Dick full. My need? Bang her mum.

I love people who have way too much time in their hands. Some intrepid folks decided to transcribe a Dutch children’s song into English phonetics, and the result is…well, you have to check it out for yourself.

Video and sung words are completely work-safe. The subtitles? Not so much with the work safeness.

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  1. 1
    Carrie Lofty says:

    I have not actually cried from laughing in a very long time. You know—giggle, smile, chuckle. This was actual get-a-tissue tears. Thx.

  2. 2
    Sara says:

    Wow. Just… wow. I haven’t laughed that hard in ages!

  3. 3

    I am so deeply disturbed.
    And I can’t stop humming “…sit and fart in the duck…”

  4. 4
    Bonnie says:

    My 3 year-old daughter was sitting next to me clapping and laughing.  Thank God she can’t read!  I would really have to roll over and die laughing if she were to run around the house singing about farting in her duck.  The things she comes with all on her own are funny enough.  Thanks!!

  5. 5
    BS_radio says:

    I could not stop laughing. Thank you guys!

  6. 6
    shaina says:

    but what does it actually MEAN???

    i am going to go to bed with “go sit and fart in the duck” running through my head, thanks guys…

  7. 7

    For once maybe I won’t be sad that my internet connection isn’t quite good enough to enjoy the videos the way they are meant to be played. Having the Wiggles in my head most of the time is bad enough!!

  8. 8
    luckycanucky says:

    I’d seen a link to that a few weeks ago and found myself mesmerized by it. Talk about misheard lyrics..

  9. 9
    Cat Marsters says:

    Well, given that both prostitution and cannabis are legal in Holland, that’s probably what it does mean.

  10. 10
    Brianna says:

    *snort* My god that is funny! to me it does sound like what the subtitles say. I’d like to know what the song really is about.

  11. 11
    Nanna says:

    I appreciate teh funneh, but it’s neither a phonetic transcription nor a a translation. Compare:
    “Hij timmerde een uur of tien” to “I’ll take murder and ugh of ping”. Uur of tien vs. ugh of ping I understand. Hij timmerde vs. I take murder I do not.

    So…
    But sit and fart in the duck = Er zit een gat in mijn dak = There is a hole in my roof
    But sit and fart in my love = Same as above
    Dick full. My need? Bang her hard = Ik voel me niet op mijn gemak = I don’t feel comfortable
    Distort that tart in my tub = ‘t Is door dat gat in mijn dak = Because of that hole in my roof

    Oh, and by the way, this is Flemish. It’s a type of Dutch, but even Dutch people find it hard to understand at times. It’s why Flemish shows are subtitles in The Netherlands, and Dutch shows are subtitled in Flanders.

    *takes bow*

  12. 12
    Nanna says:

    Oh, and cannabis? Not *quite* legal, but getting into that maze of warped thinking here would take a lot of time.
    But our regular prositutes (not street hookers) DO pay taxes. What’s not to love?

  13. 13
    Goblin says:

    Yay, Nanna!!

    Thank you! *curtseys*

  14. 14
    Castiron says:

    Yep, my Flemish ex watched this and was somewhat bemused by some of the captions,  though he found the “dribbles” line less of a stretch than some of the others, as the actual translation would be something like “I felt the dribbles on my head” (no, the OTHER head).

    The whole thing is very innocuous and innocent—in Flemish. Though one might question the giant nut falling in through the hole….

    (Enough41.  When I’ve played this 41 times, I’ll be screaming “enough!”)

  15. 15
    Castiron says:

    Out of curiosity, Nanna, do you have any idea what the original show would be?

  16. 16
    Nanna says:

    The clip is from a show called Kabouter Plop. Kabouter = Dwarf/Gnome
    I’ve never been a fan. Then again, I probably first saw it when I was 12 or so. But my baby sister didn’t like it either. I find it… quite infantile. One of the songs (de Kabouterdans, I’m sure you can find it on YouTube) was a BIG HIT among students though.

  17. 17
    Mette says:

    I will go around humming that now… Perhaps also sing it. :S

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