A call for gossip!

Yeah, we bitches not above some scandalmongering every now and again. So a little birdie told us that Laurell K. Hamilton was given the ole what-for during Archon for all the sexx0ring in her books—told off by other writers, no less. Anyone have any details? Anyone?

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  1. 1
    Raina_Dayz says:

    “I’ve been trying to do a blog about Archon since Sunday when we got home, but it just isn’t coming. I end up sounding tired or grumpy, and I don’t mean to. “

    My husband sent me that quote from her blog.  I am definitely a little too thrilled with her discomfort here, but it is nice to hear her being called up about this.  She doesn’t give a rat’s ass about her long term reader’s opinions, and she’s been extremely clear about that philosophy of hers for a long time. (She has said on her blog that hearing from her fans that they want less sex makes her want to write MORE of it).  It’s easy for her to do I am sure when she is consistently riding bestseller lists.  But seriously,  if you’re going to change genres mid-series, just write a new series, don’t break our former Anita-loving hearts. 

    Whew it is impossible for me to write about this without getting on my soapbox.  I think I did pretty well, considering, soapbox wise.  So much bitterness stored up about one little topic!

    Is anyone else scared of the upcoming threatened Edward appearance?  I am terrified to discover how she can pussify him.  If they fuck I am gonna be pissed!

  2. 2
    Katie says:

    You know, I never had a problem with the sexx0ring (although it is pretty bad) as much as the blatant Mary Sue-ism. (In her next book, “Sexy Restaurant Name” Anita Blake defeats God in hand-to-hand combat while simultaneously having sex with the entire vampiric council (except the women). Later in the book, she discovers her newfound power of shitting gold bricks, each of which is regarded as a holy relic by the local werewolf pack.)

    Still, I want to know what was said!

  3. 3
    SB Sarah says:

    “her newfound power of shitting gold bricks, each of which is regarded as a holy relic by the local werewolf pack”

    Ok, I about fell over laughing at that. HA! I once read, and I think cited here, a review from a friend of mine, JenFu, who hated that Anita collected powers like charms on a charm bracelet. Such Mary-Sue-Ism made her want to pound her head on the wall (JenFu, not Anita).

    I’m so curious about this gossip, though.

  4. 4
    Kaite says:

    *snerk* Ok, granted, I got bored with and gave up on the Anita Blake series long before she became a giant, glistening orifice to the entire world, but I’m more than a little amused to hear Blake got some shit from fellow writers.

    I guess all the reader bitching in the world isn’t enough to motivate her to care, but give her heck from fellow wordsmiths and she gets annoyed!

    Wah, poor Laurell. I weep tears of blood for you, I’m sure.

  5. 5
    Raina_Dayz says:

    Kaite that was too funny.  I’m dying here laughing.  I’ve read alot of Anita Blake snark but that was the prize.

  6. 6
    Nifty says:

    “Kaite that was too funny.  I’m dying here laughing.  I’ve read alot of Anita Blake snark but that was the prize.”

    Same here, Katie.  And yet…it was all so, so true.

  7. 7
    Whitters says:

    Ooh, I can’t wait to hear the details when they finally emerge. I was a fan of the Anita Blake series way back when it was damn near impossible to find any of the books (I first started reading them in ‘97). For me, the series started going downhill in a hurry after Blue Moon, but I’ve tried, so very hard, to give LKH the benefit of the doubt. Cerulean Sins was the straw that broke this camel’s back.

    The Mary Sue-ism, the taking out her frustrations on people in her life by vilifying once-likeable characters, the endless BADLY WRITTEN sex, the lack of any obvious plot…I just can’t take it anymore. LKH was never a technically great writer anyway, but she at least had interesting characters and intriguing storylines. Now? It’s all crap on a crap cracker.

  8. 8
    Jackie says:

    “(In her next book, “Sexy Restaurant Name” Anita Blake defeats God in hand-to-hand combat while simultaneously having sex with the entire vampiric council (except the women). Later in the book, she discovers her newfound power of shitting gold bricks, each of which is regarded as a holy relic by the local werewolf pack.)”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

    ((wipes tears from eyes))

    This is priceless!

    But OMFG, she’s bringing Edward back? Oh no. I’m still crushing on him. Big time. I don’t know if I can handle him returning.

    Hey—maybe he’ll kill Anita. Or maybe the serial killer dude from OB will stalk her and kill her. A lot. And Edward will watch. Hmmm…..

  9. 9
    Jackie says:

    …And I’m eagerly awaiting the gossip.

  10. 10
    dl says:

    Ditto on the kudos to Katie.  Excuse me now as I chuckle my way through morning chores.

    I have found recent AB offerings to be seriously lacking in any directional plot…except horizontal.  Where’s the action, the plot, the adventure?

    …and, where’s the gossip?

  11. 11
    Jennifer says:

    Oh, please, you know she’ll be fucking Edward in this one. She can’t leave a man behind!

    I’m amazed LKH even mentioned online at all that this Archon thing existed, witnesses to the contrary. That goes against her usual MO.

  12. 12
    AngieZ says:

    Oh, please, you know she’ll be fucking Edward in this one. She can’t leave a man behind!

    Edward will be begging to fuck Anita and Jean Claude while tendering stroking Nathaniel.  He will profess his undying love for being a submissive and beg Micah to leash him and call him whipping worm.  Richard will stand by with the others crying at Anita feet.

    Instead of taking place in one day in a bedroom, it will take place in on hour with a mile long line of men holding numbers from one of those number machines at the deli.  Maybe they could cross over Mary Gentry’s bodygards to act as bouncers incase someone trys to go over their alloted 30 seconds per each of Anita glistening orafices. 

    How boring can she possibly get.

  13. 13
    Kaite says:

    Kaite that was too funny.

    Y’all’s welcome. Anything I can do to brighten your days.  ;-)

    Or maybe the serial killer dude from OB will stalk her and kill her. A lot.

    HA! I might tune in for that scene. As noted, I haven’t read in quite a while, but I got a friend into her books and I get constant grief and updated booty counts from her. By now, I want Anita Blake dead. Hopefully dead by sexual frustration, because then there might actually be a *plot* involved.

    And I spotted an error in my original post—I said “I’m more than a little amused to hear Blake got some shit from fellow writers.” I meant I’m more than a little amused to hear HAMILTON got some shit from fellow writers.”

    And the book summary for “Sexy Restaurant Name”? Pure. Genius. Particularly the gold bricks part.  :snake:

  14. 14
    kardis says:

    Yes, I too give you kudos Kaite- well done! When I first read that Edward was coming back I saw red. He is my favorite character and if they fuck (yes, I know they will, of course they will) I’ll throw the book THROUGH the damn wall. And then I’ll have a lot of explaining to do to my landlord as well as the library. God, LKH is the poster child for authors gone bad. I can’t wait to hear what was actually said to her.

  15. 15
    Kassiana says:

    Now, now…we all know that the next novel, Dracula Disco (hey, at least then the title would be a reference to a good song), will involve Edward finally giving Anita anal. With guns.

    Don’t we?

    So can anyone tell me why Laurie dear doesn’t bother having anything resembling proofreading any more? Incubus Dreams made me sick (I actually whited out and wrote in correct spellings all over that book), and Danse Macabre’s even more awful.

  16. 16
    KariBelle says:

    (In her next book, “Sexy Restaurant Name” Anita Blake defeats God in hand-to-hand combat while simultaneously having sex with the entire vampiric council (except the women). Later in the book, she discovers her newfound power of shitting gold bricks, each of which is regarded as a holy relic by the local werewolf pack.)

    The sad thing is that until I got to the gold bricks part I totally thought Katie had read a summary of the next book.  It just sounded so much like something LKH would do.

  17. 17
    Amy E says:

    Okay, well, this clears some things up.  The first AB book I read was Incubus Dreams—or rather, the first I attempted to read.  After a couple chapters of pointless fuckage, I put it down.  It might still be lurking in the depths of shadow behind the dresser… where the Bad Books go…

  18. 18
    Zoe Archer says:

    Can someone explain the concept of “Mary-Sue” to me?  I’ve seen it bandied about within the context of Bitchery, and now my curiosity is piqued.

  19. 19

    If I recall right, Mary Sues are characters that nothing really bad ever happens to and they’re essentially prefect, usually in context of the author projecting their own idealized image onto a character.

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Ann Aguirre says:

    Yep. MarySue is the bestest, brightest, smartest, sweetest, toughest, cleverist, mostest magickal powers (sometimes in her very hoo-hoo!) and everyone loves her, longs for her, and wishes he (or she) could lick up her armpit sweat. I’ve very seldom seen a more textbook example of that than Merry Gentry.

  22. 22

    The kind of heroines I want to bitchslap into a coma. Though, of course, they’d just lie there pristine, like Snow White in her glass coffin.

  23. 23
    Ann Aguirre says:

    I always hear that cheesy Carpenters song in my head, when I think of MerrySue. “Why do birds suddenly appear…”

    BTW I blogged about MarySue-ness for SBD.

  24. 24
    desertwillow says:

    So nobody knows? I want to know what was said! Writers ripping LKH! I would love to hear about that. Not so much cause of the sexorama in her books, although that is a good part of it, but more the sloppy, half-assed job she’s been doing at writing. The last time I read one of her books I kept a pencil close by to mark all the errors.

    And bring back Edward! Go for it, the job she did on him in OB was the most anticlimactic episode in crap literature. How can she do any worse?

    Even with these writers crawling on her she’s still selling books and making money…It ain’t right.

  25. 25
    Lila says:

    Is it true that she has a bodyguard that travels with her?

    Also on MJD’s blog she said the LKH had a 5 min disclaimer about questions the audience could not ask. Is this an exageration?

  26. 26
    dl says:

    MJD isn’t exactly Snow White herself, she was off my auto-buy list before LKH.

    Anybody with the scoop?  Please…somebody…anybody?  Any distraction, please, from NUG (No Underwear Girl, down there in Hollywood).  A term I borrowed from the daughters dance class…while panties are discouraged, it’s not noticable when in proper uniform.  If your peers view the evidence, you earn this unflattering title…and others.

  27. 27
    dl says:

    Raina…I didn’t catch that one, don’t often check LKH’s blog.  Last one I saw for her, she was rambling on about comics, wererat genitilia, and full frontal nudity.  Maybe it’s just me, but…Eeew, not interested.

  28. 28
    December says:

    The only thing of interest I’ve found thus far is this loose from-memory transcript of a panel, where LKH claims only 1-2% of her readership hates what she’s doing now. Riiight. Only one or two percent, very vocal. You keep believing that.

  29. 29
    December says:

    Okay…let’s try that again.

    transcript

    She claims here it’s only a vocal 1-2% of her fans who hate all the junk she’s throwing out there now. Riiight. Keep believing that, dear.

  30. 30
    shaunee says:

    Any truly delicious gossip to report yet?  I’m dying over here.

    What news?????

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