Touring Puerto Rico, Smart Bitch Style

Bitchery Reader Josefina took a long walk in San Juan, and came across some fine specimens of international man-titty in the health supplement store, plus a special extra “WTF” picture as a bonus.


Ah, yes. “Arabian Formula.” It gives you more energy, more potency, and really tight jeans, a turban, and a half naked woman grasping your kneecap.

It’s like a jihad… IN YOUR PANTS!


If you’ve got giant quadriceps, a bikini-clad chipmunk-woman with a tail, and the continuing bother of being chased through the surf by tigers, you need “Energizer Extract.” And also a movie deal.

Note: it’s for adults AND childrens! And it’s manufactured by “Alopecil Corporation.” That’s alarmingly close to “alopecia.” Let’s hope there’s no relation.


This is Josefina. And if your Spanish isn’t as facile as hers, she’s here to tell you that this book? The one she’s holding?

Messages from Princess Diana from the Fourth Dimension. Apparently, judging from the cover art, Princess Diana is communicating with Arianna Huffington. No wonder Josefina looks confused!

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Teddypig says:

    “Messages from Princess Diana from the Fourth Dimension.”

    I love old San Juan!

    I know this really cool abstract artist who has his studio there.

    Go visit El Yunque National Forest, the only tropical rain forest in the U.S. National Forest system.

  2. 2
    Rinda says:

    Ah ha!  I knew there had to be some warped inspiration for this movie.

    There you go Sarah, another movie for your list.

  3. 3
    Teddypig says:

    Oh anyone seen this yet?

    Meet The Missionary

    A Mormon Mantitty Calendar.

  4. 4
    Randi says:

    Teddypig, thank you for the Mormon nekkediness. It will always make me see them in a different light, now. I think Matthew was my favorite!


  5. 5
    Alyssa says:

    “No premarital sex”

    Oh the horror!  I can look but I can’t touch? *pout*

  6. 6
    Sandra D says:

    Whoa, was that mormons exposed or mormon sex posed? Took me a few minutes to figure out to hover to find the shirtless pics, then I seriously had to debate over if they were the same guys or not lol. Dang.

  7. 7
    Dragonette says:

    shoot. foiled again by websense.

  8. 8
    plaatsch says:

    Woah. Gimme some of that Arabian Formula.

    And the Mormons? Um, dude. You forgot to pack your temple garments. Kinda forgot the part about the modesty thang, eh? It will make me look a bit differently at the Mormon mission guys who ride their bikes past here all the time in pairs (matching clothes – long black pants and ties even in 105 degree weather – matching bikes, matching helmets).

  9. 9
    Teddy Pig says:

    matching Mormon mantitty?

    I think that deserves to be checked out.

  10. 10

    So that’s why us Latinos are having more kids than any other ethnic group!

    Thanks for the pictures!


  11. 11
    plainjane says:

    Rinda, I clicked on the link for that movie—holy crap!

    “Horny cavemen compete for the sexual attentions of a stunning cavewoman who happens to possess a tail.”

    Reading that almost made me snort my water out of my nose!  Who could pass up a movie with a description like that?

  12. 12
    Rinda says:

    Plainjane, my husband couldn’t.  That was back in his “how to pick the right movie” training days. 

    Gotta love that cover, eh?

  13. 13

    It’s like a jihad… IN YOUR PANTS!

  14. 14
    Tracy says:

    Oh my goodness!! The next time a Mormon missionary comes to my house I’ll be tempted to got get my mouse and wave it around in front of him to see if his shirt disappears! LOL

  15. 15
    Rachel B. says:

    I think I peed myself. My face hurts from all that laughing.

  16. 16
    Karmyn says:

    I knew there was more to Puerto Rico then Progress Island USA would show. Or maybe promoting mantitty is not a good way to increase tourism.

  17. 17
    Nancy Beck says:

    First pic:  Ooo, and lookie where Half-Nekkid-Woman is looking. ;-)

    Second pic: Looks like Lobster Man to me.

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