Hot or Not?

Marta Acosta, in a desperate attempt to have her name associated with something other than the great vulva puppet website, sent me the following info. Seems after People Magazine named their sexiest men (with Matt Damon topping the list – yawn), Salon countered with their own list, Jon Hamm landing as #1 of their sexiest men. While I’m not sure I agree with the idea that Owen Wilson’s suicidal depression ups his hotness factor, I do love the not-the-same-old-homogenized-hot-dudes of their list.

Especially because StrongBad totally makes their list. Dudes, form a line to my left for high fives!

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  1. 1
    Jessica D says:

    I was about to bemoan the sad lack of any of my imaginary boyfriends on either list, but then there was my man SB, so Salon is forgiven.

    People? You’re on notice.

  2. 2
    Brianna says:

    I must be *special* today, I can’t get the list on Salon. It keeps asking me to sign up.

  3. 3
    Marta Acosta says:

    Thanks, Sarah, for reinforcing that association!  I owe you one…and I mean that sincerely.

    For those who can’t get on the Salon site, go to their home page and a commercial comes up.  On the top right is a “Skip the ad” button.  Skip it and you’ll go to the site.

    I stopped watching “Mad Men” the moment a sexy secretary says, “Wear scarves!  men love scarves!”

    And Sean Penn?  Sean Penn? SPICOLLI?

    Anderson Cooper?  The pseudo-serious, humorless girl’s Jon Stewart?

    And they’ve got a straight guy saying he’s got a man crush on film critic Anthony Lane.  If I want a straight man’s opinion on a sexy guy…no, wait, I’d never want that.

    I am glad to find that I’m not the only one who finds J. Pepin hawt.

  4. 4
    Barb Ferrer says:

    Oh, oh, oh… Jon Hamm!  And just the whole of the pitch-perfect MadMen.  I’ve been that show’s bitch since the premiere—hell, they’ve even made me forget that Vincent Kartheiser played weenie-boy Connor on Angel—his portrayal of a young married caught on the cusp of a cultural and sexual revolution has been nothing short of beautiful.  But Jon Hamm owns the show.

    And they had my boy Omar Vizquel on the list!  Eeeeee!  Watching the Cleveland Indians play during the time I lived in Cleveland was an utter joy, with guys like Omar and Jim Thome and Tony Peña—guys who really loved the game and who played it like a game

    I’m squeeing, aren’t I?

    *sigh*

    Back to revisions with me.

  5. 5
    Wry Hag says:

    Uh, those are some weirdass picks.  In fact, both lists leave me more or less cold…with a few hot flashes here and there. 

    Can’t say that most of Salon’s choices set me aflutter.  Owen Wilson squicks me out and has since I first saw him in that miserable adaptation of The Haunting (spin, Shirley, spin!)  Can’t he do something about his freakin’ nose?  I certainly hope he resolves his issues and keeps himself alive, but Jesus, that nose has to go.

    People’s list, on the other hand, does seriously suffer from predictability and the yawn factor—although, plebe that I am, I’d certainly snatch more guys from their roster than Salon’s.  Dempsey I’ll do anytime, as long as he doesn’t talk.

    What I really want to see is a list culled from those armies of nameless, unsung hotties who appear in tv commercials and on book covers.  Oh yeah.  Why?  Cuz I gave up wanting to fuck someone’s mind when Carl Sagan died and someone’s talent when Fred Astaire died and someone’s sense of humor when Richard Pryor died, that’s why.

  6. 6
    Stephanie says:

    I second the Strong Bad love! Also on the Salon list: Bret and Jemaine from “Flight of the Conchords.” Oh man, those two prove my theory that funny is sexy as hell.

  7. 7
    theda bara says:

    Aww, I like Matt Damon.

  8. 8

    I gotta go with Rob Thomas. Any time he wants dinner and a show, he knows who to call…

  9. 9
    asrai says:

    SHEMAR MOORE. He’s the entire reason I watch “Criminal Minds”. Well okay, the Garcia is pretty hot too. (what can I say? I love geeks).

  10. 10
    Daisy Adaire says:

    Kanye West? Seriously? Cause, eew.

    Unless, you know, having an ego that could block the sun and kill all life on earth is hot. In that case, hell yeah!

  11. 11
    quichepup says:

    Yay, Ira Glass! I was glad to see The Flight of the Conchords and Strong Bad made the list. But no mention of Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart? 

    Alec Baldwin? Sean Penn? Owen Wilson? For real? Might as well include Larry King then.

  12. 12
    fiveandfour says:

    I was thinking of opening up that can of worms related to age, then decided to put down the opener.

    Instead I’ll just say that the comments on the Salon site about Alec Baldwin’s voice impressions in that episode of 30 Rock are spot on.  I laughed myself sick watching that episode and wanted to hit my husband when he deleted it from the DVR – I needed to watch it again to hear the stuff I missed when laughing. 

    And theda bera, I like Matt Damon, too.  I generally roll my eyes at that People thing, but this time it kinda’ made me smile.

  13. 13
    Marci says:

    Yummy!  Though Jon Hamm is hella hot, I gotta go with The Conchords and Will Arnet on this one.  All of them make me laugh til I tingle all over.  Gotta love that. 

    Jon Hamm does get bonus sexy points for being the DBF of Jessica Westfeldt.  She is one of my girl crushes.

  14. 14
    Ann Bruce says:

    Am I the only one who wants to grab Stephen Colbert by his perfectly knotted tie and drag him to a dark corner?

  15. 15
    TracyS says:

    Am I in the minority b/c I’d grab more guys off the People list than the Salon list? Although, I couldn’t find the actual list on the People site, just the video with the guys flashing by so fast I got a headache LOL

    Where’s Joaquin Phoenix? *fans self*  I had a crush on his pretty boy brother, River, in High School. But something about Joaquin just really appeals to me.  Hmmmmm, gotta go watch Ladder 49 now. . .

    Oh, and my kids are 5 and 8, so when I see Shia Lebeouf (or however you spell that) and Zac Efron I still see them like they were on Disney shows (when they WERE teenagers. Ick. lol)

  16. 16
    Leslie says:

    … and ladies will form a line to the left, for make-outs!

  17. 17
    Charlene says:

    Do my eyes deceive me or is Jason Momoa nowhere to be found on either list?

    If so, I say Ha! Ha! to their inadequate lists.

  18. 18

    Ann Bruce—Yes. Dear God, yes.

    Tracy—Good question. Where *was* Joaquin Phoenix? I’ve been eyeing him ever since…oh, what was that film with Liv Tyler years and years ago? He played the ‘bad’ brother who slept with Jennifer Connelly, and I quite enjoyed that on both counts!

  19. 19

    I love Jason Bourne but I just can’t bring myself to find Damon appealing. Breaking up with your girlfriend by announcing on national television that you’ve broken up, when she knows nothing about it? Sleazy.

    This is why I can’t stomach Jude Law, no matter how many magazines try to shove him down my throat. The man is slime.

    Now, Steven Colbert, Joaquin Phoenix, and Owen Wilson…yum. (Which makes Owen officially the only blond man I find sexy.)

  20. 20
    Angelina says:

    No where do I see hottie chef Tyler Florence? Wtf? Gorgeous & can cook? Come on! I mean Jacques Peppin is ok but compared to Tyler? Yowza! No contest what so ever.

  21. 21
    Ciar Cullen says:

    I’m kinda on board with the Matt Damon thing. The only thing I don’t like about him is the whole Red Sox thing. Freakin bums.

  22. 22
    Ri L. says:

    @Ann Bruce – It’s true!  He’s gotta be twice my age, but in the opening to his show, when he whips his glasses off and does the eyebrow thing, I blush despite myself.  He is quite hot.

  23. 23
    Brianna says:

    Thanks Marta Acosta! I finally got there.

    Wow, Salon and I definitely don’t have the same tastes. People’s list is closer but not quite hitting it either. Too bad. Maybe we should make our own list.

  24. 24

    Oh, Angelina, I loooove Tyler!

  25. 25
    Ciar Cullen says:

    Tyler’s been eating a bit too much of his own cookin for my taste.

    And Ann, definitely, the tie-grabbing, glasses knocking off Colbert thing. Yep.

  26. 26
    Marta Acosta says:

    <

    >

    Yep, Brianna, that’s what I was hoping the SB’s would do—compile a list of Smart Bitches’ 50 Sexiest Men.

    Okay, my taste is frequently idiosyncratic (although Clive Owen is at the top of the list), and I suggest Christopher Eccleston, who played Dr. Who for a season.  Big ears never looked so hawt.

  27. 27
    Katielicious says:

    “…this Dylan—stung by the rejection of longtime fans who saw his plugging-in at the Newport Film Festival as an act of heresy instead of merely inevitable…”

    Ah, yes, the famous Newport Film Festival. Dylan really disrespected the art of film when he went all electric’n’stuff.

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