Disclaimer: I realize that as a native of Pittsburgh, PA, I have NO ROOM at ALL to make fun of place names. In Pittsburgh? We talk about the Beaver Valley, the Quaker Valley Fighting Quakers, and we won’t even get into the towns of DuBois and North Versailles. That would be “doo-boys” and “nort ver-sales.” I’m not kidding.
Why aren’t more erotic novels set in Australia? A very, Very Nice Editor at Kensington gave me a copy of an article (can I use your name? I don’t know if I can say who you are, but you’re awesome!) from the NY Times, and it’s so awesome, I had to PDF it for those who can’t access the joy that is this treasure of unintentional humor: Download your copy or read it online.
What superficially appears to be an article about a zoologist who studies the kangaroo is really a treasury pot of inspiration.
For the record: I love kangaroos, but then, I have a toddler who loves The Wiggles, so I’m pretty much in love with the whole of Australia for giving me four gyrating men who entertain him so I can sit down and catch my breath for 30 minutes.
But erotica? In Australia? Clearly, there needs to be more of it.
Take, for example, some of the NAMES OF THINGS in Australia.
The nailtail wallaby. Imagine that erotic hero nickname.
Or, the part that caught the Very Nice Editor’s eye:
The fabulous oolacunta, a rat kangaroo that is now extinct, streaked across the desert at speeds that made it seem to float above the ground. One naturalist and his assistants, working in relays with fresh horses, pursued an oolacunta over rough terrain for 12 miles in 1931 before finally catching up to the little fellow, which then keeled over and breathed its last.
Oo! La Cunta! It hovers across the ground until it collapses and dies from exhaustion? Remind you of any overworked glistening orifices® you know?
As Bill Bryson noted recently, Australia also has a startling collection of town and location names that would drive the average erotic author to fits of combustible creativity. Bryson’s examples are fine enough: “Mullumbimby Ewylamartup, Jiggalong, and the supremely satisfying Tittybong.”
But then, consider these other fine examples of where Caden “Nailtail” Wallaby and Anita the hovering oolacunta could met up in hopping sexual bliss: Will their Loveday include a stop in Carrickalinga after a drive through Cockburn?
Gosh, I love Australia.
I forgot to add Buttzville, NJ to the list of kooky US place names. I used to take visitors there just so they could get their photo taken next to the roadsign. As far as I could tell from the diner clientele, all butts in Buttzville were normal sized!
eggs.
My favourite has always been Yorkshire’s Wet Wang.
Though it’s not erotic, more ewww.
I have you all beat. Behold the township of Fucking, Austria.
http://boingboing.net/2007/01/17/a_town_called_fuckin.html
oo i love bill bryson! that book in particular. i made my parents rent it on CD for a road trip, and we were all cracking up on a regular basis, it’s so funny.
i’m surprised no one’s remembered Pearl Cove by elizabeth lowell, which is set in australia…i guess it doesnt really count since they don’t really go very far from Hannah’s place, but still, it’s australia!
security word: almost65—um, not for another forty-five years, thank you very much!
I spent a short time in Northern Scotland, in Orkney. It is one of the most beautiful, friendly places I have ever been. There is a little town called Twat, and it is also a family name there.
*sigh*
I still snicker like a second grader when I think of it.
I used to drive past a the turnoff to Burrumbuttock quite regularly…..
Living in Melbourne, the suburb of Packenham Upper always makes me giggle.
(You have to say it was an Oz accent – Packin’ ‘em up ‘er… [giggling])
Hey, born and bred yinzer here! Intercourse never fails to make me giggle, especially as its populated by Amish. Let us not forget Glyde, either. We slide right past that one on the way to visit the family. And if you go north of Pgh, you find yourself very quickly on the other side of the Moon, and can get to Mars fairly quickly from there.
And no, we don’t have room to talk, whether in plain English, or in our native tongue.
Yinz dunno nothin bout tawkin’ till yinz’ve tried to speak Pixburgese n’at.
Psst, Xandra – I’ve got a sticker on the back of my car? Says “n@” I am not this guy but that’s my sticker.
Because I am so very not cool.
A friend of mine who was in the Australian Army told me of a way in which they exercised the Australian sense of humour at the expense of visiting American soldiers….
They would tell the Americans that there was an Australian language, separate to English. And give them some examples, and then helpfully translate. For instance: “Cowra gundaroo mudgee” is Australian for, “Would you like beef for dinner?” and “Bullamakanka bullaburra katoomba” means, “We’re having a cold winter”. And so on, stringing together place names derived from Aboriginal words into a fanciful (and entirely fictitious) language. Not sure how many Americans they bamboozled, but it was apparently rather fun…
The American place name that makes me chuckle is Truth or Consequences. Nowadays there aren’t enough game shows out there providing incentives for little towns to rename themselves. Idolville? Who Wants to be a Millionaire? (Here’s Wikipedia on Truth or Consequences: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth_or_Consequences,_New_Mexico)
There’s a lot of black worn in Melbourne. I’m not surprised to find out about the vampires there….
How can you all have missed the best place name in Australia ever?
Mount Buggery!