SNORT

From the possibility of LOLHarlequinSecrets to the absurdity of that Fabio shoulder-blade-humping cover rearing its hot-ironed head yet again (I love that cover – he looks so studious and yet so bad as a brunette) this Gawker item has it all – particularly the milquetoast excerpts from the Harlequin Romance Report confessional.

That is some tame confession, y’all. Why is a publisher hosting sexual confessionals? I don’t get it. To be honest, the “Tee hee hee!” whispering-naughty-stories attitude of that page ticks me off a bit because it seems so very juvenile. And round these parts, we’re not ashamed of reading romance or sexually explicit stories, or of our own status as sexual beings – and we’re not ashamed of much else that I can tell, either. I will say this: I have never joined the mile high club because the idea of touching any surface beyond what is minimally necessary in an airplane lavatory gives me a major case of the squicks like DAMN.

 

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  1. 1

    So far that cover is the most interesting bit. Looks a bit like he’s about to take her in the ear!

  2. 2
    Wry Hag says:

    Do you have any idea how much junior-high-schoolish fun the Bitchery could have posting “confessions” on this site?  Come on, let’s do it!  Dare ya!  Double dare ya!

    On my last vacation in Oceanside, I swam with a merman whose schlong was so freakin’ big I cut to cut myself just to draw a Great White or three to chomp the mofo down to manageable size.  But guess what?  He had a freakin’ SPARE!  Whoa.

  3. 3
    Elizabeth says:

    I will say this: I have never joined the mile high club because the idea of touching any surface beyond what is minimally necessary in an airplane lavatory gives me a major case of the squicks like DAMN.

    That sort of thing is really big in the movies, but I’ve always thought that it sounded gross: not only are airplane lavatories filthy, but I have major claustrophobia. *shudders at the thought of trying to fit two people into one of those tiny things*

  4. 4
    Ishie says:

    Fortunately, for those sanitary mile-highers, there are now private planes that do runs that offer spiffier spaces in which to join the club…  Seems like an expensive way to get motion sick though.

    Can’t say the regular old coach class hookup in the airplane bathroom ever had any appeal.  I don’t particularly like using them by myself, and unless you weren’t sitting next to your partner, it’s hard to imagine anyone wouldn’t know what you were “up” to.

  5. 5
    MZ says:

    You have got to be kidding me…I’d like to know who is the marketing genious who came up with this idea…

  6. 6
    DS says:

    You would have at least thought they would have tapped some of their writers’ imaginations to “prime the pump” on that page.  Who hasn’t joined in a group conversation (usually lubricated by alcohol) about sexploits?  A librarian once told me a story involving a bottle of Ban roll-on deodorant that had me both rolling on the floor laughing and goggle eyed.  (That combination is harder than you might think.)

  7. 7

    I was actually thinking that the marketing genius that thought this up 1) was the ninny who was trying to get things going with those wimpy “confessions” and 2) along the lines of wry-hag’s suggestions, be careful what you wish for when some REALLY HOT confessions start rolling in.

    Wonder how long that site will last?

  8. 8
    Lorelie says:

    Dude, we should totally go crash the party over there and post some really insane “confessions.”  Um, no, wait that’d be juvenile. . . wouldn’t it? 

    And “Mah membir.  Is throb.” made me giggle.

  9. 9
    Jen C says:

    Ew.  The only way I am having sex on a plane is if I get my own private plane with bed installed.  And even then- eh, I can wait till we land.

  10. 10
    kate r says:

    You want real confessions, pages and pages of whining:
    http://truewifeconfessions.blogspot.com/

    True confession: #2092 about the dog is mine. I could have put it on the front page of my own blog—My husband doesn’t do the blogz so he’ll never know. heh.

  11. 11
    Ann Bruce says:

    I have never joined the mile high club because the idea of touching any surface beyond what is minimally necessary in an airplane lavatory gives me a major case of the squicks like DAMN.

    Eh-hmm.  You can also join the mile-high club if you stay at the hotel on top of Mount Pilatus in Lucerne, Switzerland.

  12. 12
    kate r says:

    I thought the mile high thing only counted when you screwed in a cramped uncomfortable space and people were pounding on the door demanding to use the toilet. You have to risk arrest for it to be worthwhile, people!

  13. 13
    Miri says:

    Sorry. I’m with the article. Blow jobs? Mile high? Slutty double dipping? Yawn.  Think it would be just awesome if we go on and get all Nancy Friday all over them

    Wanna have your mind blown and your heart clench? go here:
    http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

  14. 14

    Since I have hips and bootie, screwing in an airport bathroom just really wouldn’t be much fun.

    As for confessing sex secrets to Harlequin?  Eh.  They don’t give us enough fodder for the fire, in my opinion.

  15. 15
    dl says:

    Spinsterwitch…I’ll second that harlequin opinion.

    200% dittos on airplane lavatories, germs, lack of space, thin walls…ick.

  16. 16
    dl says:

    Confessions or fantasy?  Sitara confesses to sucking off her date on a dance floor in Seattle during Mardi Gras.  Honey, Seattle has many celebrations, but Mardi Gras isn’t one of them.

  17. 17

    I’ve been in too many airplane bathrooms to find them at all sex inspiring….

  18. 18
    Jen says:

    By the time I got over there, it looked like there were some pump-primers.  Whole thing to me reads like some marketing effort to drum up interest in an upcoming release.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see a Spice release, or some sort of continuity coming soon revolving around a “true confessions” internet board host and a poster.  Or an FBI agent investigating.  Or a couple discovering each other’s indiscretions through the same blog site and getting hot over it.

    Not that I don’t want to go over there and post some hentai stuff.  I do love the little disclaimer at the bottom:

    “Inappropriate posts will be removed” – d00d—it’s a sex confessionals site, let’s think about this here.

    And airplane bathroom sex—not as long as men fly on airplanes.  The ones in my household have bad enough aim perfectly still and on the ground in full size bathrooms. I think about men, closets, and turbulence, and I’ll hold it all the way across the damn Atlantic if I have to.

  19. 19
    Strategerie says:

    Seattle celebrates Fat Tuesday instead of Mardi Gras.

    In the meantime, I couldn’t drag myself away from the Wife Confessions. They were much more interesting.

    -S

  20. 20
    Charlene says:

    I thought the mile-high thing had to happen in an aircraft. If not, the populations of many fine North American cities would qualify en masse.

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