When Sarah and I first started this site, we decided on Smart Bitch Aristocratic Titles for ourselves. She was Duchess of Cuntington, and I was Baroness Gant D’Amour. Now, after unravelling the explosive mystery of my secret paternity, which may or may not involve the King of Sardinia, the mysterious disappearance of a gallon of lube and several cans of shaving cream, a villainous group of crocodile smugglers, an international ring of jewel thieves composed of vegan Maenads, and a burly footman named Morris, I found out I was heir to another title:
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My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Milady the Most Honourable Candy the Extemporaneous of Deep Throcking Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
What’s your title?
Venerable Lady Jessica the Insouciant of Greater Sodbury
Nice. I’m feeling an urge to lie back and eat bonbons.
Her Most Serene Highness Lady Jennie the Elegant of Westley Waterless
(Does the waterless part mean I won’t get PMS bloating anymore??) 😆
Countess-Palatine Rosemary the Liminal of Throcking in the Hole
It’s been a while since I’ve been throcked in any form or fashion. Liminally or otherwise.
Viscountess Kiku the Recumbent of Midhoop St Giggleswich
I think I’ll go lie down . . .
Her Excellency Azteclady the Cosmopolitan of Molton St Anywhere.
Cosmopolitan? Why, yes, thank you.
Viscountess Soni the Paragon of Kesslington under Ox
*snerk*
Now that’s a porno just waiting to happen.
I’m Lady Madame Maggie the Precocious of Walk upon Water…apparently with a Jesus complex.
Your Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Her Most Noble Lady Renee the Wholesome of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Wholesome. That’s exactly the word I was hoping would describe me.
I am the Entirely Miss Reverend Lady Kerry the Cannibalistic of Helions Bumpstead
I like the cannibalistic bit. Instead of a hoopskirt, I am bare-breasted, covered in blue paint, and have a bone piercing my septum.
Imperial Majesty Jmc the Omnipresent of Brompton Underfoot
I feel like I should recline on a divan in my imperial majesty, with slave boys fanning me and peeling grapes. 😉
Imperial Majesty Arethusa the Subservient of Oxbridge by Camford
Oxbridge! That’s perfect. I can be a majestic academic forever and ever, and be so absentminded as to forget that “subservient” bit.
All rise for Lady Karibelle the Cannibalistic of Menzies on the Minges.
When I first saw it I thought it said “Menses” and thought “Yeah, that’s about right.”
Now I am off to procure Midol.
Entirely Miss Reverend Lady Rachael the Formidable of Wallop upon Deane
well, at least i get to do some walloping. And hey, I’m formidable!
Imperial Majesty Madd the Lush of Lardle St Earache
:shut: And may I say that I am truly pleased that not one of these titles is peculiar….
Reverend Countess Kathy the Inchoate of Goosnargh Leering
Does this mean I am offically cleared to leer at hotties? And maybe goosnargh a few?
I really enjoy the Smart Bitches!
Marchioness Renee the Abstemious of Biggleswade by Biscuit
Oooh Biscuits lovely, I’ll take those to be English biscuits not American with gravy biscuits
Duchess Lisa the Wholesome of Middle Witchampton
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title
All I know is, there’s a lot of throcking going on in that hole.
OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
Her Eminence the Empress Wryhag the Vehement of Much Madness Upon Avon
Mine was;
Milady the Most Honourable Mariah the Smoked of Much Bottom
Lady Madame Jaye the Splendid of Middle Witchampton.
Aww… I’m splendid. Who knew?
Happy Solstice every one! (Hmmm… Witchampton. Somehow, so appropriate.)
I don’t think I will ever relinquish “Cuntington” as a title. I love it like you have no idea.
Grand Duchess Darlene the Antediluvian of Old Throcking in the Hole.
Hey! How did they know I was already Duchess Twitterpants? It’s nice to be bumped up a notch in the ol’ duchesshood biz.
Why didn’t I get the Smoked of Much Bottom, eh?
Empress Amelia the Unhyphenated of Much Moulding upon Carpet
I just got done taking a nasty exam, so mine seemed particularly appropriate…
Countess Summer the Somnolent of Similar Ealand
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i’m “Her Eminence the Very Viscountess Shaina the Bibulous of Lardle Midhoop”, and my friend is “Her Most Serene Highness Lady Tabitha the Unhyphenated of Witchampton Under Buzzard”
how do they come up with these things?!
Mine is Lady Sandra the Foamy of Lower Hellswicke.
And I beg to differ, my lower hellswicke have never foamed! I know, I’ve looked. 😉
Her Exalted Highness Duchess Tania the Glutinous: of Mellow under Trollness
I’m glutinous. Cool. 😀
(And I “needs29.” Yeah, that seems a good age for me.)
Reverend Lady Prudence the Subversive of Deepest Throcking
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title
Subversive???? Little old me. No where the hell did they get an idea like that. And where is throking by the way? And doesn’t have and peasents running round to look after all of these up an comeing aristocrates. It would be a socioligists field day!
Her Noble Excellency Megan the Unctuous of Dicken St Charles
Dicken St Charles…hee hee
Ok, I couldn’t resist. In addition to being Duchess Cuntington, I’m also:
Venerable Lady Sarah the Potential of New Scagglethorpe
Empress Kaite the Dejected of Menzies on the Minges
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title
Sorry, meant to comment—
I’m not all that dejected, but it’s good to be Empress.
And anyone who reads the books by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child will understand when I say, the Menzies bit? Yeah. Cool.
Her Exalted Highness Duchess Nora the Cosmopolitan of New Invention
I enjoy being exalted and cosmopolitan, but I don’t want to invent anything. That’s what minnions are for.
You heard it here first: Nora Roberts apparently invented the cosmopolitan, probably while seeking “adult beverages” after we snarked on Hungarian Eve Dallas.
Countess-Palatine Ceilidh the Tremulous of Giggleswick under Table
Oh the fun you can have giggling under a table. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more.
I didn’t have much time to write when I posted my title, but I’d like to say that I was giddy with delight at being both imperially majestic and lush!
Marchioness Salome the Paragon of Hoptonshire by Leer
Dude, I was hopped on last night. But hubby’s name is Keven, not Leer.
Salome,
Baroness Huntinne-Muffine
Her Royal Highness Stef the Profuse of Leg over Wallop
Is that a comment on the thighs?
Milady the Right Reverend Keziah the Rustic of Bumpstead under Carpet.
I so like to be right.