In our discussion of Historical Erotica, Kate Duffy volunteered to give away five copies of Explosive by Charlotte Mede, a January 2008 release from Brava.
How to give away? Well, I figure, poor Kensington, they need help. After the subtlety of Big Spankable Asses, they need help coming up with titles for books. (And again, for the record – that ass? NOT BIG. I KNOW FROM BIG ASS.)
So – it’s time for a quick round of Help A Publisher Out. We need title ideas for the sequel to Big Spankable Asses. Top five as judged by Kate win a free copy of Explosive. So leave your title suggestion – Giant Dangling Boobs? Swampy Engorged Manmeat? – in the comments, and Kate will stop by to judge at 4:00 pm Eastern time Monday, 29 October. Comments will close at 3:30 pm Eastern time.
Come (hur) to think about it, that list of horrid euphemisms from EC might help here. Except, not.
(BTW, the juxtaposition of the entry with the ad for a title including the word “Moon” bought out my inner 12-year-old.)
OK, brainstorming:
Don’t Make the Bed
Tangled Sheets
Undressing
Rocking & Rolling
Plump and Juicy
All Night Long
Lush Lickable Lady Lips
Turn the Other Cheek
Big Booties Duet Better (*snickers* Just had to add some music humor)
Going Low and Getting Some
Hot and Wanting
I will have to think on this some more.
Let’s think about our target audience. . .
Packing Heavy Heat
Too Much Man!
Big All Over
Who’s Your Daddy
And to finish off, I leave you with a couple pornographic LOLDUDEs:
OH HAI IM IN UR SHOWER LAUNCHING MAI SUBMARINE!!
too small pants DO NOT WANT!!
Total Asshole (featuring an anti-hero)
Sweet and Sour Wanton (what? No, I don’t know either, but it probably involves a Chinese restaurant)
Measuring Up
Big Moons Rising
Tight Naughty Tushes (and it’s explosive too. Get it, TNT…)
Big Hairy Balls
Bountiful Bouncing Bosoms/Boobs (alliteration is always nice)
another variant of the last:
Bodacious Bouncing Boobs
I’m in a humourous mood:
Big Spankable Asses 2: 2 Big 2 Spank
Bigger, Spankable-er Asses
Playing the Southern Bongoes
Convenient Travel-Size Spankable Asses
Smiling Sideways
Beefwhistle Express
Booty Duty
Bounteous, Bounceable Booties
Don’t Ass, Don’t Tell
Riding the Moon Pony
Okay, I’m spent.
I’ve given up suggesting titles to Kensington, ever since they decided to title my next anthology (with Karin Tabke) “Italian Stallions.” No matter how hard I argued, Hilary would not call it “Italian Man Meat,” or my second choice, “Spicy Hard Salami”
And Christina, your LOLdudes made me spew coffee.
oh, and my word verification could be a title too:
much69
Big Bouncy Balls!
Small Bindable Wrists!
Medium-sized Pierceable Nipples!
Red Beans and Rice! (um, no, I have no idea what that’d mean in an erotica context)
(nation69????? That _would_ be an interesting complement to the National Day of Prayer….)
My faves so far are ‘Sweet and Sour Wanton’ and ‘Beefwhistle Express’ – that last one made me laugh out loud.
Big Spankable Asses 2: The Other Cheek
Bodacious Ta-Tas
Hung Like A Horse
Why Buy The Bull When You Can Get The Horns For Free?
She Wore Mirror Toed Vera Wangs To The Highland Games.
Okay, I know I’ve only recently come out of my lurk-dom, but here goes:
Slingin’ Swingin’ Sweet Meat
Slick, Lick-able Spam Javelins
Bed Snakes and Bouncing Buns
(I also really like Teddypig’s last one above).
Lovely Lady Lumps
Thick Juicy Pork Swords
Hairy Ta-Tas and the One Eyed Trouser Snake
Me and You and A Hooker Named Sue
Large Imposing Milk Jugs
Come Do Me…(w/a pix of nice legs in stilettos)
Twin Revenge..
SadoMass U
Fate’s Finger…or Fingering??
Playful Penes
Wrathful Witches
Gigantic Gigolo
Buckin for a Fuckin
Beast with Two Backs
Long John’s Lust
Longer, Harder, Deeper
Pleasing Pussy
Go Further Faster
I didn’t read the others, hope I’m not too off base…
Noticed I have an alliterative bent though…
SamG
Even Bigger Spankable Asses (with an even smaller ass than the first one on the cover…or a montage of small ass-itude would be great)
Big Spankable Asses 2: The Dark Country
Hard Dicks, Small Minds
We could also go with truth in advertising:
Yes, We’re Trying to Cash In On BDSM
My word is “can15.” I’m not sure if I’m supposed to can something or if Kensington is.
The other entries are great, not sure I have enough to compete, but I had to add:
Pleasure Squeeze
Squeezin’ and Pleasin’
The Lollipop Man (I dunno where it came from, but probably from thinking of something to do with licking…)
Best Undressed
OMG, coffee spew. Sweet and Sour Wanton LOL
I can’t top any of these.
If they decide to branch out, perhaps
Donkey Schlong All Night Long
This Got me thinking and I thought “well what the hell, let’s have a bit of laughable fun!” So here you go:
Fat Bottomed Girls
Bum Dance Boogie
Spank me please
Flash Dance
Lovers Handle
Bodelicious
Moon Shadows
Big Spankable Asses 2: Drivin’ up the dirt road
Big Spankable Asses 2: Now with 50% more ass fat!
Not so big spankable asses: skinny chicks need smacks too
‘Can I has ur sex wee?’
Soft Round Thighs
What Lies Between
Curvilicious
Callipygian
Cheek to Cheek
Hidden Assets
Head to Toe
Head over Heels
Heel to Toe
Bottoms Up
Bountiful Booty
Zaftig Zone
Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’
Tie Me Down and Tame Me (to go with the BDSM theme)
Enormous, Droopy Asses (truth in advertising)
What What in the Butt?
Kensington Soft Porn
We (heart) Abuse
First thing that comes to mind…
Small Suckable Toes
-Lisa
Tiny Pinch-able Buttocks
Okay, I’ll admit, I can’t seem to dodge that EC groove.
* Hearts Aglow, Cheeks Aflame
* Spankin’ and Spunkin’
* Yours Is Bigger Than Mine (or vice versa)
* Glow Hole
* Slap Me Silly
* Liposuction Love
* Access Denied
* Cloak It and Stroke It
* Big, Gold-dripping Bladders
* Malformed, Suckable Toes
* Hernia Heaven
* My Cave or Yours?
* Shave Me Bald, Bubba
* Day Trippers & Nectar Drippers
* Shady Men With Large Penises
* BDSM This!
I could obviously go on for days. But I’m forcibly going to stop myself now, since nobody else is here to help me out.
Watch…I can do it.
Voluminous Derrieres
Copius Keisters
Big Spankable Asses 2: Spank This!
Hmm, that’s all I got.
Back to Booty
Bringing Spankable Back
Well, we’ve had asses, so it’s time to turn our attention to another female asset:
Large Smothering Titties
Bodacious Bukkake
Taught Ta-Tas and Tain’ts
Spank me, Bind me, Do me
Or, what we actually want ladies:
Average Sized but Dude, Can You WORK IT!
Peach Cheeks
Reaching for the Moon
Kiss and Make it Better
Aim Here
Moon Pie
Make Mine Pink
S.W.A.T. Me, Baby (“Swing Wide and Tight”)
Strike Two
I think it’s pretty clear I don’t know what’s going on here, but, hey, I’m game.
Spankable Asses Two: Vibrator Boogaloo
T & A & U
Howling at the Full Moon
These Aren’t Fake
These Ain’t Fake
(for readers south of the Mason-Dixon Line)
Big Asses That Would Really Prefer a Nice Massage With Scented Oil and Maybe Some Romantic Music in the Background
Hot Greasy Lovin’ in my Easy Bake Oven*
*Possible copyright infringement, but what the hell.
Burning Blushing Buns (ouch!)
Considerably Colossal Cocks (I’ll take one…or two)
Deliciously Delectable Derrieres
Needy Nubile Nipples
Voluptuous Virgin Vulvas (my fav.)
I absolutely adore alliteration. Can you tell?
I have nothing to offer but the title of an honest-and-for-true porn-video I once saw: COCKS THE SIZE OF THIS BOX.
OMG. I needed this tonight. But I’m at a loss for words after seeing…
Buckin For A Fuckin
Big Spankable Asses 2: Into the Breach (Breech?)
Big Spankable Asses 2: Bad Moon Rising
Sweet Savage Wet Spot