Carrot Top: by Poser?

Question to ponder: Witness this picture of Carrot Top. Yes, I should apologize for asking you to LOOK directly AT the Carrot Top, so I shall: I am most humbly sorry. But I do have a question.

Examine his shoulders.

Was he perhaps drawn by Poser?


If you were anyone, which you probably are but how would I know, you would be best to Fear Rinda Elliott.

Seriously. Fear her. Big time. Huge amounts of fear should be ladled like ice water on her doorstep. Because this woman has gone out in search of photographic proof that perhaps the Carrot Top By Poser pics on GFY were Photoshopped (AND Posered?! What is the world coming to with these ignominious suspicions?).

Alas, Ms. Elliott found pictorial proof that (a) the shoulders are real, (b) they are disturbing, (c) Carrot Top needs to pull up his pants, and (d) I can see his razor burn.

Don’t thank me. I can hear the screams of horror, and those are thanks enough.




General Bitching...

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    darlynne says:

    Anything is possible in the world of Photoshop, and I’m so lame I don’t know anything about Poser. BUT, have seen the guy in person and he is of the big shoulders and muscles. Go figure.

  2. 2
    Kathleen says:

    Not so much “drawn by” as “embodies the soul-sucking evil of Poser.”  I can’t wait until his freckles reach critical mass and suck him into a black hole, much like his career.

  3. 3
    Jay in Oregon says:

    Mommy, save me from the scary man’s shoulders!

    (A FrankenTop, perhaps?)

  4. 4
    Sallyacious says:

    I’ve seen that picture several times now and I keep asking the same questions: Does he think that’s attractive? How the hell is it healthy? and Is that the only shirt he owns?

  5. 5

    Get it off me! GET IT OFF ME!

    Sarah, you shall pay for this.

  6. 6
    Tessa says:

    Oh lord.  I hate to use my first ever comment on this site for this, but… AAAAAAAHHHHH!  Why, god, why?  Clearly we must incinerate it before it spawns. o.O

  7. 7
    sanachan1 says:

    I saw that when they first posted it, and all I could think was “Fuck man-pris, what the HELL is wrong with his shoulders?!” They are deeply, deeply freaky. Obviously all those deformed Poser covers we’ve been looking at used Carrot Top as their model. It explains soooo much.

  8. 8
    rebyj says:

    i didnt notice his shoulders, i was too blinded by his key chain holder LOL
    is that a carrot in his pants?

  9. 9
    kis says:

    My daughter looked like that for three days after her meningitis and hep B vaccinations. She couldn’t even hold a pen.

    Bleh. Even though I Xed the picture, it’s still there in my cerebral cortex. Too bad you can’t gouge out your mind’s eye…

    My spaminator is arms22. How’s that for apt?

  10. 10
    Bailey says:

    I’m sorry, but those shoulders really look like growths that he should have surgically removed.

    My eyes! My eyes!

  11. 11
    Kalen Hughes says:

    When mantitty goes wrong . . .

  12. 12
    azteclady says:

    That… whatever it is on his left shoulder, looks like an EXTREME allergic reaction to a bee or wasp sting. I mean, the right shoulder is weird, but the left? Way weirdER.

    Oh, and… is he wearing eyeliner?

  13. 13
    Jaci Burton says:

    Himplants, maybe?

  14. 14
    Teddy Pig says:

    Himplants! *SNAP* Oh you go Jaci.

  15. 15
    Rinda says:


  16. 16
    Mel-O-Drama says:

    MY EYES! MY EYES! And when I close my eyes, the image is burned into my brain. Must poke out my Mind’s Eye Now!

  17. 17
    Najida says:

    what IS wrong with his shoulders?

    I mean, maybe I’ve been around too many BB types, but they look pretty normal for power lifting types….so OK, I’m supposed to laugh?

    Now his FACE, looks odd.

  18. 18
    Rinda says:

    I think it was just the angle of that first image. ;)

  19. 19
    Marta Acosta says:

    1) Why doesn’t anyone ever mention all the makeeye and eyeliner that this freak wears?

    2)  I officially hate you for making me look at those pictures.  I’d write more about the terrible things you do to your readers, but I’ve got to rush off to the emergency electroshock treatments I just scheduled.

  20. 20
    marta acosta says:

    Corrected to say:  “eye makeup” not “makeeye.”  Geez, THAT’s how distraught I am.

  21. 21
    Nora Roberts says:

    Damn you, Smart Bitches.

    Damn you.

  22. 22
    Stephanie says:

    I once ran into Carrot Top at a Manhattan gym just before my yoga class and I can say with authority: dude has tattooed eyeliner. Freaky.

  23. 23
    Bella says:

    Sarah, you Bitch. I was eating.

  24. 24
    Bella says:

    We can call it the Carrot Top diet. One look, and you’ll go off food for minimum of 2 hours.*

    * Side effects include nausea, diarrhea and burning eyes.


    (ohhhh, the irony. verword: arms93)

  25. 25
    SandyO says:

    Damn it, I just lost my lunch.

  26. 26
    Beth says:

    Sadly, that may well be real and not a Poser/PhotoShop creation.  He may have decided to bulk up.

    And, I have pictures of Gene Simmons from a recent KISS concert.  He should not be parading around without a shirt these days.

  27. 27
  28. 28
    Charlene says:

    That razor burn looks evil. He’s got to learn that being a redhead and shaving/waxing down there don’t necessarily go together.

    Then again given the unicolour flamboyance of that red, maybe he’s not natural.

  29. 29
    Madd says:

    You will shortly begin receiving the bills for the extensive therapy that will be required for me to once again be able to live a normal life.

  30. 30
    Myriantha Fatalis says:

    He has no chance of ever gettin’ with me.

    (And why is no one mentioning the freaky-ass hairstyle?  What is he, a little girl?)

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