White Horror

Bitchery Reader Erin went above and beyond the call of duty in that she risked re-exposing herself to the following two covers, which she discovered while shelving the romance at work.

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Sarah: Chief Appears As Floating Horse Head knew his vengeance against his evil stepson was nearly complete. Looks Like Squaw But Pees Standing Up had already fooled him with sexual wiles, and so long as the young warrior, Mullets Are Not Gay, didn’t move his leg any farther up Squaw’s valley, the Chief would soon witness young Mullet’s humiliation.

Candy: White Vengeance. There’s a title that’s NOT AT ALL LOADED for you. Next up in this series: White Pride, White Hatred and White Nationalism.

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Sarah: That there Native American Man Titty had such powerful wind, he stretched his horse out like a big sweaty piece of hair taffy and tore that woman’s dress apart. Wow. Great Spirit indeed.

Candy: What a wonderfully novel way to kill somebody—create massive turmoil in your surrounding areas with your, uh, white wind so they don’t see you coming, then grab at their backs while riding full gallop so you snap their spines like twigs.

Also: Riding bareback. While bare-assed. That’s a whole new world of funky deliciousness right there.

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Sarah: “What? What?! In the Butt?!”
“Yes, that is my formal name. My friends call me INVISIBLE BUTTSECKS.”

Candy: Invisible Buttsecks: actually a metaphor for Visible Genocide. Look, even the name suggests as much. White Dawn? Jesus, what the fuck were the people thinking when they came up with these titles?

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