In order to at least attempt to restore any credibility I might have in the “*squee* I LOVE YA” department, I’m going to review a Sweet Valley High novel. Specifically, the one that was such a tease that it drove me towards romance for more direct sexual explanation: Dear Sister book 7, where Elizabeth gets in a motorcycle accident, and is in a coma for all of, I think, 2 chapters. Not that the book’s cover copy led you to believe that. The copy and blurbs make it sound like she’s going to linger for pages.
And yes, this is also the book wherein Bruce Patman puts his hand on Elizabeth’s breast – and whoa, nelly. That’s about as far as anyone got in Sweet Valley, I think.
The best part: I bought it used for .01, though I did have to pay for shipping.
The next best part? A quiz! With prizes! I have a truckload of signed books, and shall send you two for your reading pleasure, should you be able to accurately guess the following questions:
1. How long will it take SB Sarah to read this book?
2. How many pages will be dog-eared as a marker for “This page contains outrageous badness and should be referenced in review?”
3. What grade will she ultimately assign the book?
Put your guesses in the comments, and I shall post the answers in my review. She or he who guesses most accurately will get 2 signed books of romance content to add to their library.
1. 4 hours
2. 14 pages
3. D+
I used to read them as a kid. I loved them so much that my mother regularly used them as bribes.
My guesses
40 mins
36 pages
D+
I think I still have all mine in storage at the Parentals’ house.
lovelysalome,
I was fascinated by the whole Clan of the Cave Bear thing as a youngster. My books still fall open to the pages where Jondalar performs his Oral Sex Magic (not to be confused with the Red Hot Chili Peppers album of similar name).
And they fall open to those pages because I read them. Over. And. Over. And. Over. Again. In shock, and awe, and with the general feeling of WTF?!
I was young, remember.
TRIXIE BELDEN!!!!
How I *loved* Trixie!
However I am now eternally suspicious of Waldorf Salad thanks to the apple-seed poisoning incident…..
1.5 hours, 42 pages, B-
1. How long will it take SB Sarah to read this book?
2 hours. But with interruptions from kids and life, I’ll say 2 days
2. How many pages will be dog-eared as a marker for “This page contains outrageous badness and should be referenced in review?â€
approx 30% of the total
3. What grade will she ultimately assign the book?
C-
OMG yes! That’s actually the only one I have ever read (back in middle school), and I throroughly enjoyed the total insanity and over the top drama. Also, I think the “bad boy” guy was kind of hot. Also, it took place during Christmas, and TEH EBIL LOOKALIKE sent scare cards saying things like “Deck the Halls with Bloody Bodies” to the twins. Holy crap.