Sarah: If you get the Publisher’s Marketplace’s ‘Today’s Deals’ email, you learned that Candy and I have a book deal. Or, as we put it, an omgwtfbbqholyshit book deal. To quote the announcement, it was a “nice” deal.
Sounds like my mother in law might have been involved – “Oh, Sarah! That’s so nice!”
Seriously. My blood pressure is already low and I had to put my head between my knees while we were talking to our agent about it. Hell, I have to put my head between my knees when I type words like “our agent.”
So many of you have written about the moment when you got The Call, and yeah. Head spinning? Check. Mouth hanging open? Check. More head spinning? Check. Candy totally did the pee-pee dance for at least an hour. (I do the pee-pee dance pretty much all day so no one noticed the change in my choreography.)
To quote the announcement, we’ll be writing a guide to romance novels, “a funny, somewhat bitchy and adoring look at the world of romance novels, from the authors to the covers to the conferences to the audience around.”
I’ve been rather shy about discussing it as it is in development, but there it is. We’re putting the word “Book” and the word “Deal” in the same sentence, and trying really hard not to pass out.
Candy: Sarah’s covered most of it, but I have this to add: HOLY FUCKING SHITDAMNNING CRAPMONKEYS IN A FUCKBARREL.
Back when Sarah and I asked for questions that we could answer in our About Us sections, one of the questions was “Are you guys going to write a book? Like, SMART BITCHES GUIDE TO ROMANCE NOVELS, vol. 1?”
Back then, we snorted, gave silly answers and moved on.
We really, really didn’t expect anyone to approach us and essentially say “DUDES. WRITE A SMART BITCH BOOK ABOUT ROMANCE NOVELS.”
So yeah, that weird sound you hear? That’d be my brain boggling.
We’re going to write a book. What’s more, we’re going to write a book that in all likelihood will contain the words “shit,” “fuck,” “cunt,” “cock,” “cocksucker,” “motherfucker” and “tits.” Also, “twat.” Not to mention “crapweasels” and “cuntmonkeys.”
This is going to rock.
Sarah: Oooh. Crapweasels. That’s also nice.
Holy shit! That’s *awesome*, guys.
I can’t wait to own this. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is fantastically awesome! Congrats, you guys
Congratulations! I can’t wait to read it.
Congratulations! I know I will be buying several copies as gifts. Many people I know need to experience your brillance.
How revolutionary—a funny, entertaining, well-crafted book about Romance novels! It was only a matter of time. Congratulations!!!
Ah, rebyj beat me to it. Fuckheady bitchipants.
But congratufuckinglations. I’m excited as well.
Covers gone bad, words like “crapweasels,” romance reviews, all in one handy volume. What is not to love about this whole idea? Huge congratulations, SBs.
Now, will your cover be lurid, something tastefully mocked-up with Photoshop? Whatever it is, the words SMART BITCHES will be on the front and I’m buying a copy for every
snob
person I know.
Woohoo. Congratulations to the Smartest Bitches Ever!
Fantastic news!
Any hope that the Pepe Le Pew cover will make the cut? Pleaseohpleaseohplease.
If Fabio isn’t on the cover, I’ll be disappointed….
Fabio Mantitty + Fuckheady Bitchipants = best bitchery seller.
I was thinking more Tony than Fabio. Be nice, heal old hurts, that sort of thing…
Can we take bets over who bans it first?
Congratulations.
OK, THIS makes sense! Good news and Congratulations bitches!
Wow! Congratulations, ladies! 🙂
I think Ms Roberts may hold the copyright for “fuckheady bitchipants”. 😉
I’m still so excited for the Bitches I’m about ready to do the pee pee dance!
But inquiring minds want to know the details. How did you get your agent? How long did this all take? Details, bitches, the bitchery needs details.
Awesomeness!!! I’m so happy for you, me, and the rest of the Bitchery.
And I thought that the only people who bought Clay Aiken’s albums were 12-year-old girls who think he’s straight.
I never said I BOUGHT his albums. Heaven forbid. They just…wound up in my iTunes folder. Somehow. My computer has very, very poor taste.
Oh, wow! Congratulations!
Congratulations!!!!! That is a book I will buy, broke or not. Way to go, bitches!
You… you… CUNTWEASELS!
(said with utmost admiration and excitement)
I want one (or more)!
Beyond awesome…congrats, and good luck!!
That is full of awesome! Congratulations!!
HUGE congratulations, SBs!
Now we have to sit back and wait for your first wrestle with being edited…
I’m betting crapweasel makes the cut. Some of the other options…. hmmmm.
😉 Good luck!
Congratulations 🙂 All that time, dedication, and intensive scholarly research are paying off. Well, two out of three 😉
So when will this literary marvel hit the bookstores? Wild guess says next summer?
Congratulations, from a usual lurker! I’ll be first in line at my local bookstore to buy this one!
Woohooo! That’s fantabulous! Big, big congrats from across the big blue sea! I’m sure it’s going to be a most interesting guide to romance fiction (and one that makes the reader snigger and chuckle and laugh out aloud) (a lot!).
My word: quality66—hear, hear! 🙂
WOOT!! I will so buy that book! At full price!
WOWZA!!! Congrats guys! That’s fabulous news.
[I would have used more exclamation points but I know that can get annoying.]
Whoa couldn’t happen to better bitches! I read several blogs but this is the only one I have bookmarked and check every day.
Eeee! Well done, you two.
Congratulations bitches!!!! Welcome to the fray… I mean publishing.
That’s fantastic!! As so many have said before me: Congratulations, Bitches!! I’ll be buying at least two copies. One for my home and one for prominent display in my office.
Wonderful! Congratulations! I’ll be there with bells on to buy a copy.
But am I the only one whose imagination is spinning ahead? I’m seeing the possibilities, a review in the TBR, maybe the LA Times? The first time they read “fuckheady bitchipants” the reviewer will have a damn coronary. And moving futher on, I can see your appearance on the Today show. Matt Lauer trying to keep a straight face and not laugh out loud as he tries not to say “fuckheady bitchipants” or “crapweasels” for that matter.
(Rubs hands with glee.) This is going to be good.
HOLY CRAPWEASELS!!!!! Nice job, Bitches.
You know, I was happy and a bit meh when I read this because I thought, how awesome for them a book deal on romance books! But then I wondered if it would have the same give-it-to-the-mantitty approach you have on the blog.
Then I read the last bit. “Cocksucker” and “twat”? I am soooooooooooo there. This is so exciting. Congratulations to you both!
You know I’ll be buying a copy or four (I have a friend or two that need to read your book, if only to reassure them that intelligent, eloquent bitches read romance, dammit.)
And I, too, look forward to someone trying to say “Fuckheady Bitchipants” with a straight face.
CONGRATULATIONS!!
But will there will be a promo airplane to go along? Or perhaps some other origami creation?
;D
My word is looking71 – I’ll definitely be looking for your book!
Congrats.
I’ll buy a copy and hide it from the kids.
Wooooo doggy! This. Is. Gonna. Be. GREAT!
I like Cuntweasel. It works on sooo many levels.
So now I’m totally gonna hit up my publishers publicity dept and see if they’ll send you guys a couple of official ARCs. Because you’re all legit and shit. Daaaamn!