Vampires, Skinny Women, Buxom Women, and a Big Belt Buckle

I received a PR notice about a new CBS Show called “Moonlight”, which, according to the release, is about “Mick St. John (Alex O’Loughlin), a captivating, charming and immortal private investigator from Los Angeles who defies the traditional blood-sucking norms of his vampire tendencies by using his wit and powerful supernatural abilities to help the living.”

Check out the publicity photo and let’s count the verbal and visual vampire clichés as I assign random point values to each!

1 pt: “Saint X” in the last name of the hero – subtle reinforcement of heroic character!

2 pts: crossing vampire with private investigator to come up with angsty secretive reinforcement of heroic character! As my television guru says, it’s Angel plus additional Law & Order angst and drama – it’s Law & Order: Vampire Unit with, I suspect, emphasis on the vampire’s unit.

10000000 pts: That looks suspiciously like a MULLET! On PRIME TIME! I think I have to go lie down from the overwhelming awesomeness.

3 pts: Wayne Newton belt buckle – subtle reinforcement of… I have no idea.

2 pts: Extremely skinny woman in skin-tight dress showing off the fact that if she turns to the side, you can barely see her. Subtle reinforcement of unattainable body image for women. Mortal women.

3 pts: Additional skinny yet supremely buxom woman with unflattering wide-legged pants and anorak – to contrast with extremely skinny woman. Subtle reinforcement of L.L. Bean attire as unflattering fashion choice? (Does L.L. Bean sell silver anoraks?)

4 pts: Can we talk some more about St. Hero’s attire? Black shirt, black jacket, black pants, silver sparkly belt buckle? He’s like a superhero… IN HIS PANTS.

3 pts: Completely nondescript male sidekick.

1 pt: Sidekick’s shirt is too tight.

1 pt: Sidekick’s pants are too long.

3 pts: Nice placemen of big silver phallus emerging from St. Angst Superhero’s tushy, eh? Subtle reinforcement of gay subtext? I can only hope so!

 

 

Comments are Closed

  1. CMc says:

    I hadn’t thought of Forever Knight in years – a show where Toronto plays itself!

    I looked it up on Wikipedia to jog my memory (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forever_Knight) and discovered that it’s been released on DVD.  I don’t know how to insert photos here but OMG, cheesiest covers ever!  Which is weird given that the photo of the show on Wiki is so cool.  (Do a Google Images search to see the pictures).

  2. Yvonne says:

    *sigh*
    I still love Rick Springfield.
    *sigh*

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Oh, great.  Now I am going to be forced to pronounce his name as Sinjun by that obsession I have (which I think has its roots in a Louisa May Alcott book) and no one I know will have any idea who I am talking about.

    Ah, yes.  Sinjin.  Or, sometimes in Elswyth Thane books, Sinjie.  I love the name, but none of my friends can ever figure out how one gets THAT pronounciation from THAT spelling.

  4. Elizabeth says:

    You’re right, they are really short. I was just about to comment that it looked like a weird hobbit vampire show.

  5. vicki says:

    Now I’ll have to watch it just to see Logan again!
    Apparently the hero is 6’ 1”, and I agree JC Wilder, that hair is very Bee Gees!
    How on earth did they manage to make such good looking people look so awful?

  6. DS says:

    Had to post this.  I watched it and did a quick consensus of people I know who watched it.  Unless it perks up we unanimously gave it 3 more episodes.  The surprise twist was telegraphed way too hard and the characters were cream cheese bland. 

    One friend had a theory that they shot a bunch of scenes without any coherent world building then tried to piece them into a story.  Did wonder why early in the show he had to inject the blood.  Did I miss something?

  7. Melissa says:

    I have to agree with DS.  I watched the show last night while chatting via MSN with a good friend.  We both give it about 3-4 more episodes before being yanked.

    I saw parts taken from Forever Knight (both series and original movie), Angel, and even the movie Sin City.

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