Yeah, we bitches not above some scandalmongering every now and again. So a little birdie told us that Laurell K. Hamilton was given the ole what-for during Archon for all the sexx0ring in her books—told off by other writers, no less. Anyone have any details? Anyone?
Sigismund…that’s the penguin AB had right? Now see I’d forgotten.
Uptight…LKH and to many of her die-hard fans accuse her detractors of mass sexual repression. Bull. Bull. Bull. Let her and her fans deal with our bitching like big people.
I dealt with my displeasure by taking the advise of one of her fans and that lady on LKH’s blog – I quit buying and reading her books. (when you’re right you’re right) If I get curious I can always go to my favorite UBS and give my money to Asa (owner). If her former fans really want to effect change they would stop buying them also. I cannot believe how many of the people who are unhappy with the direction of the series are still buying the books. They’re cancelling themselves out.
LKH has gotten to be a sloppy writer – period. There’s no excuse for some of the errors I’ve seen in her books. I’ve considered buying a copy, marking it up and then sending it back to the publisher and demanding a refund. Don’t think it would go anywhere but it entertains me.
Truth be told, the main thing I liked about her early books was that they were fun, with fascinating characters. They were never great literature or even above average. Just brain candy. That’s not a bad thing.
Harlan Ellison doesn’t have any business being rude to anybody, even LKH. He should get over himself. Of course, so should LKH.
But I give LKH credit. How many other authors do we devote this much time to reviling? There’s even the LKH Lashout board that is completed devoted to lambasting her. And hell, part of what got me writing again was that I knew I could do better than her. If I ever win a writing award I’ll be sure to credit her in my speech.
Nora, which anthology were you in with LKH. That might have been the first thing of yours I read. A lady werewolf and a vet maybe?
“…red polo shirt, red socks, black shoes and black jeans…”
Don’t forget the fanny pack. Anita Blake is one of the worst dressed characters in fiction.
Hi Nora!
YES. THE FANNY PACK.
She’d go out and raise the dead looking like a tourist at Disneyland. Mercy.
Of course, given the dual meanings of “fanny” in US and UK English, it might not be so inappropriate that she’d strap a second fanny across her backside. She’d need one.
Hello, my name is Shaunee and I’ve been clean and sober since Narcissus in Chains. Okay that’s a lie. I bought the offering that came out maybe 4 books ago, read 50 pages, got tired of plotlessness and typos and took it back for a refund. Have been in recovery ever since.
Didn’t she also wear spandex biker shorts a la MC Hammer’s back-up dancers with those lame Reeboks and matching socks?
Does AB still dress this way? Or has fuck fest 2000-2006 changed her fashion sense? Oh my God! Tell me she’s not wearing stripper shoes! Can a person really raise the dead in six-inch clear platform heels?
This discussion has been mesmerizing. I’ve never read a word LKH has written, but now—maybe as a way of learning through negative example—I’m tempted either to borrow some of her books from the library or buy them at a resale shop (ain’t payin’ no steenking retail price for ‘em—not after reading these comments!)
But I gotta confess, as an Ellora’s Cave author myself, it can be a struggle to maintain not just the dimensionality but the very existence of richly imagined and well executed fictional elements (plot, characterization, setting, dialogue, you know the list). Slurp-‘n’-burp, boink-‘n’-oink, ram-‘n’-jam sell quite well…which explains, in large part, writers’ willingness to strip their stories of all “superfluities” and get right down to the, uh, bone. Over and over again, ad nauseam. It’s what publishers believe readers want. (Obviously, though, this doesn’t pertain to authors who’ve already made it big and don’t need to pander to publishers’ demands or expectations. At least, I don’t think this pertains to them. So Hamilton doesn’t seem to have much of an excuse for churning out crap.)
As many of you pointed out, the solution is obvious. If more readers demanded, via their buying habits, more plot with their hot, a process of natural selection would take place and many hacks would fall by the wayside.
For those who say stop buying, many of people have. Me, I just wanted to see if Anita was off her back and once I realized that she wasn’t I took the book back to my local bookstore and requested a refund.
When asked why, I told them; “You shouldn’t be hiding porn in the Sci Fi section.”
Most people, or the disgruntled fans; as we are called, still like the books before Anita became Jean Claude’s bottom bitch.
I don’t think it’s wrong to want an answer about what happened. The speculation about Anita being infected with the Arduer or being a Succubus, simply sucks ass as a reason. Anita become Regina, Nimir Ra, Lupa, Bolverek and all around Queen de Facto because she’s the main character, sucks ass as well.
I don’t like being giving, “I got tired of writing death, so I had to add something life affirming…..”
I wanted to run down to local strip and tell the “Girls” there, “Hey when the next cop arrests you tell him you’re offering a public service. What I do is Life Affirming!”
Telling me that Anita is now a walking CATDOG because she’s a NECroMAncer just ain’t flying nor is telling me it’s because it’s a MAGIKAL virus. That’s a bunch of bull and the author had just wreck her entire series, because the next question is: “Then why the FRECK was Richard standing in line? How did he get it from a batch of bad Were Be Gone?
Sure, I can definitely not buy the books, sure she won’t be getting my money, but that still doesn’t negate the fact that her series is unravelling like a bad lie.
Don’t forget the fanny pack. Anita Blake is one of the worst dressed characters in fiction.
Her and her Ren-fest reject men with their thigh-high boots over jeans with billowy tucked in shirts. In one book J-C actually wore a sheer red blouse with satin cuffs.
An old lady shirt, in other words.
I always wonder what these outfits actually look like in LKH’s head. Is she seeing what I’m seeing…and liking it? Because I’d assume a guy wearing some of the stuff she puts her men in was gay. And not just gay—flaming, submissive bottom gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course, but it doesn’t attract me).
Finding a copy editor who can find and fix tense changes that occur every three sentences or so would be an even better challenge to meet.
I fully admit is still read both LKH series – but then my first exposure was Kiss of Shadows. I didn’t like the first 2 Anita books (although now I get the character reference to Anita the PA in Mercedes Lackey’s Beyond World’s End who needed to get away from her previous life). And I fully admit to the train wreck syndrome but I also like the characters. She even almost had a plot in the last AB book. My biggest greif is that there was a reasonable timeline so that I don’t feel so disjointed when I read them. Also, about a third of the book is repeated text that is in every single book which I’m used to cause I read noir mysteries but it is a little annoying to think that Anita has morphed in character but not in verbage. meh
Finding a copy editor who can find and fix tense changes that occur every three sentences or so would be an even better challenge to meet. ~ Candy
*Snort* Of course now I have to go back and tense change the ever loving fuck out of it and insist it be published “as-is”. Also the code is Dot Net 2005 so you’re gonna need to do some research if you want to find bugs in the code.
I’m now amused at the thought of you digging up obscure tenses just to flummox and fluster the pedants. “Ha haaa, pluperfect subjunctive for THIS sentence—let’s see you deal with that one.”
I’m now amused at the thought of you digging up obscure tenses just to flummox and fluster the pedants. “Ha haaa, pluperfect subjunctive for THIS sentence—let’s see you deal with that one.†~ Candy
For you? Anything. It’s the least I can do for the entertainment you and Sarah provide.
OK The Human Detection Word is student69. Am I the only one who thinks that’s … messed up?
The problem with LKH’s books, though, is that they’re not hot (that much description of clinical, joyless sex for no apparent reason—boring, not hot) and there’s no plot.
Evidently the sex quotient did up the reader quotient, but I can’t imagine that’s going to last long, given the amount of criticism she’s getting.
ANITA BLAKE VAMPIRE HUNTER 12 STEP
Step 1 – I admitted I am powerless over my addiction to Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novels – that my life had become unmanageable as I kept reading plotless, badly edited novels full of body counts numbered not in kills but in how many supernaturals were bedded.
Step 2 – I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity and help me refuse to be tempted to read or buy the next Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novel.
Step 3 – I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God I understand to be a God that loves me and does not wish me to waste 4-5 hours of my life that I will never get back reading an Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novel.
Step 4 – I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and learned that I can live without vampires with drowning deep eyes, floor length hair, peek-a-boo shirts and over the knee leather boots.
Step 5 – I admitted to God, to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs which include overlooking plot inconsistencies, mangled French phrases and the unlikelihood of preternatural penis of immense proportions that instantly bring our heroine to shattering ecstasy
Step 6 – I was entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character and help me to never buy another Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novel again
Step 7 – I humbly asked God to remove my shortcomings and not be fooled by cover blurbs saying “Hamilton takes her world by the teeth and delivers another gripping installment…â€
Step 8 – I made a list of all persons I had harmed by introducing them to the Anita Black Vampire Hunter novels, and I became willing to make amends to them all- to apoligize for introducing them to a series that had slowly, perceptibly and effortfully devolved into crap.
Step 9 – I made direct amends to such people I had introduced to the series wherever possible by telling them to under no circumstances read beyond Obsidian Butterfly lest they be scarred by images of wereleopards tumbling naked into bed like puppies, Anita acquiring a supernatural power every 60 pages or so, endless and artless descriptions of giving fellatio and or performing another unsexy and soulless sex act.
Step 10 – I continued to take personal inventory of why I was initially attracted to this series and hoping that these qualities would return- I read chapters of the next Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novel in the library or at a Barnes & Noble. I realized I was wrong for doing so and promptly admitted it.
Step 11 – I sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God as I understand God, praying for knowledge of God’s will for me to live a productive life of enjoying novels that bring excitement and wonder instead of novels that leave me feeling duped, used and abused by an author who has abandoned what craft she has for a royalty check. I sought through prayer the knowledge of God’s will and the power to carry out that will and JUST PUT THE NEXT ANITA BLAKE VAMPIRE HUNTER NOVEL DOWN!!!
Step 12 – Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I tried to carry this message to other Anita Black Vampire Hunter novel addicts, and to practice these principles in all my affairs.
Put down the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novel down, bitches. Spread the word.
“If you like LKH…..â€, “Another intriguing read … same style as LKH.â€
If I read that I automatically think of the earlier books the ones that made me really look for supernatural books written with a strong female lead
I have been LKH free since about 50 pages into Cerulean Sins, you know the scene where she becomes like a waterfall in her office with people waiting outside the door no less.
I started reading the Anita books because I loved her spunk and her conflicting emotions with who she was becoming. I liked the Anita that worried about being a Big Ho. I could care less if there was sex in a book or not BUT I agree that the series has become so different it may as well be an entirely different series.
I mourn for the Anita I loved and have sworn off all LKH books because of it.
Acajou, I would like to thank you for the Anita Blake 12-step program. Now if I only have the strength to follow it.
I was ranting about one of the recent books to my (nearly grown) daughter, who is smart enough to stay far away from LKH altogether. About half-way through the rant, Sweet-Pea interrupted me with, “Wait. Are you saying this chick had the Master Vampire of the City of St. Louis AND the Wolf King and she threw them both out for a cute kitty-boy?â€
Pause. “Well, several cute kitty-boys. And she didn’t throw them out so much as she just confiscated their testicles.â€
“Okay Mom, I know you can’t seem to stop reading the books, but could you at least get them from the library and stop paying money for them?â€
I’m going to share the 12-step program with her. She’ll like it a lot.
December…dittos on Anita Blake and clothing. I enjoy fashion, studied it in college, and can usually find something to like in most fashion genre…even goth can be fun. But Anita & Co. are hopelessly awful…and then she braggs about her big hanging boobs (TMI). HEY, maybe ‘What Not To Wear’ can do a makeover on LKH?!?
Wry Hag…‘more readers should demand more plot with their hot’. I often hope that will be the case, but then I walk past the Harlequin section and see all the baby, daddy, shiek, boss, and virgin titles…eeek. It’s distressing that enough people actually read that crap that it’s profitable to print…it’s a depressing observation about my fellow readers.
I’m doing my part to support quality authors, but some other readers are scary.
dl… A depressing observation about our fellow readers, indeed. Especially for authors who do want to produce more than titty-titty-bang-bang.
I like hot, but I NEED plot. *whining* Why can’t we have both???
In the latest book (Danse Macabre, I believe), everyone – regardless of gender or species – does the mattress rhumba with amazing frequency and nauseating detail every several pages.
And there’s BALLET. Whoopty-fuckles. Long-haired dancing vampires.
Super.
Alas, once upon a time, Anita had some lines she wouldn’t cross, homosexuality being one of them. She had a fairly well-developed rigid moral/ethical code. She had BALLS of her own. She carried a storyline with verve and dark charm and a curious bafflement as to her powers and how they worked. She was blackly quirky, oddly endearing and walked the line between human and paranormal with panache in her matching socks and polos.
Now, she’s more of a monster than any of her pets.
With the addition of the ardeur (meaning: Anita can bang everyone six ways from Sunday and does, all without guilt or remorse or even a thought for her much-crossed-over-and-obliterated moral lines of previous books), she gets double stuffed and multi-hole porked quite regularly from an astonishing array of (GAK!) floor-length-haired male partners from a variety of sexual persuasions and species.
I’m done buying Anita because she has morphed into a conscienceless, itch-scratching whore, rather than the talented, abysmally-dressed-but-color-coordinated necromancer of the first several books. I’m also done buying Anita because she has no redeeming qualities at this point. Furthermore, I’m done buying Anita because there is such a thing as gratuituous sex and I’ve *gasp* reached my personal banging-for-the-heck-of-it quota through these books.
And why would I buy her when every Tomcat, Horsedick and Hairyman gets her for free???
I can’t forgive that LKH turned Anita into something (she’s not even a someONE anymore to me…she’s a “gleaming orifice” as a Bitchery member already posted) that’s a complete polar opposite from the character readers got to know and love in the early books of this series.
My problem with Anita isn’t so much her past as her present.
And all that in buttery-soft leather boots with a 4 to 6-inch heel, lovingly provided for her by the oh-so-suave and perfectly turned out lace-wearing metrosexu-vamp fop, Jean-Claude.
Gag me with a stake. Someone should stake HIM and put him out of his misery.
And I swear by all that’s holy, if Richard doesn’t stop his infernal whining and tortured pseudo-hero claptrap, I’ll scream and throw things. Talk about pussified – that’s Richard. Maybe he could go on the Wizard of Oz reality show and ask the Wiz for a backbone. HOW CAN HE BE THE WOLF KING AND BE SUCH A FRICKING PANSY???
If she screws up Edward, I’ll just cry.
Poor Anita. Poor Sigmund. Poor us.
Oh, wait. I’m not buying these anymore. But I caved and bought the last one. In HC. After I swore that I wouldn’t.
And herein lies the problem. How can I be so emotionally invested in such suck-assedy characters living in Porno Plotland????
I guess I need that 12-Step Program after all…
P.S ~ I want to see Merry and Tentacle Man, too.
I was at Archon here in Collinsville.
First, Nora Roberts wasn’t even there. She has never attended Archon. I may have missed one or two in the past 20 years but since I do like her stuff, I am sure I would have heard.
Second, I attended those panels and nothing like what is reported occured. Wishful thinking on someone part.
And I do know someone I trust who saw the Harlan and Laurell panel at another con, I believe it was HorrorCon in Kansas. Harlan was being his usual self, for which he doesn’t apologize, to anyone. I have seen him before and he is equally rude to writers and fans.
He did tell Laurell to shut the fuck up but it was in response to her answering a question and suggesting some of the other panelist answer it too. No one asked a rude question.
It is simply someone being nasty and trying to stir up trouble where none existed. Rumor mongering, the great internet sport.
VERY SORRY
naked white girls
free celebrity sex clips
Well now there’s a contest going to find a stage name for Jason, the prize is an original autographed copy of BN.
She will be shagging Edward, to prove to him that marriage and monogamy are not for people like them, who and how better to find this out from than a friend with the bestest sex in the country.
She will also use sex to cure or help peter accept that rough sex is perfectly fine if you’re with the right person and that person will of course be Anita aka La fourche de la ruine.
Later on she will get groovy in a walk in bathtub with a senior citizen.