Behold the Power of my Powerpoint

I got this PowerPoint presentation in teh email today, and had to share. Because if it’s Friday, and it’s Smart Bitches, there must be kilts.

Kilt Power! (right click and download, Bitches!)

Enjoy!

EDITED TO ADD:

I OWE YOU ALL CHOCOLATE because I neglected to mention that this is OMG-SRSLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

No, really, NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Geez. I feel like a tool. I’m sorry ya’ll!

Comments are Closed

  1. Bella says:

    “And if you’ve never see Puppetry of the Penis, you’ve not really grasped all the uses of a foreskin. LOL!”

    Kalen; I don’t think that one’s going to be much use for a hamburger…. maybe a hotdog, tho.

  2. Kaitlin says:

    Okay, this sucks.  Not only do I have NO idea what you’re talking about, but even if I wanted to download (which I do) I can’t!  Wah!!!  🙁

    So, may I have some chocolate?  Please?  😀

  3. maggie says:

    That was the best PowerPoint presentation I’ve ever sat through.

  4. I don’t think uncircumscribed penis look like tube worms. I think they look like they’re wearing turtleneck sweaters.  Very adorable 😀 Although I don’t know if ‘adorable’ is the words I’d use for cockzilla.

  5. dl says:

    Charelen…ditto on the finding Ben comment.

    Flasher next to the queen…his smile is big, but the rest isn’t.

    Candy…thanks for sharing!

  6. LDH says:

    The only way that I can wrap my *mind* around the honker is that it is already as big as it’s ever going to get….it HAS to be, because any bigger and it would be sentient.

  7. fiveandfour says:

    Wow, hard to pick a favorite there…so many things to see and think about. 

    Speaking of remarkable penises, dare I link to one of the more unusual penis pictures I’ve seen floating around the internet?  Yes, yes I do dare.

    Though I dare I will also include a warning that it’s probably even less worksafe than the men in kilts so caveat emptor and all that jazz.

  8. quichepup says:

    I’m married to an uncircumcised man and my son is uncut as well, less trauma all around. Until my husband finds out I’ve told umpteen bitches about his penis.

    I think of the foreskin as a little hoodie.

  9. Rachel says:

    Fiveandfour’s penis picture isn’t so much scary as oh-my-god-what-is-that-thing-coming-at-me? (isn’t that what the virgin’s in historicals used to say?) so much as why-the-hell-would-that-guy-do-something-like-that-to-(most likely)-the-favorite-part-of-his-anatomy.

    actually, I might still ask “what the hell is that thing coming at me?” if I had that guy standing between my legs too

  10. Sallyacious says:

    Let’s face it, some men are showers and some are growers. I’m pretty sure cockzilla is a shower. Otherwise, gravity would probably cause a nasty injury.

  11. Sallyacious says:

    fiveandfour, that’s some amazing work on the feller you linked to. I have a little tatt on my lower back and was a complete wimp about it. (I almost said weenie, heh!) I can’t imagine how much that “trouser dragon” must have hurt.

    full15 – I should think so. There wasn’t a bit of it that was still the original color.

  12. fiveandfour says:

    When I first saw that Puff picture I think my jaw hung open for a good long time while I marveled at the pain and the why?!? and the fact that the guy had to have gone back to the tattooists more than once to do that much work.  I came across comments made by the guy himself some time later and yes, he did have to go back several times over a period of months to complete the job.

    He is gay, so I suspect the closest women are going to get to viewing that piece of work is from the comfort of their internet connections.

  13. SandyW says:

    I’ve heard the ‘baby’s arm’ comment. But the joke I keep thinking about is:
    ‘Why, there’s nothing worn under a kilt, ma’am. It’s all in perfect working order.’

    One would hope that anything the size of The Monster would function, but I wouldn’t want to see for myself. That’s just scary.

  14. EGS says:

    Why oh why, do I click on these things?  You think by now I’d have learned my lesson…

  15. iffygenia says:

    Oh my.  I was hoping “Puff” was just body paint, like this.

  16. fiveandfour says:

    I’ve always had a thing for body paintings like that, iffygenia.  They make such imaginative use of the landscape of the body. 

    Can’t imagine how that would tickle to be painted all over like that, or indeed having the kind of brain that goes naked man…elephant…naked man…elephant…YES!…naked man as elephant.

  17. taybug says:

    Dude! Who freeballs with the Queen? Have they no respect? No class? Though he was kinda grinning like, “Look at me, my wanker’s waving at the Queen!”

    WV: Job85…something I should get back to, but holy hell, dude sitting on the grass is burned into my retinas and Excel makes no sense at this point.

  18. Jeanna says:

    That made my day.. regimental.. At least we know they felt a breeze

  19. Ehren says:

    all I can say is…

    WTF IS THAT THING?! Guy looks like he’s got an ARM growing from his crotch! I can’t tell if he’s the most popular guy in his town, or the town freak!

  20. Emmy says:

    Wow. It looks like the snout of an elephant seal.

    http://www.innatmorrobay.com/img/elephant_seals_color.jpg

  21. kyra says:

    Seem to be in the minority but circumcised penises look naked and weird.

  22. JMM says:

    Reminder to self;

    Do not go to the SBTB website until you are wearing Depends undergarments.

    *Off to change pants*

  23. BevQB says:

    Well I’m FINALLY on a PC that has PowerPoint and SWEET MOTHER MARY!!! I think I might have understated when I tagged that monster Cockzilla! I certainly HOPE it’s a shower, not a grower, because displacing that much blood flow WOULD kill the poor lad.

    I’m not sure what it says about me that I already had all the other pics, including Puff, in my eye candy folder. Oh wait, I already know what it says about me…

    BevL(QB)<—Pervy Old Broad

  24. BevQB says:

    I have totally put that Cockzilla pic to good use.

    From my blog review of the Immortals series:

    “Notice the family resemblence? Yes, as you can see, only an Immortal demi-god could wield that mighty Cockzilla. A mere mortal would surely die from the diversion of blood flow.

    The Immortal Brothers are eternally grateful to the Smart Bitches for finding their long lost (and up till now unknown) baby brother, Angus Hungwell.”

  25. Claudia says:

    My image of Outlander’s Jamie has been forever ruined by cockzilla, but I better understand Claire’s blunt force trauma 😉

  26. Susan says:

    FYI – If you don’t have PowerPoint, you can download a free PowerPoint viewer from the Microsoft Office website.  You can view, but not edit, with it.

  27. Susan says:

    I always have wondered what they wore under kilts…

  28. Sallyacious says:

    For the record, wearing a kilt sans underthings is called “going regimental”. It’s actually the required military uniform. In other words, part of inspection would be to check the bekilted soldiers to make sure they had on nothing “extra”. So the guy next to the Queen? Dressed appropriately. Everybody else in that picture is also freeballing.

  29. SarahLynn says:

    omg. I am going to go to bed with the image of “Cockzilla” forever burned into my memory.  I still think the best picture is the one of the guy sitting next to the Queen with the all-knowing smirk on his face.  He HAS to know that he is showing off the family jewels to the world.

  30. Susan says:

    OMG. Nothing underneath, in cold climates, in the winter, with an itchy (I assume) wool kilt. Sheesh.

    I wonder if the guy next to the Queen got in trouble.  Assuming of course that one isn’t a product of Photoshop.

    And “Cockzilla”…wow.  Is that a freak of nature or what? (again, assuming Photoshop wasn’t used.) Must admit I haven’t personally viewed a random sample, so to speak, but still seems pretty big.

  31. Todd says:

    um … the picture of the guy sitting next to the queen was Photoshopped – saw something about it when it was first making the rounds. But HMOG – that one would scare me into a vow of celibacy if I met it in real life.

  32. Oh thank God Todd told us that, because I was praying he was photoshopped.  I think the arms look ‘shopped, too, but still… that monster looks like it’d hang to his knees!

  33. Wait, wait, Todd said the guy next to the Queen was ‘shopped, not cockzilla.  Now I’m scared again.

  34. p. says:

    I never heard the “baby’s arm holding an apple” comparison before (geesh), but knew this joke variant:

    A man and a woman have gone out on several dates, and their relationship’s going well, except one or the other always seems to cut it short before they have sex. Finally, one night when they’re both in his apartment, they agree to talk about why they’re so hesitant. The woman says, “Well, to be honest, it’s because I pad my bra a lot—my breasts are only child-sized.” The man says, “Is that all? I guess we have similar worries—my penis is baby-sized.”

    …aaand I’m sure y’all can finish the joke yourselves.

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