Does your Volvo Smell Like Vulva?

Bitchery reader Jane M. sent me this jaw-dropping link to Vulva perfume. WARNNG – COMPLETELY NOT WORK SAFE LIKE OMG DAMN.

Sayeth “[the] hair-raising product is not a perfume for the va-jay-jay, it is an erotic fragrance made to trigger sexual attraction and desire by mimicking the tangy aroma of lady muffin!”

The site itself, as Jane M. points out, says, “This is not a perfume.  It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure.”

I showed the site to Hubby, who said, “DUDE!” No, definitely not a dude, dear.

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Ann Bruce says:

    Remember all those sex passages in romance books about the hero going down on the heroine and thinking that he’d love to bottle her scent and carry it around with him all day (Small?  Henley?).  Well, someone actually took them seriously!

    Frankly, I’d sooner try Cumming than Vulva.

  2. 2
    Ann Bruce says:

    And, um, how did they manufacture that scent?  I’m hoping it WAS manufactured and not created…naturally, shall I say.

  3. 3
    Kaz Augustin says:

    Not a bad price. EUR19,90 per bottle. But the t-shirt’s a riot!

  4. 4
    MaryKate says:

    Also by the manufacturers of Vulva…Cootchie.

    The stench of that trashy ho you beergoggled on Friday night.

  5. 5
    AmandaG says:

    Good lord, there is a pic of her sitting on a toilet, with a bidet next to her.  That’s some more kind of sexy, I tell you what. lol

  6. 6
    Carrie Lofty says:

    Ok, so if it’s really an organic substance, wouldn’t it have an expiration date. Like milk? Or eggs? Would they have different customs forms for shipping internationally? And can we have pictures of the factory where it’s made—I mean, how is it harvested?

    Those women make the chicks from the Robert Palmer videos look animated. Hell, they make Realdolls look animated.

  7. 7
    aggiedoone says:

    Would it kill her to smile?  She must have really bad teeth :)

  8. 8
    Charity Mullen says:

    Am I crazy or have you posted this before?  I’ve seen this before and I’m pretty sure it was here.

  9. 9
    iffygenia says:

    Am I crazy or have you posted this before?  I’ve seen this before and I’m pretty sure it was here.

    I think so too, but I can’t find it.  Maybe I’m confusing it with this?

  10. 10
    Kaitlin says:

    Wow!  All I can think of to say is that the blondish chick looks kinda constipated.  Doesn’t know how to smile at all!  Those pics were…um…huh…  :)

  11. 11

    Yes, I’ve seen this here once before and I’m still not convinced!!

  12. 12
    lydia says:

    Wow. That’s… astonishing. I mean, I have tried those pheromone perfumes (which, btw, seem to sort of work). But, dude… I don’t want to smell like pussy all day. I HAVE one, and I find it is more than enough, lol.

  13. 13
    Nora Roberts says:

    Eau de pussy? Just eeeuuww.

  14. 14

    The ads remind me of that godawful Eyes Wide Shut movie. All that nudity and fucking and it was one of the least erotic movies I’ve ever seen.

    I thought you had to have Tom Cruise to take the eroticisim out of nekkidness. Neat trick.

  15. 15

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one who remembers seeing this before. For a minute I thought I was insane.

    And you know what? Still gross.

  16. 16
    double h says:

    So, it’s only 19,90 Euro??  Guess that makes it smell like a cheap vagina??

  17. 17
    Dragonette says:

    I love the response “Unhinged” posted at TMZ:

    “Fine and then I can maybe find the new perfume for women called Umpire.  It smells like foul balls.”


  18. 18
    Deb says:

    Crap.  I’m not only at work but I’m at a public service desk at the moment.  Will have to wait until I’m back in my office to check this out.

    Because the very idea?  Euewww. 

    I mean, I understand pheromones and stuff but do I really need a perfume that smells like Down There?  Hopefully, it’s Down There on a *good* day and not a “I feel less than fresh” day.

  19. 19
    Cat says:

    ummm- if I was going to put pussy smell on my hand, I would just use my own!  I mean, who wants their guy sniffing someone else’s juice to get a boner?  then like, what?  he gets to MY pussy and loses his wood?  Sheesh!  Another unbelievably idiotic marketing ploy thought up by stupid men, aimed at stupid women.

    PS:  I LIKE the smell of my own cootchie, but please leave factory farmed cootchies at home.  (And that begs the questions, are they humanely raised?  Free range?  treated well??  hahahah)

  20. 20
    Miri says:

    The site reminds me of that creepy baking site link a couple of monthes ago!
    And I hate to tell the makers of this stuff… humans respond to scent in a very specific way, the smell of one’s OWN woman/man will stimulate but not necessarily the smell of ANY woman/man.

  21. 21
    Randi says:

    OK: 1) who’s the creepy Dr. Evil dude? He scares me. 2) Hey look! real boobs. You know it’s European when they have real breasteses. Amen to that, cootchie sellers. 3) Are they marketing to Lesbians or Hetero men? Oh! maybe both. They are multi-marketing. Smart. Saves money.

    *when I first tried to comment, I got a word that suggested the ladies were free-range and of age. It didn’t go thru and now my second word is not nearly as witty. *grumbles*

  22. 22
    Pussy Power says:

    I told my boyfriend about this and his response was ‘but I love going to sleep smelling pussy!’. He could see the appeal, spraying it on a pillow or whatever. My response was the reason you like going to sleep smelling the va-jay-jay is because you were just all up in it.

  23. 23

    Check this out.

    Woman 1: Smells like fresh vagina in here.
    Woman 2: Excuse me?
    Woman 1: I said it smells like vagina in here.
    Woman 2: Are you talking about my vagina?
    Woman 1 (slyly): Maybe.

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