: voice of angels and bunsalicious


  8. 8
    Angelina says:

    Name: Xavier Michael Santiago

    Stage name: X as in album title “X”tasy.

    5 word decription: He’s smart like Kellie Pickler.

    my spam word radio73 – I heard that poor girl on the radio this morning.

  9. 9
    cyrano says:

    Jambles—pop-star type.

    Five words: Polite conversation? What’s that?

  10. 10
    Lizzie (greeneyed fem) says:

    Are multiple entries allowed?

    Randall Craig Lexton – doesn’t know any Beatles songs

    Morgan Archer Mann, stage name M.A. Mann – R. Kelly protege

    Trench Archer – his hero is Brandon Davis

    Elvis Arlo Schrader – sweet, stupid, believes in love

    Chase Clyster – rich, spoiled, calls her ‘babe’

    ps. Clyster is an old-fashioned word for enema.

  11. 11
    Becs says:

    Hector Fiero

    looks bad but is sweet

  12. 12
    Crystal says:

    Federico Angarnes

    5 words- narcissistic, sexy, moody, spoiled, and careless

  13. 13
    SamG says:

    Samuel Edward Xavier

    “My initials are my life”


  14. 14
    Lori says:

    Gregg Rock, known as G Rock. Drummer for an aging 70s style metal/hair band.

    5 words: Really believes his own press.

  15. 15
    Arwen says:

    Pucci – Because Gucci was already taken

    Rich – just like the name, babe

    Winston Salem The Third – Faux British duke, smokes cigarillos

    Mann Hole – Trailer trash name bedroom eyes

  16. 16
    Carrie Lofty says:


    It means “small flute” in Italian, if ya know what I mean. So his description: Plays RAWK guitar to overcompensate.

  17. 17
    Kimberly B. says:

    Gnash Carmichael
    Trying to bring back ‘80s style hair bands and speaks in a fake British accent.

  18. 18
    Kimberly B. says:

    Oops.  I can’t read or can’t count.  Disqualify my entry if you must.

  19. 19
    Lila says:

    Fabiano (means “bean grower”, yeah baby)

    Hotter than Paris and Paris

  20. 20
    PattiR says:

    Billy Joe Haggard

    Five Words: As Country as It sounds

    Lead Singer of the Country/Pop group “Dixie-Flavored Man Candy” or D.F.M.C. as they refer to it on the radio.

  21. 21
    E.D'Trix says:

    Cree Figueroa—The Poor Man’s Ricky Martin

  22. 22
    Laura says:

    Max Fury

    Likes to flex his pecs

  23. 23
    AnimeJune says:

    Radcliffe Savage. Nickname: Rad Savage!

    Five Words: Lost his goblet of rock.

    All these names are reminding me of that time Homer Simpson changed his name: Max POWER….it’s the name that you love to TOUCH…but you MUSTN’T TOUCH!!!”

  24. 24


    It means “small flute” in Italian, if ya know what I mean. So his description: Plays RAWK guitar to overcompensate.
    Posted by Carrie Lofty

    I vote for this one!!!

    The only ex I’d like to see satirized in a book (though he’s done pretty well on his own in real life) has a very ordinary name.

  25. 25
    Brianna says:

    Drake Bristol – Rock Band

    Description: Eyeliner looks better on men

  26. 26

    (not the ex’s name by the way)

    Joey Mancuso

    Tight pants enhance small package

  27. 27
    Why am I being insulted says:

    Marc Valenitne.
    Too sexy for his shirt.
    * I totally have that song playing in my head every time I see a prime example of mantitty. Dunno why *

  28. 28
    Lorelie says:

    Bruce Badd

    It’s good to be bad.

  29. 29
    sartorias says:

    his name is shev’lavio.  small s.  apsstrophe included.

  30. 30

    Fernando O’Sullivan-Fernandez

    Just don’t call me Fern.

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