We love Mrs. Giggles like a rockstar loves his vicodin, and her Blog Drama drinking game had us rolling on the floor. In
the spirit of shameless plagiarism
loving homage, we would like to present a Smart Bitch-specific version of the game. Feel free to click through the various kefufflage we’ve experiened the past month or so and drink until you feel like Ozzy Osbourne.
– Candy starts splitting infinitives, noun pairs and subject-verb pairs with “motherfucker” or “motherfucking”: 1 sip (small ones—we don’t you to experience alcohol poisoning here)
– Candy breaks into stupid Internet abbreviations because they make her LOL like AOL: 1 sip
– Or makes webcomic/webgeek references, and starts calling the Internet the Intertubes, Interwebs or Interblag: 2 sips
– Candy starts posting image macros: 3 sips
– And the macros are ORLY owls: 4 sips
– Or Lolcats: 5 sips
– Buttsecks owl invoked: Chug the damn mug
– Or Tubgirl: Throw up everything you’ve just drunk
– Candy acts like an asshole: 1 sip
– And admits as much in the comments: 2 sips
– Sarah posts a link or a news item and unexpectedly sets off a firestorm of OMGDRAMA: 2 sips
– Sarah eschews lengthy commentage about the drama and instead writes a whole new entry addressing the comments, complete with back-and-forth with Candy: 2 sips
– Sarah ponders, pontificates and asks questions: 1 sip
– Sarah starts getting pissed off and snipes back: GRAB YOUR FLASK AND RUN FOR COVER, FUCKERS
– Robin posts more than 500 words in her comment: 2 sips
– And Candy replies with 750: 3 sips
– EvilAuntiePeril shows up and writes a poem parody to mark the occasion: 3 sips
– Jane from Dear Author shows up and makes a comment defending readers: 1 sip
– And talks about authors behaving badly: 2 sips
- Then clarifies some sort of esoteric legal point: 3 sips
– Lilith Saintcrow, Bam et al reference inside joke: 1 sip
– Gratuitous image of a naked David Hasselhoff: 2 sips + bucket of bleach for your eyes
– Someone comments that Sarah or Candy is going to hell because we’re slimy, evil bottom-feeders: 1 sip
– And we’ve gone too far: 3 sips
– AND we are banned from internet: Chug a lug, baby.
– Someone makes the entirely original observation that two of the words in our blog title provide an oh-so-accurate reflection of the content: 4 sips
– Someone invokes the First Amendment incorrectly, a.k.a. Amy E’s law: 5 sips
– Someone else corrects that poster on their civil liberties: refill!
– Someone mentions Nazism, Fascism or both: 5 sips
– When really, they’re referring to generic authoritarianism and not Nazism or Fascism per se: 8 sips
– Someone threatens lawsuits: 10 sips
– Someone else delivers succinct correction as to how the legal system in the US works: 10 sips
– Suing commenter repeats threat anyway: drink till it’s dry.
– The central figure (or somebody claiming to be them) in the OMGDRAMA shows up in the comments: 2 sips
– And ends up making a semi-illiterate death threat: Drink what’s left of the bottle, break it over your head and allow prone body to be dragged off to the nearest car trunk
- Nora Roberts says ‘bitchipants fuckhead’: Go lie down for awhile. Bring the bottle with you.
- For every hour of work productivity lost because you’re too busy refreshing the comments and/or typing out lengthy
pure erudition in the form of comments: 1 sip