Help A Bitch Out

RWA National: The Insider’s Guide

So it’s one week till national, and I’m pulling my hair.
I’m still trying to decide on what shoes I will wear.
Pregnant feet get so swollen,
They’ll each want a Croc,
but with all that “business casual,”
They don’t want to be mocked!

And meanwhile Sarah, as big as a barn,
will waddle the hotel with a parka on.
She hears that the A/C in Dallas is arctic,
But with 90+ humidity, that cold is cathartic!

The FAQ online recommends tote bags and pens
and business cards and goodies and a stack of Depends.
You might not have time to go relieve yourself
while loading up on 612,573,870 books for your shelf!

So what are your tips and your gems of experience,
for those whose prep work has made them delirious?
And who’s going to National? Who’ll be at the Hyatt?
With both the SBs there? It will be a riot!

Seriously, folks – what are your tips for RWA National? What little gem of brilliance did you learn at a past conference? What do you do to preserve your feet? Your makeup? Your sanity?

While I’ve never been to National, here are my tips :

1. Download the Conference Schedule of events from the RWA site and print it out. Take it to your nearest copy machine and reduce it so that 4 pages fit on one 8×11 sheet of paper. Cut them up, staple together – and presto: a very, very small and very portable version of the RWA Conference Schedule that takes up a LOT less room in your bag.

2. If you see an itty bitty booklight or similar book light apparatus as a giveaway, grab it. I got one at the RWA-NJ conference two years ago and we use it all the time. And what do we use it for? When Freebird was a newborn and in a basinette in our room, we used it to light our way toward making his late night bottle without turning on the lights and waking everyone up. The dim light from the booklight let the other one of us sleep while we switched off on night feeding duty without getting out of bed. Those booklights? I love them so much I start crying hormonally when I see them. It’s kind of sad.

3. Make sure to identify all the nearest ladies’ rooms, keeping in mind that the closest ladies’ room may be behind you. This is probably my biggest concern, but then, I fully plan on pitching to every editor and agent that walks in the ladies’ because I’ll be in there anyway most of the time already, just for fun. They’ll dread going in in case that crazy pregnant lady is in there waiting to pitch them a book about alien sanitation workers kidnapping women bike messengers for toe-orgies in Oklahoma.

So, Bitchery conference-goers – what’s your advice for the rest of us?

Comments are Closed

  1. P.N. Elrod says:

    rats, the link doesn’t work.

    http://www.mapquest.com

    Your starting directions ar:

    300 Reunion Blvd W
    Dallas, TX 75207-4423, US

    Going to:

    [600-698] Elm St
    Dallas, TX 75202, US

    Can someone delete my previous entry to save space?

    Total Est. Time:  1 minute
    Total Est. Distance: 0.39 miles
    Online Offers

    Dallas Hotels
    Schools in Texas
    Dallas Real Estate

  2. Amy A says:

    For those that like the Crocs, but don’t want to be mocked, check out the new Croc ballet flats.

    Enjoy the conference!

  3. Julie_from_SoCal says:

    The last RWA convention I attended was in Reno.  I dressed up the first day and was uncomfortable (I work at a very casual office, so I usually wear leggings and sneakers).  I wore jeans and athletic shoes to the rest of the sessions, but dressed nicer for meals, personal meetings and the Ritas.  The ceremony was hotter than heck (the temp, not the content—that’s another story!).  I was happy my dress had a jacket I could remove.  This might be the time to wear a strapless dress.

    I brought a second suitcase filled with bottled water (I drink a lot).  By the end of the convention, the suitcase was empty and I filled it with books and saved shipping costs.

    Hope everyone who’s going has a great time.  I won’t be there this year, but I’ll be in San Francisco next year!

    Cheers!

  4. Melissa says:

    I can’t wait. I too am making notes.

    No fug shoes while Nora is in 5 mile radius. Check.

    Spend time at the bar for things to put in future books. Check.

    Have the best time of my writerly life. CHECK!

    sidenote-the verification: must28. Is that a reminder to have deoderant in purse?

  5. taybug says:

    Yeah, I know I’m late… Anyway, we need SBTB Decoder Rings!!!!!!! Or SBTB tiaras!!!! Or lapel pins. Whatever. Something to denote that we are Smart Bitches. I can’t make Dallas this year, but will definitely be in SF for next year. I’m from the Bay Area and I miss my homies…West Siiiiiiiiiide! Oooh, or we could have SBTB gang signs we throw at each other. You get the picture…

  6. MZ says:

    Bring a boat…it hasn’t stopped raining in Dallas.

  7. Jaci Burton says:

    Bring a boat…it hasn’t stopped raining in Dallas.

    *cries*

    Not wanting to hear that since it hasn’t stopped in Oklahoma either.

  8. Kerry Allen says:

    “Anyway, we need SBTB Decoder Rings!!!!!!! Or SBTB tiaras!!!! Or lapel pins. Whatever. Something to denote that we are Smart Bitches.”

    I vote hot pink feather boas and cateye glasses for the SB uniform.

  9. Bonnie C says:

    I did Dallas in 2004 – pun intended – and I was seven months pregnant with my first. Everything everyone else has mentioned covers most things, but I’ll bet you might not have known that a visibly pregnant belly is the biggest chick magnet at a convention with a population of 97.26% women. This not being your first nubbin, I suspect you are well versed in fending off unwanted advances – be prepared.

    Having said that, pregnant bellies are forgiven nearly all sins, if I remember correctly, so wear what you need to in order to survive. Water and snacks is a very handy tip – but don’t make your bags too heavy or you’ll regret it super fast.

    Have fun. And play it cool when La Nora or Jenny Crusie hops into the elevator with you. I managed to not prostrate myself at Ms. Crusie’s feet in a Reno elevator – my writing partner started looking for the pod she was so stunned by my cool-headedness.

    Congrats on the BOOK DEAL. SO looking forward to “legitimately” printed snark.

  10. Melissa says:

    Unfortunately, the Divine Ms. C won’t be there.

  11. Lynn M says:

    I realize that most have moved on from yesterday’s blog, but I must say that I have absorbed all of the advice.  I live in Dallas, so I can always drive home and change into something I can stand to wear.  I plan to take a change and leave in my car in case it’s needed.  I have friends who said I could use their room for such purposes if necessary, bless them.

    Oh, and today was sunny and extremely nice in the Dallas/Ft.Worth area.  They say it should last a while.  But, with so much rain of late it will be very humid!

    I have lurked for a while, but felt compelled to post today.  I hope to meet whomever I can this next week.  Oh, and I’m helping stuff those tote bags at the hotel tomorrow.  A sneak peak!

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