Hassle Your Hoff!

Behold, the highlights of the book signing with David Hasselhoff.

Most Embarrassing Moment: My asking the checkout clerk at the Barnes & Noble for three copies of Don’t Hassel the Hoff.

Moment When I Felt Much Better: When the woman with a bonafide German accent said she needed FOUR copies of the book.

Moment when I Felt Dizzy: It was 89 today (that’s about 31c and is plenty damn hot omg) and I walked quite a ways to the store, but that wasn’t too difficult, even with my waddly self. No, what made my head spin to the point where I thought I might have to sit down and put my head between my knees? Seeing that I now carried three of the Hoff’s visage on the back cover of his book. Wow.

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Person in front of me: I *heart* the Hoff. I’m so excited. OhMahGaaaahd I can’t believe I get to meet him. I saw him in Vegas! He was SO GOOD.

(I barely restrained myself from asking, “At what?”)

Person behind me to BN employee prepping books for signing: “I need it to be made out to ‘Cong. Kennedy.’ Yes, seriously. Oh, and I need to talk to Mr. Hasselhoff’s publicist and his agent. Can you tell me which ones they are and introduce me?”

(This was a BN employee who had a pen and a pad of Post-It notes. Clearly the person to ask for an introduction to Hoff’s agent.)

Person behind me to me: “You should have him autograph your belly! And name the baby David, Jr!”

Most bizarre experience: Being interviewed by a Japanese daily newspaper WITH PHOTO as “Sarah from NYC” who was there because I have an origami Hoff airplane and he needs to sign it. The reporter said she was VERY VERY GOOD at origami, and laughed when I told her it took me about 45 minutes to fold my Hoff plane, even with directions. So tomorrow, there’s going to be a Japanese daily paper with my picture with my HoffPlane, and in Japanese it will say something about how the power of my origami plane required my presence at David Hasselhoff’s booksigning. Pity I don’t know what the hell paper it was.

Biggest frustration: The barky annoying BN people who were like “NO MEMORABILIA!!!” when talking about my HoffPlane.

Biggest Nyah-nyah: The Hoffster saying, “What’s That?!” when he saw the HoffPlane. His publicist from St. Martin’s was there, and she confirmed it was a big hit as a marketing tool. Well, of COURSE it is.

Awesomest Giveaway: The Hoff brought shirts for everyone who attended the book signing. I totally got one:

 

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Biggest Moment: Me, my belly, my HoffPlane, and…The Hoff.

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Comments are Closed

  1. iffygenia says:

    . . .

    wow, you . . . .

    . . .

    it’s . . .

    . . .

    I . . .

    . . .

    . . .

    spchlss
    !

  2. iffy#$%&!! says:

    $%^*$%^*$& &**)Fyn

    78yf80w7

    g0a7*(&*

  3. iffy#$%&!! says:

    $%^*$%^*$& &**)Fyn

    78yf80w7

    g0a7*(&*

  4. iffy#$%&!! says:

    $%^*$%^*$& &**)Fyn

    78yf80w7

    g0a7*(&*

  5. iffy#$%&!! says:

    $%^*$%^*$& &**)Fyn

    78yf80w7

    g0a7*(&*

  6. RB says:

    I was worried he was going to have to cancel with all of the court appearances he has to make this week.  He looks pretty sober today.  You are totally an internet rockstar now.

  7. (*&^geni% says:

    BBQ!

  8. (*&^geni% says:

    BBQ!

  9. (*&^geni% says:

    BBQ!

  10. (*&^geni% says:

    BBQ!

  11. Ann Bruce says:

    Is it just me or does the Hoff kind of look like Ronald Reagan in that last pic?

  12. Bonnie says:

    Good on ya for accomplishing the mission, but I’m a little concerned for the ba-beee … I’ve heard how susceptible they are to the external environment around them. I suggest a LOT of heavy-metal. And spicy foods …

    — Bonz

  13. You took one for the team!  Yay, SB Sarah!

    That is a picture to treasure.

  14. Yes. Reagan.

    (shudder)

    Bizarre. I admire SB Sarah’s pluck.
    Also… in the pic, at least, there is quite a bit more Hoff man titty than I expected. I don’t know whether to be happy or sad.

  15. closetcrafter says:

    You rock so hard. What a proud moment for all.  I hope you plan on putting this in new baby’s scrapbook………….

  16. Candy says:

    Sarah! Dude! You totally broke iffygenia!

  17. Liz C. says:

    This is singlehandedly the scariest and funniest thing I’ve seen all week. Possibly all year.

    Wow.

  18. plaatsch says:

    So didja, y’know, hassle him?

  19. SandyO says:

    Yay for Sarah!  You impressed the Hoff with the HoffPlane!

  20. sara says:

    I love it. Some friends and I went to a book signing for Sarah Dessen a few weeks ago, and while we were the oldest people there who weren’t the parents of teenagers, we had a great time attempting not to go all “ILOVEYOUOMG” at her.

    And when I interviewed The Hoff last year (about Click, on the phone), I spent most of the interview with the part of my brain that wasn’t actively, you know, interviewing, slackjawed and thinking, “you’re talking to David Hasselhoff. WTF.”

  21. Miri says:

    Stone cold awesome, Sarah! Iz so chuffed 4 U!

  22. shaina says:

    i saw the Hoff tonight.
    on TV. as a judge on “America’s Got Talent” (we really don’t…seriously people. go get a life.)
    ‘Cept, they call him david. and i kept thinking of him as Hoff, cuz of you ppls.
    i love the last picture though, i’ve been wondering what you look like, sarah!

  23. Cait says:

    His. Hair. Never. Moves.

  24. Elizabeth says:

    That picture of the Hoff, on the shirt, looks like Communist propoganda.  I have nothing against Communism, I swear; it’s just… he looks like Mao in a poufy wig.  Or Lenin, if he shaved off the beard and glued it over his beautiful eyebrows.  (I’m sorry—evil man, but lovely eyebrows.  He must have waxed them).

  25. Sarah, you’re completely too cute to be a Bitch.  I don’t buy it for one second.  Whip off those sunglasses and let us see the evil red snake eyes, (c) Lord Voldemort.  I know they’re there!

    And Ann’s right—there is an uncanny similarity between Hoff and Ronnie Ray-Gun in that pic.  Scary, scary stuff!

  26. Castiron says:

    Heh!  (I’m really going to have to forward the HoffPlane idea to one of my coworkers.)

  27. Trix says:

    AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

    So, here I am, logging into the Bitches to see what’s been happening … only to experience the horror that is the Hoff.

    What is really bloody creepy is that last night I had had an extremely detailed dream about Hoff having Hot Buttsecks with … Wolverine. It was so *wrong*! Wolverine was the bottom!

    And now I have to run off to Jung to see what he has to say about *this* kind of synchronicity. God help me.

  28. dl says:

    PLEASE re-assure us that Freebirds sibling is in no danger of being named David, Jr…awesome pic tho.

  29. Jenyfer says:

    You know, it’s kind of nice to see he has in fact AGED a little bit. Looks a little like a young Jack Palance to me…

    You didn’t actually let him touch your belly though, did you??

  30. Charlene says:

    This is the most awesome thing ever.

  31. Chris says:

    Sarah…you…rock!!!

  32. SB Sarah says:

    Ah, thank you. I am so pleased you are all amused.

    And no, Hoff did not touch the belly. He knows better. I’d have hasseled him down to the floor and sat on him until his mama arrived to teach him some manners.

    I will say that Hubby is so very proud of me, and refuses to even consider naming the baby (whom we call Baba O’Riley since our first child was/is Freebird) Hasselhoff.

  33. Stephanie says:

    Oh. My.
    I feel ridiculously pleased for having sent you the plane PDF that started you on the path to Hoff. I wish we could find the newspaper for which you got interviewed!

  34. scooter says:

    Good on ya SB Sarah!

    If he can do this, he’s hassle proof.

  35. Jepad says:

    Sarah, that was fantastic.  Love the nyah-nyah moment.  You should have a contest for whomever can find that Japanese paper with “Sarah from NYC”.

  36. I was thinking Jack Palance, too, Jenyfer!

    Wow…you met the Hof. I am green with envy.

  37. Kaite says:

    Scooter….not to be blunt about it, but WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOMINATION?!!??!

    I’d laugh, except he kind of looks like a society matron who forgot to shave her arms… :-X

  38. Drag.  Hoff.  Drag.  Hoff.

    Dragglehoff?

    I need to lie down.

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