Sarah: If you get the Publisher’s Marketplace’s ‘Today’s Deals’ email, you learned that Candy and I have a book deal. Or, as we put it, an omgwtfbbqholyshit book deal. To quote the announcement, it was a “nice” deal.
Sounds like my mother in law might have been involved – “Oh, Sarah! That’s so nice!”
Seriously. My blood pressure is already low and I had to put my head between my knees while we were talking to our agent about it. Hell, I have to put my head between my knees when I type words like “our agent.”
So many of you have written about the moment when you got The Call, and yeah. Head spinning? Check. Mouth hanging open? Check. More head spinning? Check. Candy totally did the pee-pee dance for at least an hour. (I do the pee-pee dance pretty much all day so no one noticed the change in my choreography.)
To quote the announcement, we’ll be writing a guide to romance novels, “a funny, somewhat bitchy and adoring look at the world of romance novels, from the authors to the covers to the conferences to the audience around.”
I’ve been rather shy about discussing it as it is in development, but there it is. We’re putting the word “Book” and the word “Deal” in the same sentence, and trying really hard not to pass out.
Candy: Sarah’s covered most of it, but I have this to add: HOLY FUCKING SHITDAMNNING CRAPMONKEYS IN A FUCKBARREL.
Back when Sarah and I asked for questions that we could answer in our About Us sections, one of the questions was “Are you guys going to write a book? Like, SMART BITCHES GUIDE TO ROMANCE NOVELS, vol. 1?”
Back then, we snorted, gave silly answers and moved on.
We really, really didn’t expect anyone to approach us and essentially say “DUDES. WRITE A SMART BITCH BOOK ABOUT ROMANCE NOVELS.”
So yeah, that weird sound you hear? That’d be my brain boggling.
We’re going to write a book. What’s more, we’re going to write a book that in all likelihood will contain the words “shit,” “fuck,” “cunt,” “cock,” “cocksucker,” “motherfucker” and “tits.” Also, “twat.” Not to mention “crapweasels” and “cuntmonkeys.”
This is going to rock.
Sarah: Oooh. Crapweasels. That’s also nice.
ZOMGWTFBBQ??!!
W00t!!
Hurrah for you. If you actually manage to get the word “cuntmonkey” in the book, I’m buying 10 copies to give to my husband’s friends.
I second the above comment – if “cuntmonkeys” is in there, I’m buying several copies. I’ll be happy with “crapmonkeys in a fuckbarrel” or even, yes, the “purple-headed womb ferret”. It’ll be a deep and abiding love.
Nice going!
Congratulations!!!
I’m super excited about this book! I can’t wait!
Congratulations Bitches! That is truly awesome news.
What are the chances of a Cassie Edwards cover quote?
Congratulations!!!!
I am so buying this book!
But what about ‘Buttsecks’???
yeah, dessertwillow’s right—and the hershy highway of lurve. Don’t forget that one.
Candy—you doing this book while you’re in law school?
Sarah—you doing this book with a toddler and a baby?
Go, bitches!
Woooo! Feel the love! The warm, sticky, love…. Thanks for the good wishes, everybuddy. We’ll do everything we can to ensure the book Does Not Suck.
Kate: Yeah, Sarah and I are going to work on the book while I’m in law school and she’s taking care of a toddler AND a newborn. We are crazy bitches, is for sure. I’m taking the month of August off—I was planning on making a massive road trip, but now it looks like I’m probably going to be spending it writing my ass off, getting as much done as possible before hitting the grinder that is being a 1L.
Congrats that is awesome!
Back from BIG family trip to excellent news. You are da bitches!
I know I’m the gazillionth person to say this, but a huge Australian congratubloodylations to both of you!
Can’t wait to read this book.
Congratulations!
I’m looking forward to standing at the counter in the bookstore, saying, “Hey, do you have that Smart Bitch book?â€
(Verification word: church86. As in, ‘should a church-going lady really use language like that?’ Only when it’s accurate. 😉 )
AWESOME! Ya know, I just can’t wait to see the cover of this one!! LOL!!
WTG, ladies…err, bitches!!
How the hell did I miss this post on Friday!
CONGRATULATIONS! Okay, I want to say I TOLD YOU SO! I TOLD YOU SO!
I told you that you two should absolutely write a book, that you had a devoted audience already established, and that you were some of the funniest people around!
I am thrilled and so happy for you! Now you can afford that expensive yuppie diaper service.
oooxxxx
I know Candy has her kinks, but does she really indulge in diapering yuppies?
Cool. And squicky.
one big huge MAN-TITTY TIT-SHIMMY for you bitches…cant wait to go buy it and ask nice and loud… do you happen to have the book “bitches..first name smart”….i needs me some smartbitches….
would love to see a whole chapter on the cassie edwards native american
..
Wonderful news! For you, for us, and for everyone who likes a little content with their reviews.
Go crapweasels!
CONGRATULATIONS! this is going to ROCK!
THANK GOD! A romance reference worth buying!
Yay!
Congrats ladies! The pee dance isn’t what it sounds like is it?:/ nvm,don’t wanna know!
I’ll so totally be buying your guys’ book.
I’ve been lurking here from the beginning, but this is just TOO AWESOME! I say we take up a collection to buy an ad for the bus and subway system in Washingtoon DC (typo intentional). Right next to the DCists, if any still survive.
I’ve been lurking here from the beginning, but this is just TOO AWESOME! I say we take up a collection to buy an ad for the bus and subway system in Washingtoon DC (typo intentional). Right next to the DCists, if any still survive.
I must be living under a very big rock, because I somehow missed this news until today.
Congratulations! It couldn’t happen to smarter bitches! 🙂
Congrats! I must beg, if you include “cunt” and “twat”, please also include the only word in a romance guaranteed to send me off into gales of laughter every time… “Quim”. Reading that, in what should, by rights, should be hot and heaven, causes uncontrollable giggles.
I don’t think anything was every so perfectly perfect. wahoo!!! Congrats!!!
Oh, freaking *awesome*. I will definitely be looking forward to it… although I don’t see me taking any more dares (I *did* Image-Google “tubgirl”—-shudder—- and I *still* haven’t recovered).
Don’t forget to include an eBook version as well! 😉