The Blog Drama Drinking Game: Special SB Edition!

We love Mrs. Giggles like a rockstar loves his vicodin, and her Blog Drama drinking game had us rolling on the floor. In

the spirit of shameless plagiarism

loving homage, we would like to present a Smart Bitch-specific version of the game. Feel free to click through the various kefufflage we’ve experiened the past month or so and drink until you feel like Ozzy Osbourne.

– Candy starts splitting infinitives, noun pairs and subject-verb pairs with “motherfucker” or “motherfucking”: 1 sip (small ones—we don’t you to experience alcohol poisoning here)

– Candy breaks into stupid Internet abbreviations because they make her LOL like AOL: 1 sip

– Or makes webcomic/webgeek references, and starts calling the Internet the Intertubes, Interwebs or Interblag: 2 sips

– Candy starts posting image macros: 3 sips

– And the macros are ORLY owls: 4 sips

– Or Lolcats: 5 sips

– Buttsecks owl invoked: Chug the damn mug

– Or Tubgirl: Throw up everything you’ve just drunk

– Candy acts like an asshole: 1 sip

– And admits as much in the comments: 2 sips

– Sarah posts a link or a news item and unexpectedly sets off a firestorm of OMGDRAMA: 2 sips

– Sarah eschews lengthy commentage about the drama and instead writes a whole new entry addressing the comments, complete with back-and-forth with Candy: 2 sips

– Sarah ponders, pontificates and asks questions: 1 sip

– Sarah starts getting pissed off and snipes back: GRAB YOUR FLASK AND RUN FOR COVER, FUCKERS

– Robin posts more than 500 words in her comment: 2 sips

– And Candy replies with 750: 3 sips

– EvilAuntiePeril shows up and writes a poem parody to mark the occasion: 3 sips

– Jane from Dear Author shows up and makes a comment defending readers: 1 sip

– And talks about authors behaving badly: 2 sips

- Then clarifies some sort of esoteric legal point: 3 sips

– Lilith Saintcrow, Bam et al reference inside joke: 1 sip

– Gratuitous image of a naked David Hasselhoff: 2 sips + bucket of bleach for your eyes

– Someone comments that Sarah or Candy is going to hell because we’re slimy, evil bottom-feeders: 1 sip

– And we’ve gone too far: 3 sips

– AND we are banned from internet: Chug a lug, baby.

– Someone makes the entirely original observation that two of the words in our blog title provide an oh-so-accurate reflection of the content: 4 sips

– Someone invokes the First Amendment incorrectly, a.k.a. Amy E’s law: 5 sips

– Someone else corrects that poster on their civil liberties: refill!

– Someone mentions Nazism, Fascism or both: 5 sips

– When really, they’re referring to generic authoritarianism and not Nazism or Fascism per se: 8 sips

– Someone threatens lawsuits: 10 sips

– Someone else delivers succinct correction as to how the legal system in the US works: 10 sips

– Suing commenter repeats threat anyway: drink till it’s dry.

– The central figure (or somebody claiming to be them) in the OMGDRAMA shows up in the comments: 2 sips

– And ends up making a semi-illiterate death threat: Drink what’s left of the bottle, break it over your head and allow prone body to be dragged off to the nearest car trunk

- Nora Roberts says ‘bitchipants fuckhead’: Go lie down for awhile. Bring the bottle with you.

- For every hour of work productivity lost because you’re too busy refreshing the comments and/or typing out lengthy


pure erudition in the form of comments: 1 sip


Fun And Games

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Kerry Allen says:

    I knew “bitchipants fuckhead” would make an appearance!

  2. 2
    Jackie says:

    What about anyone threatening suicide due to the harshness of the review? How many points for that?

  3. 3
    Michelle says:

    Awesome.  But I think you need to add take 1 sip whenever cake/cluecake is mentioned, and take 10 sips for Candy’s dichotomy icing quote.

  4. 4
    SB Sarah says:

    You are right – any reference to cake, cake recipes, leaving cake out in the rain, or the icing on said cake: 10 sips.

  5. 5
    Sandra D says:

    Nora said ‘bitchipants fuckhead’? Damn, so much for my plan to not read any more of the comments, I HAVE to see that lol.

  6. 6
    Nora Roberts says:

    Actually, it was fuckheady bitchipants, originally—as fuckheady was used as modifier in that particular instance.

    But I find it a versatile phrase, in all forms and usages.

  7. 7
    SB Sarah says:

    Lord have mercy, she said it again.

    Grab a bottle and go back to bed! WOO!

  8. 8
    Najida says:

    Good lord, we’d be soused by noon!

  9. 9

    I’m goin’ to lay down. Thanks, Nora…I was hoping for a nap today.

  10. 10

    Did you forget to add someone whining “Why can’t we all be niiiiiiice?” (hit her, then take a sip)

    Or was I too blotto by that point to catch it?

  11. 11
    runswithscissors says:

    Aw, you left out my favourites:

    When someone accuses someone else of not being who she says she is but actually her evil clone/rabid fan/agent/mother


    When this is in fact the case

  12. 12
    Emily says:

    I’m gonna have to start mixing my Cosmopolitans in a bucket lest I have to make repeated trips to the liquor cabinet.

  13. 13

    Wonderful! I love it! LMAO!

  14. 14

    Hey,  do we get the whole bottle regardless if it is “bitchipants fuckhead” or “fuckheady bitchipants”?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

    Also I agree, definitely have to put something in there to accomodate all the icing and cupcake references, otherwise we’ll be missing out on a lot of opportunities in this game.

    Thank you for the laugh, ladies,um….bitches, um where the heck did my gaming glass go?

  15. 15
    Cara says:

    Jeez…Ya’ll are killing me. At some point I have to get work done but I can’t tear myself away from the snark!

  16. 16
    Mel-O-Drama says:

    Nice. Now I’m drunk at work.

  17. 17

    >>Now I’m drunk at work< <

    And this is a bad thing because….?

  18. 18
    Mel-O-Drama says:

    >>And this is a bad thing because….?< <

    LOL! Actually it’s a good thing because I’m training a bitchipants intern today who talks way too much… Where’s my vodka?

  19. 19
    Carrie Lofty says:

    I gave up alcohol. I’ll sub for coffee and buzz around the room.

  20. 20
    casadebelcher says:

    A few observations:

    The Sunshine on my Buttcheeks fella from 04.27 coversnark is clearly WEARING fuckheady bitchipants.

    Fuckheady Bitchipants are Official Alarmingly Clothed Terror Alert Level: Orange

    Lurker chimes in with off-topic observations: two sips

  21. 21
    pilgrims says:

    forget the naked Hasselhoff, has anyone pulled out the THE HASSELHOFFIAN RECURSION???

  22. 22
    Cara says:

    That Hasselhoff thing is soooo wrong. Where’s my bleach?!!!!!

  23. 23
    Kalen Hughes says:

    So help me Jebus I’ll have a “fuckheady bitchipants” t-shirt for Dallas! I already texted my little sister who works for a t-shirt company . . . can I get arrested in TX for wearing “fuckheady bitchipants” right across my tits?

  24. 24
    RandomRanter says:

    Thanks!  Just in time for the MD Wine fest too.  If I miss work on Monday…

  25. 25
    casadebelcher says:

    >>can I get arrested in TX for wearing “fuckheady bitchipants” right across my tits?< <

    Kalen, as long as your shoes match your handbag, you will be safe from arrest in Dallas.

    In smaller Texas towns, however, “fuckheady bitchipants” t-shirts are still punishable by hanging.

    So is saying the word “tits” in public.

  26. 26
    Amy E says:

    - And ends up making a semi-illiterate death threat: Drink what’s left of the bottle, break it over your head and allow prone body to be dragged off to the nearest car trunk

    I don’t know what’s going to do me in first, alcohol poisoning or intractable spasms of laughter.

    I want to change my screenname to Fuckheady Bitchipants.  Sarah, Candy, can you help me out with that?

  27. 27

    Bottoms up, ladies!

    *takes a swig*

  28. 28
    Teddy Pig says:

    Lurker chimes in with off-topic observations: two sips

    Oh man, but for example a KF post… well sometimes you just don’t know.

  29. 29
    Carrie Lofty says:

    Kalen, do you think such a t-shirt would get you more or less attention than that particular anatomical region received at nationals last year? I only ask coz Moi of the Eternally Flatchested craves a bit of notice—from someone other than my trained-not-to-be-picky hubby.

  30. 30
    Kalen Hughes says:

    Ya got me on that one, lovelysalome. LOL! I miss the days when I was a more reasonable B-cup. *sigh* I wore a scoop-neck T-shirt at Disneyland a couple months ago and a tween boy actually walked smack into a post. Poor little blighter.

Comments are closed.

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