Best. Ad. EVER.

Holy crap! A completely safe-for-work ad for a porn channel!

I didn’t think those sorts of things needed ads. But oh my God, this is brilliant.

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  1. 1
    Alessia Brio says:

    BWAH! I catch something new each time I watch it.

    *snort* Sanchez *snort*

  2. 2

    Hey Ron.
    Hi Jeremy.

    (snort)

    The best thing about it is that everyone is so NICE in the ad… just so pleasant and innocuous and NICE…

  3. 3
    Candy says:

    I know! I’m trying to list all the things I noticed. So:

    Choking the chicken
    Going up the dirt track
    Muddy fist
    Donkey punching
    A wet bitch? Video’s a bit too blurry for me to make out what sort of animal is in the tub
    Cream pie (I can’t catch what that woman is saying right before he says that)
    Back door
    Teabagging
    Hand shandy
    Pig poker
    Head
    Beef curtains
    Brown ball in the corner pocket
    Sixty-nine
    Dirty Sanchez (it would’ve been perfect if he’d been carrying out a hot lunch instead of what looked like a sandwich)
    Meat sandwich
    Ron Jeremy
    Playing/blowing on the rusty trombone

    Now, if they’d somehow fit in a Cleveland Steamer, I would’ve REALLY been impressed.

  4. 4

    OMG, I’m soooooooo naive! (hanging head)  I can’t believe I didn’t get Ron Jeremy.

  5. 5
    Soni says:

    Ah, well, let’s not forget:

    Spit roast (double penetration) – that’s what the lady’s offering him on the way in.

    Tradesman’s entrance (that would be the back door for us yanks)

    Docking space stations (a more visual than verbal innuendo)

    The stuffed animal is swallowing a sword, I think.

    The pool player missed the pink and hit the brown.

    Meat sandwich

    I did see someone painting the place red, but it may have another connotation in the clip. Ah, yes – a quick jaunt over to the slang dictionary offers up “having the painters in,” which refers to that time of the month, the red paint driving the metaphor home. Interesting.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    DebR says:

    According to the Urban Dictionary “wet dog in a tub” is when you try to insert both testicles into your partner’s anus. I knew that image had to stand for something, but I had to look it up…never heard of that phrase before! See…it’s an educational video. :-)

  8. 8
    DebR says:

    Oh, another one I don’t think has been mentioned is the bar the guy goes to is called “Bell End” (‘nother word for Head).

  9. 9
    Teddypig says:

    Learn several new things everyday.

  10. 10
    Cori says:

    I believe the reference with the pig on the wall would be the infamous “pork sword.” Awesome commercial.

  11. 11
    Jen C says:

    “insert both testicles into your partner’s anus”

    Wait, people do that?  That has never, ever, ever happened in any of my romance novels, or, for that matter, my butt.

  12. 12
    Anna says:

    Wow.  That is brilliant.  The entire commercial falls under the heading of “don’t worry, folks.  The kids don’t get it.  And if they do, it’s not my fault.”

  13. 13
    Cat Marsters says:

    Love it!  I’m even learning new things.

  14. 14
    taybug says:

    Damn, I only got a few of those! The Canadian commercial that started with the woman in the golden shower had way more references that I understood. It’s time to start traveling again so I can learn more sex slang ‘round the globe!

  15. 15
    Kaz Augustin says:

    I am sooo naive it’s frightening. I think I only got (literally) 2 or 3 of these.

    To make up for my obvious lack of education, may I offer up in compensation LOLCTHULHU. Yes, the Elder Gods meet LOLCats. Please direct your browsers to:

    http://lolthulhu.com/

    Mutatin Ur Villagers! Mwahahahahaha

  16. 16
    DS says:

    Loved the video but loved the lolthulhu more.  Thanks both.

  17. 17
    SB Sarah says:

    DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT IT HURTS TO LAUGH!

    DAMN YOU CANDY!

    OWWWWWWWWWW!

  18. 18
    Michele says:

    Absolutely frickin’ hilarious! Caught quite a few of the naughty references but it is an extremely clever ad and well done.

  19. 19

    Am I the only one who totally didn’t get half of these?!  Thank you so much for the explanations on the comments.  I’m still going to have to look up a bunch of these.

    I think the shuttle docking was the only one I was sure of!  LOL!  I am soooo old.

  20. 20

    Am I the only one who totally didn’t get half of these?!  Thank you so much for the explanations on the comments.  I’m still going to have to look up a bunch of these.

    I think the shuttle docking was the only one I was sure of!  LOL!  I am soooo old.

  21. 21
    --E says:

    I’m astounded at how many I didn’t know. I could figure a lot from context, but clearly the Aussies are ahead of the Americans in the sexual metaphor slang department.

  22. 22
    monimala says:

    Okay, the commercial made me laugh, though I only got half the references and just learned the other half from the comments here.

    But the real LOL came from Jen C:
    Wait, people do that?  That has never, ever, ever happened in any of my romance novels, or, for that matter, my butt.

    BWAHAHAHA.

  23. 23
    Trix says:

    ARGH!

    @—E – this is a kiwi ad. The Aussies are too busy playing monkey-see-monkey-do with retrograde social mores at present (not mentioning other countries around here in particular!) to show that kind of thing. NZ used to be well behind Oz with social liberality, but that has certainly changed.

    Also, a “map of Tassie” (female anatomy) behind the pool table, and a poster of “Tony Danza” (stupid one).

    [ball55 - I’d be exhaused!]

  24. 24
    Keziah Hill says:

    ARGH!

    @—E – this is a kiwi ad. The Aussies are too busy playing monkey-see-monkey-do with retrograde social mores at present (not mentioning other countries around here in particular!) to show that kind of thing. NZ used to be well behind Oz with social liberality, but that has certainly changed.
    Sad but true. We’re having a General Election soon (if our conservative Prime Minister ever announces it) so maybe that will change. Please, please make it change!

  25. 25
    Kaite says:

    I realized when they had some sort of sly allusion going on—had no idea what they meant, by and large, but I saw the winks.

    I really need to read up on some of the more amusing slang terms out there….

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