Behold the Power of my Powerpoint

I got this PowerPoint presentation in teh email today, and had to share. Because if it’s Friday, and it’s Smart Bitches, there must be kilts.

Kilt Power! (right click and download, Bitches!)

Enjoy!

EDITED TO ADD:

I OWE YOU ALL CHOCOLATE because I neglected to mention that this is OMG-SRSLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

No, really, NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Geez. I feel like a tool. I’m sorry ya’ll!

Comments are Closed

  1. 1

    Words fail me – one slide in particular. You’ll all know which one I mean…

    Off to share this one with the world now!

  2. 2
    Victoria Dahl says:

    That guy was clearly a shape shifter, ya’ll. Or somebody else from an LKH novel.

  3. 3
    Kalen Hughes says:

    All I can say is that’s some caber that boy is sporting . . . sure hope he’s a shower not a grower. LOL!

  4. 4
    Charlene says:

    *blink*

    I think we found Ben from Ben’s Wildflower.

  5. 5
    Sana-chan says:

    Holy Jesus. I sure hope he’s not allergic to grass.

  6. 6
    Nifty says:

    <

    >

    Or Gray Ruillard (sp?) from Linda Howard’s “After the Night.”

    Relax, baby.  You can take it.  Just relax.

  7. 7
    Jepad says:

    That guy was clearly a shape shifter, ya’ll. Or somebody else from an LKH novel.

    Seriously.  You nailed that one.

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought “holy shit” when I saw that one.  Now I know what all those cocks in romance novels look like… Actually, I think I was happier not knowing.

  8. 8
    Nifty says:

    <

    >

    Well, I’m obviously a product of my own sadly limited experience, but MY romance novel cocks are circumcised.  The monster on that guy would get some raised eyebrows out of me for a couple of reasons, were I ever to meet up with it in person.  Seriously…it’s possible I might require instructions.

  9. 9
    sara says:

    I’m very glad you added that NSFW designation. Will peruse when I get home…

  10. 10
    Jess says:

    Damn it! Even warned I looked. *shakes fist and cries* I shouldn’t have. I really, really shouldn’t have. Is it too late to bury my head in the sand?

    But that slide of the kids was kinda cute…like “Holy, hell. That’s what we have to look forward to? Noooooo!” Then he waves over friend, and friend looks up and has the same reaction.

  11. 11
    Jepad says:

    Well, I’m obviously a product of my own sadly limited experience, but MY romance novel cocks are circumcised.

    Absolutely.
    I’m sorry, but uncircumscribed penises remind me of those tube worms in hydrothermal vents.  I expect some alien to emerge from them.

  12. 12

    ROFLMAO!  Excuse me while I wipe orange juice off of my keyboard.

  13. 13
    Kalen Hughes says:

    Well, I’m obviously a product of my own sadly limited experience, but MY romance novel cocks are circumcised.

    Not mine (experience or books!). In fact, I just got a fan letter thanking me for being historically accurate enough to have a foreskin on my hero. LOL! 

    But that guy in the kilt really does look like the old joke about a baby’s arm . . .

  14. 14
    BevQB says:

    Well, sheeet! Here I am working on my old clunker PC that has no Powerpoint cause I had to uninstall it to make room on my C: drive.

    Damn!! And I soooo want to see that Cockzilla under the kilt!

    You know, I’m 50 years old but STILL find penises endlessly fascinating!

    BevL(QB) < —Pervy Old Broad

  15. 15
    Najida says:

    Damn!
    Thank you….
    And well,
    damn…. :)

  16. 16
    Sallyacious says:

    Speaking of tools…

    You’ve got to love the smile on the face of the guy sitting next to the Queen.

    didnt72 – Actually, I think he probably did know.

  17. 17

    “I think we found Ben from Ben’s Wildflower”

    You said it, Charlene!

    “Cockzilla” – ROFLMAO!!! Wonder what *he* calls it? For surely something that size rates its own name??

    See29 is my security word – how appropriate!

  18. 18

    By the way, ever since I looked at that slideshow I’ve had the song The Drunken Scotsman in my head:

    Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
    And one could tell by how he walked the he’d drunk more than his share
    He fumbled ‘round until he could no longer keep his feet
    And he stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street
    [
    Refrain:
    Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
    Ring dye didley i oh
    He stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street
    [
    About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
    One says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
    “See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong a handsome built?
    I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt.”
    [
    Refrain:
    Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
    Ring dye didley i oh
    I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt
    [
    They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
    Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
    And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
    Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
    [
    Refrain:
    Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
    Ring dye didley i oh
    Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
    [
    They marveled for a moment, then one said “We must be gone.
    Let’s leave a present for our friend before we move along”
    As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in to a bow
    Around the bonnie star the Scot’s kilt did lift and show
    [
    Refrain:
    Ring-ding didle iidle i de-o
    Ring dye didley i oh
    Around the bonnie star the scot’s kilt did lift and show
    [
    Now the Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled towards the trees
    Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
    And in a startled voice he says, to what’s before his eyes,
    “Lad, I don’t know where ya been, but I see you’ve won first prize”
    [
    Refrain:
    Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
    Ring dye didley i oh
    Lad, I don’t know where you’ve been, but I see you’ve won first prize.

    ————————————————
    (Larger89 is my security word!!)

  19. 19

    *blinking rapidly*

    Oh my.

    I mean, that’s just…

    Holy shit.

    Wow.  Thanks for sharing.

  20. 20

    Cockzilla is right.

    I’m glad I’m not the only one picking my eyeballs off the floor.

    I seriously thought somebody had photoshopped it.

    Sherry

  21. 21
    Rachel says:

    I’m not sure if I’m in love, or if I’ve suddenly decided I can no longer fantasize about Scotsmen…

    …no, not giving up the Scots, I’m in love (although i’m never going to have sex with it)

  22. 22
    Rachel says:

    PS—my gag reflex just kicked in…

  23. 23
    Catherine J. says:

    . . . interesting, to say the least.

    I can’t decide whether to stare more or claw my eyeballs out.

  24. 24

    Kalen, damn it. What’s the joke?

    -Victoria, who just got done eating a banana pop and thinking about her own Scotsman

  25. 25

    Relax, baby.  You can take it.  Just relax.

    Oh, my God, I haven’t laughed that long in a while. “Just breathe through the contraction. . . I mean the sex.”

  26. 26
    iffygenia says:

    that guy in the kilt really does look like the old joke about a baby’s arm . . .

    Kalen, damn it. What’s the joke?

    Isn’t there a scene in The Lady’s Tutor where Ramiel compares a dildo to a baby’s arm? I never thought having a baby’s arm stuck up you was a sexy image, but perhaps I’m not seeing the, er, big picture.

  27. 27
    iffygenia says:

    uncircumscribed penises remind me of those tube worms in hydrothermal vents

    Oh so true.  And so appropriate.  Thermal vents… source of life… phallic tubeworms….  Biology in action….  “That’s hawt”

    See, that’s why the Creation Museum isn’t convincing.  That weak-ass diorama didn’t even show Adam’s phallic underwater tubeworm of generation.  Naooo.  We’re supposed to believe Adam didn’t grow a tubeworm until Eve done him wrong with Mr Snake?

  28. 28
    Jepad says:

    uncircumscribed penises remind me of those tube worms in hydrothermal vents

    Oh so true.  And so appropriate.  Thermal vents… source of life… phallic tubeworms….  Biology in action….  “That’s hawt”

    See, that’s why the Creation Museum isn’t convincing.  That weak-ass diorama didn’t even show Adam’s phallic underwater tubeworm of generation.  Naooo.  We’re supposed to believe Adam didn’t grow a tubeworm until Eve done him wrong with Mr Snake?

    Considering the shape similarity, maybe that was the punishment for Eve.  She’s reminded of that damn snake every time Adam wants to get it on…

    I just hope for her sake it didn’t look anything like that Scotsmen.  Although, I think that we can definitively answer the question of “can it be TOO big?”  OMG, yes. There are bulls that must envy him.

  29. 29
    iffygenia says:

    O jubilatum snortum!  Jepad, I just noticed what you actually wrote:

    uncircumscribed penises

    Reminds me of that old World History According to Student Bloopers in which Sir Francis Drake “circumcised the globe with a 100-foot clipper”.

  30. 30
    Kalen Hughes says:

    I must be the only woman on this blog that thinks there’s something seriously hideous about the appearance of a circumcised penis. *shrug* They creep me out. It’s like when someone is missing the tip of their finger. It’s just oddly wrong . . . plus, the whole ones are fun in ways the chopped up ones can never be. *grin* And if you’ve never see Puppetry of the Penis, you’ve not really grasped all the uses of a foreskin. LOL!

    I don’t know if it’s an actual joke, as in something with a punch line, but the classic way men would brag about size was to say their dick was like baby’s arm holding an apple. *ick* I’ve heard this and seen it in writing too often to think that it’s just men I know who are this disturbing.

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