A Year of Vampires: The Haiku Contest

Vampire haiku:
It’s like man-titty haiku
with sharper nipples.

I have dragged author Jennifer Rardin over to this here site, probably kicking and screaming but it’s virtual so maybe she’s got a big flamethrower aimed at me or something, in order to announce a really kickass contest. Originally I suggested that I’d give away a shiny new copy of Once Bitten, Twice Shy since I have two, but then Alex, Jennifer’s publicist, sweetened the pot and said, ‘How about a Year of Vampires?’ And I exploded with jealousy and said, ‘Hell yeah!’

Here’s the deal: in the comments to this entry today until 4:00 pm Pacific Time, post a haiku (up to two 5-7-5 stanzas, please) of your own creation about vampire heroes. Hate them? Love them? Feel the need for raunchy vamp haiku? Bring it on, and post it here.

Jennifer will judge the best one, and Orbit books will send that lucky winner A Year of Vampires – every book in Rardin’s series as they come out for the next year. That would be Once Bitten, Twice Shy, which is out now, Another One Bites the Dust, which comes out in December, and Biting the Bullet , which comes out in February of 2008. The Jaz Parks series is a five-book series, so the last two would be part of the deal as well. Not bad, eh?

So – bring it on! Post your poetic tributes to the vampire hero here, and Jennifer will be judging your creative efforts.

Thanks and graceful curtsies to Alex Lencicki, Orbit Books, Jennifer Rardin, and vampire heroes for being every-damn-where.

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Vix626 says:

    Vampries have parts
    That are long and very white
    And I don’t mean teeth

  2. 2
    smartass bitchipants says:

    I am a vampire
    My big part is not so white
    You want to taste it?

  3. 3

    Stop staring at
    That juicy young thing and
    Bite me already

    Undead you may be
    But I bet I have enough
    Blood for both of us

  4. 4
    SamG says:

    A vampire bites me
    I come twice as he does it
    Come back, I have more

    Damn, now I’m one too
    I want a man titty slave
    Where shall I bite him?

  5. 5
    Gwynnyd says:

    Fiends? Fangs nibble necks
    Head turned, long soft throat exposed
    Skin broken to bliss

    Friends?  Futile struggle
    Hot, vile eyes gloat as blood drains
    A sneer, mocking life

    Gwynnyd

  6. 6
    djh says:

    Bite me in moonlight
    Sorry I just ate garlic
    To bad hungry again

  7. 7
    HeatherK says:

    Fangs erupt
    In carnal anticipation
    Eternal embrace

    ~ * ~

    Joined as one
    Two souls collide
    Crimson ties

  8. 8
    Cori says:

    “Come get bit!” they said
    Endless sex, days free for soaps
    Plus no morning breath.

    Hickies getting bad
    Anemia as STD?
    Damn your eyes, Anne Rice.

  9. 9
    Teddy Pig says:

    Must think emo… Dark Dark, I call upon the power of Goth… yes! yes! Black Lipstick! I feel like Robert Smith! Fassssscccccinaaaaation Streeeeeet…

    Dark lovers passion
    Fangs pierce deep into my soul
    All is fading now

  10. 10
    smartass bitchipants says:

    so sick of vampires
    i just might puke puke puke puke
    i just want to puke

    ~~~
    (all the same, teddy’s poem is beautiful…)

  11. 11
    Amy says:

    Spikey Fangs
    Ripped abs and hard cocks
    Suck what?

  12. 12
    Sarah Frantz says:

    Big bad vampire males
    Angsty emo tears, oh my!
    Gotta love ‘em, true?

  13. 13
    Teddy Pig says:

    LKH no more
    Remember Anita Blake
    The sound of sucking

  14. 14
    Kaite says:

    I’m horrible with Haiku, but here are my efforts:

    Blood all around me,
    Waiting for sweet surrender
    I lie in his arms.

    **********

    Vampire lover boy—
    Anita Blake, who’s that b*tch?
    Forget her, take me!

  15. 15
    Rachel B. says:

    Oh, golly! What a field of contenders! Let’s see. . .

    Stalking silly girls
    In darkness, ending their lives
    I miss eating fruit

    Should have worked out more
    Now deathless and eternal
    doughy midsection

  16. 16
    Chelsea says:

    Sex with the undead
    Makes for pleasure all night long
    And tastes like iron

  17. 17

    Vampire mantitty
    Cold white flesh makes me quiver
    Like type A? Bite me!

  18. 18
    Stephanie says:

    You bit me, so hot
    Now we’re bound—eternally
    Fuckity fuck fuck

    You kiss my bite, baby
    Now let’s go find some dinner
    Tasty tots, perhaps?

  19. 19
    lisabea says:

    Hard drinking lover
    with sharp pointy teeth and black
    leather pants, you dig?

  20. 20
    scigirl2525 says:

    My neck he doth prick
    But I am juicy elsewhere
    Come, I want some dick!

  21. 21
    Jaci Burton says:

    Picky about vamps
    Before I sink into them
    They gotta have teeth

  22. 22
    Jackie says:

    What I want to know
    Is when the vampire men
    Said “Emo is cool”?

    If my bloodsucker
    Always cries more than I do,
    Pass me the garlic.

  23. 23
    Sam says:

    Immortal villian
    Bite clouds your mind with darkness
    Blood drips down neck

  24. 24
    Invisigoth says:

    Fingers entwined and
    Legs wrapped ‘round your waist.  Teeth at
    Your throat.  Impale me!

  25. 25
    Jackie says:

    ((Can we post more than one entry? If so…))

    The sexy male vamp
    Falls for the all-powerful
    Magic va-jay-jay.

    Much sexxin’ ensues
    The blood and man-juice are thick:
    All hail the true mate!

  26. 26
    Carrie Lofty says:

    My vampire lover,
    Afraid I’ll never see you—
    I work the day shift.

  27. 27
    Angelina says:

    ok my poetry sucks (lol)!

    Darkness falls, I wait
    My vampire will soon be here
    I can has hickey?

  28. 28
    Vix626 says:

    I’ve got another one, a series even.

    Cheer up emo kid
    Fake vampire fangs aren’t cool
    Real deal is better

    Black clothes and make-up
    Do not make you a vampire
    You must be undead

    The angst and dark pain
    Is a very good start though
    Next step, blood sucking

    I like this game.

  29. 29
    Stephanie says:

    Dracula, Jean-Claude
    Edward, Vayl, Nick Knight, Kisten—
    All are sexy beasts.

  30. 30
    Cathy in AK says:

    Oh, blood sucking man
    Your angst is a real downer
    Please, go get some sun

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