Disclaimer: I realize that as a native of Pittsburgh, PA, I have NO ROOM at ALL to make fun of place names. In Pittsburgh? We talk about the Beaver Valley, the Quaker Valley Fighting Quakers, and we won’t even get into the towns of DuBois and North Versailles. That would be “doo-boys” and “nort ver-sales.” I’m not kidding.
Why aren’t more erotic novels set in Australia? A very, Very Nice Editor at Kensington gave me a copy of an article (can I use your name? I don’t know if I can say who you are, but you’re awesome!) from the NY Times, and it’s so awesome, I had to PDF it for those who can’t access the joy that is this treasure of unintentional humor: Download your copy or read it online.
What superficially appears to be an article about a zoologist who studies the kangaroo is really a treasury pot of inspiration.
For the record: I love kangaroos, but then, I have a toddler who loves The Wiggles, so I’m pretty much in love with the whole of Australia for giving me four gyrating men who entertain him so I can sit down and catch my breath for 30 minutes.
But erotica? In Australia? Clearly, there needs to be more of it.
Take, for example, some of the NAMES OF THINGS in Australia.
The nailtail wallaby. Imagine that erotic hero nickname.
Or, the part that caught the Very Nice Editor’s eye:
The fabulous oolacunta, a rat kangaroo that is now extinct, streaked across the desert at speeds that made it seem to float above the ground. One naturalist and his assistants, working in relays with fresh horses, pursued an oolacunta over rough terrain for 12 miles in 1931 before finally catching up to the little fellow, which then keeled over and breathed its last.
Oo! La Cunta! It hovers across the ground until it collapses and dies from exhaustion? Remind you of any overworked glistening orifices® you know?
As Bill Bryson noted recently, Australia also has a startling collection of town and location names that would drive the average erotic author to fits of combustible creativity. Bryson’s examples are fine enough: “Mullumbimby Ewylamartup, Jiggalong, and the supremely satisfying Tittybong.”
But then, consider these other fine examples of where Caden “Nailtail” Wallaby and Anita the hovering oolacunta could met up in hopping sexual bliss: Will their Loveday include a stop in Carrickalinga after a drive through Cockburn?
Gosh, I love Australia.