Last week, Maili made a most interesting post about assumptions other people make about readers who are attracted to romance novels and romantic stories, and why cynics, in particular, are ill-suited to reading romance novels.
I’m still not sure how romance novels came to have all this baggage attached to them, but all I can say is that some of my least cynical friends—the ones most likely to spout “love conquers all” rubbish—wouldn’t touch romance novels with a 20-foot stick. And you don’t hear people making the same assumptions about cynics and, say, fantasy novels and comics, which are often loaded down with even more romantic (and I use this in the larger sense of the word) claptrap than romance novels are. Being a cynic doesn’t mean being unable to suspend some disbelief for fiction, and furthermore, as Rosario pointed out in the comments, not all romance are cloying and schmaltzy in the way people seem to think they are. Maili’s friend, I’m afraid to say, seems to have indulged in some lazy thinking.
Most of my friends are shocked I read and love romance novels, too. Many of them are disappointed—even mildly disgusted—that I do. It’s not because they think I’m too cynical to be a romance reader, however. They’re usually surprised because I don’t fit the kitten-sweatered, chipper, love-sunshine-and-puppies stereotype they hold in their head of what the average romance novel reader looks like and behaves. I’m young(ish). I don’t own a single item of clothing adorned with puffy paint, paste-on jewels or appliquéd baby animals (though my outfit for Santacon last year was sewn all over with tiny beheaded stuffed animals). And although I’m an idealist, I’m one with an unrepentantly evil sense of humor, and I am, at core, a pessimist and a skeptic.
But it’s not just that I don’t look or behave like the stereotype that throws my friends into a tailspin. The refrain I hear most often from my friends is that I shouldn’t be reading romance novels because I am, of all things, too smart to do so. My friend H is most guilty of doing this. “You have so many other good books to read,” she says, a look of bewilderment on her face. “And you’re one of the smartest people I know. I really don’t know why you like those books.”
Which is sort of flattering to my ego, but kind of not-so-much. I get the sense that these friends feel about that aspect of my life the same way I would if I found out a biologist friend of mine was a young earth creationist. “But…but…it makes no sense. There’s absolutely no scientific support, and you should know better.” With my friends, the fact that I read and love romance novels is not just an aesthetic judgment (“You should have better taste, dammit!”), it’s a judgment of my intellect (“You should be smarter than that, dammit!”).
I’m not sure when enjoying romance novels became equated with being stupid, but I know it’s a stereotype that’s been kicking around for a long time—I certainly subscribed to it until I started reading romances myself. Why? Is it the fact that they’re not viewed as being realistic, and that one would have to be stupid to buy into all that nonsense? (I’ve already bellowed and yelled about this issue in a previous rant, so I won’t re-hash it here.) Is it because a genre this popular could not possibly have any intellectual merit? Or is it something else entirely?
So thus far, we’ve determined that according to the non-romance reading public, cynics, smart people and people with taste shouldn’t be reading romance (and, hey, the Greater Washington Initiative agrees—at least, with the last two points). By that standard, I don’t think I should be a romance reader, because I’m somewhat cynical, somewhat smarter than average (if those tests are to be believed, anyway) and I have fabulous fucking taste (anyone who says otherwise will be soundly ignored for being wrong, wrong, wrong).
These assumptions are a big part of the rason why Sarah and I started the site and why we named it what we did, actually—to attract like-minded romance novel readers, so we’d not only have a haven where we can all gather around and talk about love stories, shriek with horror over man-titty and be unabashedly girly every once in a while, but also so we can send a huge collective middle finger to the public and their assumptions about who does and doesn’t read romance.
So: What kind of a romance reader are you? Let’s turn this into an informal and utterly unscientific survey. Tell us as much as you’re comfortable with, but some interesting bits of information would include gender, age, race, national origin, religion, occupation, education level, sexual orientation (yeah, this is a pretty private question, and like I said, totally optional for you to answer, but I want to see whether it’s overwhelmingly straight chicks who read romance, or whether bisexuals and lesbians have love for the torrid love stories, too) and why you read romance novels. I’ll go first:
I was born
a poor black child
in 1978 in Malaysia to Chinese parents who were devout Buddhists. I was a fantastically mediocre student until I started reading heavily at about age seven, at which point my grades saw huge improvements, including my math scores (I used to be dismal at math). For the longest time I classified myself as an agnostic, but recently, I realized I’m more of a weak atheist; when it comes down it, “skeptical foul-mouthed pro-choice fag-lovin’ secular humanist” is a pretty handy descriptor that covers my attitude towards most things. I have a Bachelor of Arts in English from a small, Catholic liberal arts university, and I’m in the process of applying to law school, because my current job (technical writer for a heavy manufacturing facility) isn’t jibing with my save-the-world goals. I’m married to The Tallest Man In the World (OK, not really, but he is 6’8”, which is pretty motherfucking tall), and I’m bisexual with a preference for dudes—I dig androgyny, which is why skinny, pretty men who aren’t afraid to wear skirts have a special place in my heart and my loins. I read romance novels for a whole lot of reasons, but mostly because I’m interested in narratives about love and sex, and because human drama and behavior fascinate me endlessly.
Female, French Canadian, mid-thirties, married with one kid, too cynical to believe in anything bigger than human beings. I agree with George Carlin, who says, as a species, that we’re fucked.
Reading preferences: always was reader of fantasy. Used to spit and stomp on romance because of too many failed tries at Harlequin novels. Discovered romantic genre a couple of years ago and accepted that yes, there’s some bad shit out there, but there are also gems. Was lucky enough to find this site. Gave me hope in the genre. I now read and write both fantasy and romance.
I’m also an older sister, ex-soldier, high school drop-out, dog owner (or dog owned), half couch potato/half intermittent jogger, wannabe renovator and avid reader who watches too much television, sinks too much money in clothes, likes animals more than humans, recycles, wore braces, never downloads copyrighted stuff, was a nerd without the grades, has a belly laugh that turns heads in theaters, can’t stand bullying, is mother hawk more than mother hen, votes even if candidates aren’t that great and thinks formal education is highly overrated (probably because I have little).
Next.
Reading these posts makes me feel less alone. ;D
I started reading romance when I was about 14, on a dare, and just didn’t stop. I’m like the majority of you; I started reading quite young and the YA books when I was that age sucked so I moved on to literature and pulp fiction. I liked the pulp better. My family, also a bunch of bibliophiles, thinks that I am wasting my intelligence on romance novels, but they’re not much more for me than an escape. Oh, and I HATE murder mysteries – I mean, why do I want to read about death? He’s gonna come for me someday, I’d rather not waste my time reading about him.
Demographics?
I’m 22, female, very very white (in the sense that I can’t even tan, I just burn like a mofo), AngloCanadian, completely atheist. My parents didn’t even bother with that stuff. I’m hetero, but think women are much nicer to look at then men, a raging bibliophile, and love the idea of being a “skeptical foul-mouthed pro-choice fag-lovin’ secular humanist”. I have a BA in Modern Languages (aka. the I-suck-at-communicating-in-4-languages-not-just-one BA) and I now live in Germany and teach young German students to hate English. It’s a calling, I guess.
Ooo, maybe I can traslate “skeptical foul-mouthed pro-choice fag-lovin’ secular humanist” into German and teach it to my students? That might excite them…
I was born a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. The youngest of five and only girl in an Irish-Catholic family. I’m a lapsed Catholic. Everyone read in my family; books were everywhere. For the first nine years of my education, the nuns were in charge—I credit them, gratefully, with the discipline and guilt I use daily in my work.
I married the first time at 17. Why didn’t my mother lock me in my room? Ah well. I wanted babies, so I got me two wonderful sons, and got rid of the husband. It was a very good trade.
My math and science skills aren’t, basically, but along with my high school diploma I have two honorary PhDs. I love them because they required no thesis.
I like guys.
I own all seven seasons of Buffy on DVD, and am apparently married to the second tallest guy in the world as he’s a mere 6’7”.
I read and write Romances because relationships fascinate me. Because people, no matter who they are, where they come from, how screwed up they might be seek each other out for sex, for love, for companionship. Because, at the bottom of it, I believe love matters, that it can open us to possibilities and change us for the better.
Books that tell stories of people, their relationships, their emotions, their needs, virtues and flaws are a celebration of what makes us human. That speaks to me.
Wow, we really are a lot of smart bitches.
53, granddaughter of immigrants to the US from Scotland, Italy, and Poland. I was the classic smart girl in the back of the classroom – even have the severe shortsightedness for the role – with 800 and 710 on my SATs, but was an underachiever who consistently disappointed parents and teachers alike. After getting a BA in English, I married (to avoid having to actually do something with my life!), worked minimum-pay jobs and then raised three kids. I returned to college for a teaching certificate when I was in my 40s and am now teaching in a middle school. Currently, I’m working on an MA in literature, and finding it easier than I expected to keep up with the “real” grad students who all seem to be so totally beyond me in terms of knowledge and sophistication.
Oh, and I’m an atheist – went through Methodism, Episcopalianism, and Catholicism before realizing there was nothing there for me. I seem to have raised three librul atheist outrageously funny and intelligent kids in a tiny conservative town. Not sure how that happened, but there you are. I’ve been married for over 25 years, but it devolved into a platonic roommate situation over the last 15 years or so, and so I’m celibate.
I guess I’m pretty far along on the cynicism scale. I suspect I have a bruised romantic inside, since I’m on this site at all, but she’s pretty well shielded most of the time. I trust very few people – probably only my children. Certainly not my coworkers, and definitely not the rest of my fanily.
I was always a voracious reader, and sampled some romance novels back in the 70s and 80s, when rapist heroes were thick on the ground. Not my thing, and I mostly stuck to other genres until recently. I’m trying to ease back into the genre, as an alternative to the canon and litcrit I’m reading for classes.
Right now, I have a love/hate relationship with romance. Although I like happy endings, I seldom can identify with them, since I’ve never experienced the sort of passion that’s usually depicted. That leaves me feeling rather depressed, as in WTF is wrong with *me*, that I never found a relationship like that, and never will? OTOH, if I tell myself that the romance story is a kind of fantasy, then I can buy the premise, so I tend to mentally stick romance in a slot within the fantasy genre (the characters and plots in no way reflect my reality, yanno?). I do prefer to avoid “straight up” romance, usually sticking to fantasy/romance or suspense/romance, anything in which there’s a plot not focused exclusively on the love story. That tends to ease the sting of feeling left out of the loop, so to speak.
Reading the cross-genre books also keeps me turning the pages to see how the story turns out; a plain ol’ romance is going to have the HEA preordained, so I lose interest when I already know the ending, and usually can’t finish those.
I’m 26 years old. My father is a retired school principal who teaches education part-time to college students. My mother’s a school librarian. I’m a librarian too, but of the corporate variety.
I was always several reading levels ahead of most kids my age, and I read ALL the time. By the time I was ten, I was reading the classics – Main Street, The Jungle, Wuthering Heights. I discovered romance novels around age 12, and my parents discouraged me from reading too many of them, wanting me to read something “better.” For a while, I went back to reading Literature, but while in graduate school, I moved back to romance. Yes, I know what’s going to happen. But it’s like my new favorite tv show, Heroes, in that way. I know that this season will end with defeating Sylar and saving New York. It’s the getting there that’s fun.
gender: female
age: 23
race: caucasian
national origin: American mutt. Irish, French, German, Scottish, Russian, and a touch of Cherokee. I like to say I’m a war on the British waiting to happen.
religion: Generic sort of Protestant. I have a lot of ideas I haven’t seen accepted by any denomination, but I think I’m Christian in the important ways.
occupation: substitute reference librarian
education: B.A. in Latin, working on a masters of library science
sexual orientation: straight
I read everything. I probably read my first Romance novel in the past two years, because that was when I first saw one that looked interesting. If I see it and it catches my eye, or if a review gives me the idea that I’d like it, I read it, and who cares about genre? (Thanks to this site for introducing me to P.C. Cast, by the way.)
I’m 27, female, heterosexual, and emphatically, eternally single. (I suppose that might fit the cliche.) I was born and grew up in the Pacific Northwest with the whitest parents you could find, though I have since lived in the Midwest and am now in Pennsylvania. I got my bachelor’s degree with Latin honors in English in 2001, my master’s in English in 2003, and should have my PhD in nineteenth-century Brit Lit some time next year.
While I admit to my peers that I enjoy romance novels and chick lit, I always say it half-defiantly, half-shamed. But I don’t really care that much what they think. I’ve always been a voracious reader, and will read anything if I think it’s good. I think the diversity of my reading tastes make me a more interesting person, and certainly a better scholar. I read fantasy, sci-fi, superhero comics, young adult novels, “literary” fiction, mysteries, and romance with equal delight…but it seems like the only one that people are likely to judge me for is the romance.
On the bright side, I can finally bond with my mom over books, and that’s worth a lot to me.
Reading all this is SO interesting, but I only have 25 minutes left on the computer. So I’ll write my own little bit now, and read on at a later time.
I’m a 23 year old female (not a girl, not yet a woman?) from the Netherlands, and English is my second language. Nevertheless, I read a lot of romance and chick-lit in English, even though it is hard to come by here.
I, like my sister, am intelligent above average. My knowing this without ever having been tested is obvious proof of this fact. I’m horrible with sciences and math, but am a complete language buff.
At the moment I’m working a job that pays well, but bugs me to no end, I’m suffering from mild depression, and I can’t wait until I finally get to go back to school. Which will be next September. The plan is to do a combined MA in English and American Studies, while also attaining a high school teaching license. Hopefully, 2 years into my studies, I will be allowed to spend a term in the US.
I hardly ever admit that I read romance and chick lit (I hate that term, really), because people do seem to think you must be an airhead. And following up an admission of reading romance with “but I’ve read War & Peace too!” just seems sort of sad.
My Harlequins sit in a box that’s all their own. I used to call it my goodie-box, but that seemed to have other associations for some. So now it’s known as the Box of Shame. My other romances and chick lits sit second row on my bookshelves. It’s quite sad, really.
I’d love an edit button right now, as I noticed I forgot quite a couple of things.
Well, I said I was from the Netherlands. My parents were atheist/fallen catholic, and divorced when I was 9. Both remarried, my father to a woman who would manage to estrange him from his kids, my mom to a lovely man. Both my parents, and my stepdad, hold several university degrees (MA’s), and lean to the left-side of the political spectrum. Which is how I was raised. I was a tiny disappointment, as I only started out for a BA in Tourism management and consultancy. But it did allow my to travel a lot, and figure out what I want to do with my life. Not to mention enable a depression. But whatever. I got my BA in 2005, with a 9/10 for a thesis that tied Jane Austen and the Brontë‘s to British Tourism. And I’m still darn proud of that.
Oh, and I am straight, though I do think that girls are actually prettier than men.
Note to Rosemary: Elizabeth Cadell. Not Calder. No wonder I feel old. Oh, forgot, was atheist, but my dying uncle converted me to agnosticism. My children like being agnostics, because when their Mormon, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim friends talk about religion, they can always say: “Maybe.”
Thanks, Jackie. I wondered why I couldn’t find her on Google. You’re not old, I’m just an idiot.
I’m 32, white, Canadian. Never had my IQ tested. Raised in an affluent family that fell apart when my father left my mother to fend for herself with three kids. The affluence definitely vanished at that point.
I got a cheap college diploma and went straight to work in television. I’ve been there ever since and have been steadily climbing the ladder.
But my alter ego is not satisfied, as in television you WILL meet people who brag proudly about having read only one book in their lives. I read voraciously and soak up everything I can in my off hours, and no one at work is the wiser.
Straight. Have been in a relationship for nearly a decade. We have lived together for five years, but refuse to marry and are not interested in kids, much to the puzzlement of… well, everyone. We’re just not religious, and we think marriage is a state of mind, one which we are already in.
Only discovered romance three years ago, when I decided it would probably be easy to write such simplistic trash. To prove this to myself, I picked up a book at random (it was by Mary Balogh, who I had never heard of) and couldn’t put it down, have been hooked and respectful ever since. And I’m still trying to write it.
Compared to most of the bitches here I’m a vanilla reader, as I find all non-hetero or threesome stuff a turnoff, though this has nothing to do with my politics (I think everyone should read, write, enjoy, and live life however the hell they want).
I love romance because I love men and love and sex and sweeping storylines and emotion and laughter and great writing and relationships and tears and love and men and sex.
I’m 47 Australian and both a failed lesbian and a failed heterosexual. Lately I prefer to read and garden. Raised a Catholic, I have liberal arts degree (majored in history and philosophy) and a grad dip in health education. I worked for a long time in the criminal justice system and now work in local government.
I did the whole lesbian feminist thing in the 80s but kept falling in love with men.
I stared really reading romance about 4 years ago (before that I was a big literature and crime reader) when I started writing and everything I wrote was romantic. I’m not particularly romantic so this was a puzzle. I thought I’d better investigate so started reading and got hooked.
There is a lot of crap out there and a lot of the conventions of romance irritate me, but there are also wonderful stories full of great writing.
I also write erotica which stretches me beyond HEA, but I do like a good HEA.
Can I? Can I?
I am 27, I was born, raised and am living in Mexico and though I want to travel the world, I don’t want to live in another country. I am a Chemical Engineer (is there any other kind of Engineering?) because it was the only career that I though it had a practical use for math and chemistry. I listen to heavy metal while reading Romance and none of my friends share my taste in music or books. My friends don’t consider me “too smart to read that” because they don’t read and they think I like Romance because I’m a sexual maniac and though the last is true, one thing has nothing to do with the other (really). I am Christian because I chose to be, but I’m not homophobic or racist because that has nothing to do with Christ. God loves you!
I work in a Scottish company and thanks to that I’ve been to Scotland two times and haven’t been able to read a Scottish romance since then.
Oh, and since I taught myself the English language, I sound very funny and my grammar is not that good.
And Brian Molko is mine!
Hi to all, especially to Rosemary. I’m Romanian, currently living in New York for more than ten years.
As of my age, big sigh, early fifties.
Okay. I can’t really say much about my IQ, only that I came to the States against all odds, when all my friends told me that I was just mad to start anew, all by myself at an age when women settle down and look forward to grandkids. Well, I did it, and here I am with a master in library science, happily working at Columbia University in the library, cataloging and classification department. Sounds boring? Let me tell you, ladies, it is not. I am a bookworm in charge with the fiction collection. This means I read whatever I want, whenever I wand, and I read voraciously. New York Public library has a branch nearby the campus, so here I am well supplied with books.
When I landed on the American shores, my English was good only for reading. I was speaking with an awful accent (improved since). I consider that my accent was only on my tongue, didn’t affect my brain. Continuing process to improve my English and writing skills. I took a course at Creative Writing at Columbia, just to prove to myself that I can do better!
I wrote a novel in my native tongue while I was still in Bucharest, but never been published as my emigration papers came were approved when the editor was tearing apart my manuscript.
Righ now, under a creative zeal that needs to be expressed, I’m trying my hand on a novel (romance?) just for the heck of it! Work in progress, almost done.
This site helped me enormously on how NOT TO WRITE, if you know what I mean. That is, bad prose.
I read almost everyting, from The Historian (I enjoyed the hilarious critique posted here by, I believe, Candy? Or Sarah?) to the high-brow literati. But Romance is a favorite genre, along with detective, mystery stories. I love P.D. James, Elizabeth George, Kate Atkinson, John Katzenbach (The Analyst). Did not like The Da Vinci Code. Sorry! I am a fan of giant romance writers, Nora Roberts, Sandra Brown, whom I discovered since I came to the States.
Why romance? Well, hard to tell. Maybe because no matter what my biological clock tells me, clicking in my ears, I am still young at heart—a platitude that rings true to me.
I’ve been married, divorced now, straight and single (on the wrongside of age, social and financial status, size and shape) but that doesn’t deter me to keep an eye open. Just in case there’s a guy somewhere old enough and blind enough to all of the above.
I am straight, but I respect other lifestyles. My moral convictions float cocooned in common sense between liberal and conservative. Love is unconditional, or should be.
Born Orthodox Christain, stay this way, although I’m not a church goer. After reading The Urantia Book, I managed to reconcile the nebulous creationist theories with science. Both true, apparently, but who am I to judge? I only hope to find out the truth after I cross over.
I love astronomy and often times I climb up to the roof of Pupin Hall building housing the Astronomy and Astrophysics dept. at Columbia to mess around with the telescopes and peek through the lenses when the sky observation isn’t obstructed by clouds or haze. My passion for astronomy is reflected in my writing, aheam!
Cynic? Not sure. Too many wars on this embattled blue-planet, too many atrocities, too much horror, however, there’s plenty of goodness, too. Which side would prevail? We shall see.
Wishing you a happy Thanksgiving,
Truly yours,
Doina
Age: 41
Nationality: American
Gender: female
Intelligence: Other people seem to be impressed with what they perceive as my intelligence. I think I have an aptitude for remembering outlandish trivia, and boundless curiousity. Wouldn’t call that intelligence though. Did appear on “Win Ben Stein’s Money” a few years ago. Lost horribly, but blame it on the crappy buzzer that they assigned to me. Not that I’m bitter.
Orientation: Straight, but human sexuality is a vast continuum. Have always believed that love is love—the rest is plumbing.
Race: Human, the caucasian variety.
Religion: Agnostic, and not too fussed about it.
Occupation: Barista. Apparently it is a behavioral imperative whilst living in the Pacific Northwest and attempting to be a writer.
Education: AA from a community college, plus a geek personality. I think I’ve got a Masters in something, just don’t have the piece of paper. I should get on that. *sigh*
Born and raised in DC. I am an only child whose parents were very young. Father was an avid reader, so I followed in his footsteps. He never censored my reading, so I had free reign during our weekly library trips. And trips to the used book stores. And the Library of Congress (before they closed the stacks).
Grew up on multi-cultural fairy tales. Discovered science fiction at an early age.
Started reading romance novels during what I now recognize as the slow, steaming death of my marriage. (We divorced in 1999.) Previously I had nothing but contempt for them because I believed the prejudiced viewpoints of people whose opinions I thought mattered.
Read my first romance novel by accident. One had been mis-filed in the science fiction section of my favorite bookstore. Had great fun with it, and continued to explore the genre.
Even joined the Harlequin book club. *Eep.* They gained my respect for this one thing. One month, one of the four releases turned out to be a blueprint for surviving and escaping an abusive relationship—and included the hope of developing a non-abusive and loving relationship after taking care of oneself. At the end of the book were listings of helplines and shelters that harbored abused women. The beauty was that the book looked exactly like the other three. I was so impressed that I resolved to never diss romance novels again.
The problem is that romance novels are viewed as women’s fiction. Women’s fiction has always been marginalized. Are romance readers any more dim than the men who read mercenary novels, spy novels, Westerns, etc.? Yet we do not (generally) question the intelligence of readers of these primarily male-oriented genres. Feh.
(BTW; book recommendation “Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women: Romance Writers on the Appeal of the Romance” edited by Jayne Ann Krentz) (Fascinating read, 22 essays by romance writers about their genre.)
Frankly, any author who can write compelling stories with captivating characters within the strictures of an established genre deserves admiration.
Skeptical foul-mouthed pro-choice fag-lovin’ secular humanist fits me to a T. 33, white, married to a self confessed nerdy geek who quite likes having, at times, a nerdy geek bosomy wife with pink hair and cool glasses.
IQ…who knows? 138 or something close in the last online quiz – hmm, quality testing there huh? A consumate underachiever with a bent for sciences, but who went into the arts anyway ( I am way to crafty for my own good, but i made a mini business out of it – selling handmade, one of a kind original kids clothes on eBay!). Jack of all trades, masterof quite a few rather than none; recently as Dispensing Optician , even more recently as an erotic romance author.
My parents are fairly intelligent, not super geeks, fairly much upper middleclass whitebread – oh and I forgot to say I am a New Zealander living in Florida. I have been reading romances via mills & boon for years and years – nothing like all those 20-30yr old my boss is a millionare and I am having his secret love child stories to get a 10yr olds heart pounding. I was re-reading Cussler, Smith and all their cronies by then, courtesy of Dad’s book shelf, but got burned on a Le’Carre book – I still haven’t read one of his to this day – but Dirk Pitt (hubba hubba), if there is a god, he will be waiting for me at the pearly gates! As a speed reader romance is all about being able to step away from RL and into the cheesy. After all, you can only read so much Tolstoy before you go alittle square eyed.
I’m 21, (22 next month), born and raised in Hong Kong to an English father and a HK-Chinese mother, who are still married, and despite their problems, will be until they die. I have (and always have had) a British passport, and the permanent right of abode in HK. When asked, I say I’m from HK (I came to England for uni in 2002, and currently live in Scotland) and call myself British and Eurasian, and see absolutely no contradiction in doing so.
I have a BA in PPE and am waiting for my MA (Politics) dissertation to be marked. I studied for both at the same uni. Unadventurous, I know, but it made sense to stay – my uni has one of the best Politics depts in the country. No point going somewhere else just for the sake of going somewhere else, right?
Currently unemployed. Gah. I finished my MA in late Sept, and am only now getting around to applying for jobs. Not the most motivated person in the world. I like the idea of doing a PhD one day, but I just need to get away from formal education for a bit.
I’m a girl who likes boys (alpha manly men, yay!), who likes boys who likes both girls and boys, and who isn’t averse to the idea of girls, just hasn’t met one in real life who she fancies. (I’m also the kind of girl who likes to talk about herself in the third person, apparently!) So, straight, but curious, I suppose. (Hahaha, do people still even say ‘bi-curious’?)
I read pracially everything I can get my grubby little hands on. I’ve been thinking about why I read Romance recently, and I think the main reasons are the comfort, the escapism, and, depending on the author and my mood, the sex. The latter doesn’t really need any explaining, but maybe I need to explain what I mean by the first two. By calling Romances ‘comfortable’, I mean that we know there is going to be a HEA, but not only that – because I know where we’re going, I can cope with a much more fraught journey. I can let the author have the hero and heroine do things to each other / themselves that are just terrible, and irl would just ruin any chance of them ending up together. (Because there’s no way forgiveness would be forcoming, or because they’d killed themselves – or the other one – with their stupidity, or whatever). I’m not saying all Romances are comfortable/easy to read (most of my favourites have reduced me to floods of tears), but they are somehow more satisfying than, say, chicklit where the girl does not end up with the guy. Satisfying in the same kind of way detective/crime fiction is – you know our good guy is going to get the bad guy in the end, so you’re willing to let characters you have emotionally invested in do things you wouldn’t let yourself or people you care about in real life do (or not like it if they did). I’ve noticed that I’ve been reading less Romance since October – since leaving uni – and that’s why I think I read Romance for the escapism. When I was worried about failing my MA because some poor excuse for a fellow human being (not to mention a fello student!) stole my thumb drive with my dissertation on it in July, I started reading more Romance than anything else in my free time (what little of it there was, seeing as I was spending most of my days and nights hunched over my desk working on my dissertation), spending way more than I ought to have on books. Since leaving uni and settling back into my parents, I’m still reading Romance, butless, and with less … intensity … than when I thought my life sucked, and needed to be just be somewhere else where due dates and word counts and the like did not apply.
There are many other reasons why I read Romance, but I’m too tired to make coherent sentences out of my thoughts right now. (Also too tired to proof read this, so apologies for any typos / poor grammar.)
Part of me really enjoys the ‘wha-?’ reaction I get from people when they find out I read Romance. It pisses me off that they feel that way (‘for someone so widely read, you read a lot of crap!’) but I like surprising people.
Sorry for rambling on a bit!
I am a female of mostly English descent and was born to a upper middle class family in 1985 in Southern Ontario, Canada and live in upper middle class suburbia. My parents attempted to teach me religion by taking me to church when I was about 8ish around Christmas, by Easter I’d asked to stop going as it was boring and my parents were grateful as they weren’t much for church, I’m a animist. Fairly smart, no where near the level of some of my friends at school. I’m in university taking East Asian Religion, English and classical history. I’m somewhere around a Kinsey 2.5. I started reading romance when I ran out of books for my age and education level, got bored and went looking on my parents book shelf (it was Nora’s Divine Evil or V.C. Andrews and I’d heard things about attics so Andrews was a no-go) and haven’t stopped since. I have gotten multiple friends addicted to them; I find that starting on the ‘laugh at it’ line works, and before long your discussing the good points. I read romance now because they’re mostly no where near as pretensions as some fantasy books are.
PS. I suck at Math and Spelling… sorry about the spelling aspect.
Gender:Female
Age:20
Race:Caucasion (German-Lithuanian-Scotch-Irish-Polish)
National Origin: US of A
Religion: Athiest
Occupation: Ticket/consession bitch at a privately owned movie theater
Education Level: College Sophmore (major in 3D Fine Arts)
Sexual Orientation: Straight (not for lack of trying the other side…but theres just no zing there for me)
Why I read Romance Novels: Oh boy…well lets start at the beginning.
When I was in 7th grade I went through that akward angsty phase everyone goes through and I turned to two things to ease my inner soul tortue. They would be the “gang” down the street and romance novels. Luckily I ditched the gang after about 6 months but the romance novels stuck.
I read them because they’re an escape from the real world. Sure they’ve got pitfalls and fuck-ups but in the end you know the lead male and lead female will boink and be together in lurve, which is something you very rarely get in the real world.
I’m also a self proclaimed pervert (not in a “I touch little kiddies” way! In a “everything makes me think about sex” way) and have spent a large chunk of my life going “why does nobody talk about this stuff?! don’t you think about it constantly too?!” Romance novels were (and still are) a place where I can get a decent story as well as lots and lots of sexy-sexy.
Forgot a point I was going to make…sorry:
My roomate pulls out this quote often in her explination of why what I read is “trash”
It’s what you read when you don’t have to, that determines what you’ll be when you can’t help it.
Just something I thought the Smart Bitches might want to mull over…
Test Scores
GRE: 1600
GMAT 800
Take that, a great, big F-U to the stupid stereotype.
I was born and raised in mainland China. Came to the States when I was thirteen. Started reading romance as soon as I could scrape together enough English. On one of the first historical romances I picked up (back then they were all historicals), thinking that a governess was a female governor, I kept wondering why she had absolutely no power at all and took care of this dude’s kids instead of running the state.
I knew what dukes and earls were before I figured out what “t & a” meant. Learned fifty ways to describe that heavenly place between her legs before I learned the word “to pee”.
And I started writing romances myself before I was finally pointed in the direction of the great writers of the genre. Thank God for the internets.
I’m a non-meditating Buddhist who took a while to reconcile writing romance and believing life is suffering (the trick is to use the Third Noble Truth, which states that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional).
Otherwise, I’m just a regular suburban housewife soccer mom who happens to write romance for money and just for this year, attend school for a master’s degree in accounting.
I’m a 19 year old Caucasian female. I was born in South Africa, moved to Massachusetts when I was 5, lived in Canada for 6 weeks during 7th grade when our visa expired, moved back to Massachusetts, and then moved to Georgia after my senior year of high school. I’m a student at UGA. I’m an accounting major currently. I’m not religious, and I’m uncomfortable around religious people. I’m straight, but appreciate the beauty of women more than men. I read everything I could get my hands on when I was a kid, and then moved on to my mom’s books at an age where I felt like I had to keep it a secret when the books had sex scenes.
My favorite books are anything starring women, fantasy, chick lit, and romance novels because there are just so many out there that you’re never short of something to read!
Claire said: It’s what you read when you don’t have to, that determines what you’ll be when you can’t help it.
——-
So does that mean when the chips are down I’m going to risk it all for the best sex of my life, with the world’s hunkiest guy and we’re going to overcome all odds to live Happily Ever After? Damn. That would suck soooooo much if it happened IRL.
Poor Mr. Eggs. I’m going to miss him so much …
eggs.
Female, born in 1987 in Canada to parents of essentially British and Dutch descent, raised Anglican/Episcopalian, full-time university student and part-time barista, completing second year studies heading for a Fine Arts degree, and I consider myself asexual.
I read romance because I like it. It’s gratifying if it’s good, and if it’s bad I can get my snarkiness on, even if it’s just to myself. It’s escapist fiction, as well, given that with school I’m usually sick to death of academic reading by the end of the day.
I had a writing teacher who went to a writer’s conference and was shocked/surprised when there turned out to be a bunch of big-name romance and sci-fi authors attending the workshops on dialogue and character development. As if she didn’t expect those things to matter to “genre” writers—which she often says in a rather condescendingly derogatory tone, as if she doesn’t mean to overtly insult them, but as she told our writing class, she’s “here to teach us how to make art.”
Excuse me if I want my art to be a damn good romance novel.
So right now I mostly read romance novels to give the intellectual finger to those people I meet with on a daily basis who seem to think that the only thing worth writing or reading has to be some kind of moody coming-of-age novel by a blind former cocaine dealer.
Female, white, 40, atheist, university administrator/writer, PhD in English lit, bi, married (to man), two kids, adore Loretta Chase and Elizabeth Peters (among others).
This is cool!
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Race: White
National origin: Born in South Africa (only one with THAT I’ve seen so far). Moved to UK at age 7, moved back to SA at 8, moved to USA at 14. 8 years in NJ, 8 years in MI, 3 years in NC.
Religion: Brought up atheist. Not quite there anymore, but will never be Christian.
Occupation: College English Professor at an Historically Black University in NC.
Education level: Ph.D. in English Literature from UMichigan
Sexual orientation: Well, that’s a tricky one. Mostly heterosexual, but I identify as sexually dominant more than anything else. Let’s leave it there.
My IQ tested as 155 when I was 15. My SATs were 1470 (in the days before the essay test).
I’m happily married to my high school boyfriend. We’ve got one child and have been desperately trying to have another one for 18 months to no avail.
I started reading before I can remember. My mother gaves me Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” when I was 12, which is about the same time I started sneaking her romances. I basically got my Ph.D. in the 18thC version of popular romances and now I’m trying to be a part of a new wave of romance-positive academic criticism.
Why do y’all have to be so young?
I’m a white 39y old teenile (will give explanation if necc.)married mommy of 2. I am a girl geek dentist. I only pratice 8 hrs a month, however.
Unexpectedly bright. Something about the way I look causes people to assume I’m ditzy until I open my mouth and embarrass them. Sometimes that angers me and sometimes it amuses me.
I couldn’t stop reading romance even if I tried. Its the ultimate escape. Although this site is becoming a close 2nd.
I find my self snorting and crying with laughter at this stuff and I have to admit, I am thrilled when I see authors post info. I forget they are real people sometimes.
I just wanted to say that you guys have single-handedly contradicted the romance-reader stereotypes for me. I’m still not a romance reader myself, but I love coming here.
I’m 28 and I live in Austin, TX. I’m married to a machinist who works in custom motorcycle shop. I have two stepkids and a chihuahua. I have an MA in History and an MS in Information Studies. I work as a tech writer and a reference librarian. I am an agnostic. I’m…mostly straight with bi tendencies; I’ve just never had the situation arise, and I don’t expect it to now that I’m married. Lesbians are hot.
I read everything. Books keep me sane. Going to the bookstore and shopping on Amazon are my biggest comfort. I’ve been reading romance since…the age of 10, maybe? My mom is an avid romance reader. She reads about 300 books a year, I swear. When I was a kid, she traded romances with a neighbor, and always came home from the grocery store with a pile of paperbacks. She kept her romances stacked in the windowsills of her bedroom. I would sneak a few when she wasn’t looking. She caught me reading one in my closet and halfheartedly forbade me to read them. I didn’t listen. She still jokes with me about my romance-sneaking habits. Now that I’m an adult, we trade romances; we have a fondness for paranormals and La Nora.
So after romances, I moved to sci-fi/fantasy, and then onto “literature”, but lately I’ve been going back to my roots and reading romances and bad epic fantasy. Screw what other people think. I think balance and variety is the key. Right now I’m reading the Alan Moore pornography and Special Topics in Calamity Physics.
My favorite romances: I love paranormals, sci-fi/fantasy romance, erotica, BDSM-type stories, lesbian/gay stories, historicals (esp medievals and westerns), Black Lace. I don’t really like contemporaries, unless they have a unique twist. I have a fondness for sheikhs just because it’s so fucking hilarious.
In terms of characters, I love the tortured “Stranger in a Strange Land” character…fish out of water stories. I like my men complex and emotional. I love nerds. The strong, silent type. Toughness and vulnerability. I like big guys, which is why I married a hairy, hulking greaser.
My favorite romance is The Time Traveler’s Wife. I sheepishly admit that I love Diana Gabaldon.
I am 26 and live in the UK (A little North of centre). I am of Irish Catholic descent, which is pretty strict, but I stopped practising years ago. I still live at home because crippling student debts and a low trainee salary means that I cannot yet afford to move out.
I have a degree in Law, a masters in Commercial Law and I am currently training to be a lawyer. I work in Commercial Property Law at the moment, so for once it is nice to read something that isn’t wrapped up in Legal-speak and doesn’t send me to sleep. I am never going to save the world but I enjoy what I do.
I like men, but a I do like the description my friend had of sexuality, namely that it was a sliding scale between liking men and women – some people are definitely at one end or the other, whilst most are somewhere in between with a bias towards one side.
As a child I was a very fast reader to the point that I read my local library dry, working first through the childrens books, then young adults and then adults.
I quickly moved onto the one section that was updated frequently – Mills and Boon. My mom weaned me off these by suggesting Jilly Cooper. After that I just started picking up books which looked like romances.
Most of my friends know that I enjoy romance novels by now, especially after looking through my Amazon wishlist, and some have even confessed that they like similar books. In fact I often exchange books with a couple of different friends to get greater variety. My mom reads most of the books that I do, whilst my dad pretends not to notice what I read.
I am a cynic and a pessimist at heart with the theory that whilst it would be nice if real life followed romance novels, it will never happen, but for the three hours it usually takes to read a novel, it is nice to suspend reality for a while.
Hi! Sitting up from lurkerdom for my first post:
I’m a mostly-single, black, 24 year-old Philadelphian who works as a fundraiser at one of the local hospitals—no, I’m not a telemarketer. As a graduate of an Ivy League university with a BA in English (ah, those wasted thousands), I get harassed by friends, professors, and co-workers for reading several dozen romance novels each year. It would be okay if I picked up Heinlein or Palaniuk, but God forbid I read Krentz or Roberts.
Though I’ve rediscovered my buried Catholicism, I still find myself scoffing at a number of the Church’s teachings, so “skeptical foul-mouthed pro-choice fag-lovin’ secular humanist” works for me too. Currently, I’m prepping for the GMATs so that I can escape the pit of financial despair (with greater financial despair) my undergrad student loans have visited upon me.
I’ve loved romance novels since my mom bought me a bagful in an attempt to keep me away from frat parties in my sophomore year, and some six hundred books later, I still love the journey and power games a hero and heroine will face to get to their HEA. I live for historical and paranormal romances—if I combine and get a Regency vampire, Restoration witch, or Victorian werewolf, I’m happy as a clam.
I’m a twenty-something ex slacker who’s done it all. The True Hollywood Stories you watch on the E! channel? I could have had one of those, but after six months of starving, working as a dishwasher (a light tester, a valet parker, a Hooter girl, and door-to-door knife seller), I decided that Hollywood was not for me and went home. I’ve got 2 really interesting rehab stories, 1 boring one, and a hilarious arrested-in-Mexico story. Oh, I’ve been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I’ve sipped champagne on a yacht
I’ve moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed ‘em what I’ve got. I’ve been undressed by kings and I’ve seen some things that a woman ain’t supposed to see. I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me (man, that song is super-awesome). I don’t have a degree, but am currently working on it (I’m a reformed bad girl gone straight… well, not too straight). I haven’t decided if I want to go to grad school yet, but if I did, I’d probably go to SFSU for an MFA. I’ve made very stupid decisions in my life, but have also made brilliant ones. I can destroy any of you in Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture.
I read romance novels because they’re funny, cheesy, definitely over-the-top, but they’re also the most sincere fiction I’ve come across in my years of voracious reading.
Oh, and I like boys and girls. Especially lean, muscled blond boys with green eyes. And hot Tokyo chicks.
White, 34, married, 1 kid, another on the way. Romance reader and writer (Kalen and I share an editor). Straight, but have my female crushes (Gwen Stefani, anyone?) Consider myself spiritual but not religious. As far as intelligence, I graduated from Stanford with BA in English (my two CP’s are also Stanford Grads, and I recently learned author Shannon McKenna is a Yalie), so I guess I’m smart enough. Known for my biting sarcasm and generally snarky attitude. Was known as one of the “surly girls” when I did Team in Training a few years back. Was once told by a guy that I’m “one of those mean girls. You’re the kind of girl who would say, ‘Come back when your dick is bigger.’” Don’t know if that makes me cynical, but I sure as shit am not sweet. And yet, ever since I picked up the Flame and the Flower at age 13 I’m a total sucker for reading about people falling madly, eternally in love.
This is totally off-topic, but since we all seem to be in a confessional mood…
When no one’s around, I strip off to my underwear and totally rock out to Ricky Martin.
Hi, I’m Meljean, and I love romance novels.
I’m 29, a converted Muslim (but not a very good one, just like I wasn’t a good Christian or athiest, pagan or agnostic, but it sure was fun trying all of them on for size), female, a bit geeky with a powerful love for superheroes. I grew up in a small Oregon town, read my little ass off because everyone in my family reads their ass off, and was quite certain I’d be a jockey until my little ass grew a lot taller.
I have a BA in English Lit, dropped out of grad school and quit my bookkeeping job so that I could write full time, don’t care about my IQ and am just happy I’m not stupid (though that’s debatable on Monday nights), love Milton and Johanna Lindsey equally but for far different reasons.
I think girls are pretty and yummy, but I’m monogamous with a guy whose man-titty could shame Nathan Kamp (but not shame Batman, who is the one man I might give up monogamy for, so it’s lucky for my husband that Bruce is just a two-dimensional drawing and I have no interest in getting papercuts on certain areas of my anatomy), who doesn’t care if I wear a hijab or not (sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t) and we don’t blow stuff up (although sometimes I think about it, but not for the stereotypical reason or the usual targets.)
I’ve been reading romance since I was eight, and have logged my schizophrenic journey on my blog, mostly to my embarrassment—because, really, the little girl I was at eight is not much different from the writer I am at 29.
I read romance because I believe in superheroes, because friction and heat between two or more people makes the world interesting and I like to see it written in language, and because I love the tight warm feeling in my gut when two characters I’ve come to care about are going to make it to the HEA.
And for other reasons, but I’m also lazy. I would compound that by eating bon-bons, but I really prefer ice-cream by the pint.
Assorted and random demographic information.
I’m 47. Female. Born and raised in Kentucky, US; I still live in the same part of the country. Mostly white, although there’s a little variety in my ancestry here and there. I’m straight, not from any convictions on the matter; I just seem to be made that way. I can view other women as attractive/sexy, but I’ve never met one I actually wanted to get physical with. I’ve been married to the same man for almost 25 years. Two kids, one grown (theoretically) and one almost there.
I have an IQ somewhere around 135/140, depending on the test. I have a Bachelor’s in Paralegal Studies, which I have never actually made a living with, although the degree did help me get the job I have now, Library Assistant, which is a step below a real Librarian. That would require a Master’s, which I just don’t have the inclination to get.
I’m a Christian, although not of the hellfire and brimstone variety. In reading the Bible, it seems to me that Jesus spent most of his time on earth comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. He had a lot of critical things to say about the conservative religious establishment of His day. The Bible also says we shouldn’t be judgmental; we should worry about our own behavior, not other people’s. I’m thinking those angry men I see on TV all the time, ranting about stuff, must have a very different translation of the Bible than I do. 😉
Why do I read romance? Because I like the emotional intensity. Because I like the sex, especially if it fits the story. Partly because I am a cynic and books that end with everything working out properly help to balance out my natural tendency toward excess skepticism. I don’t have to have the over-the-top-HEA, with two kids and a house in the country, but I get a sense of satisfaction over an ending that assures me that yes, this relationship has a chance. Because sometimes I just find a romance to be entertaining for a few hours and there’s nothing wrong with that. Because I believe in love and I believe that it’s possible to live (mostly) happily ever after.
Romance is not the only type of book that I read, but it fills a particular spot.
I’m 47, happily married to the same man for 20 years, straight but not narrow minded about other people’s alternate sexualities, and have four children.
I’ve been reading romance since I was about 13. I would stay at my grandmother’s house during the summer and the only thing there to read was either true confession magazines or inspirational romances by Emily Loring and Grace Livingston Hill. Boy did that warp my mind. I also read a lot of science fiction because my dad was a rabid science-fiction fan, and again that was pretty much all there was to read at home.
I have a bachelor of science degree in scientific and technical communications, with minors in biology and chemistry. My IQ is around 140 to 155 depending on what kind of IQ test I’ve taken.
I love reading romance novels, especially anything that is in the science fiction genre. I also write romance novels for Ellora’s Cave in the science fiction and paranormal genres.
From what I am reading here, I’m pretty typical of the smart bitch variety of romance fan.
I’m a happily married, non-cynical 32 year old female living in the Pacific NW. I speak enough Japanese to communicate with my husband’s family when we visit them in Japan, but not as much as I’d like. I was born and raised back on the East Coast where I went to college and graduated with Honors and Phi Beta Kappa. After that I pursued my first Master’s degree and had an internship with an amazing mentor. She was an incredibly smart woman who had finished her PhD while raising a bunch of kids. She told me that one of the things that helped her through that whole process was unwinding with a good romance. I figured if she could be so smart and still read romances (fool that I was I thought “smart†people didn’t read romance novels), I could too.
As soon as I read my first romance novel I knew I’d found another “home.†I’d always been a voracious reader- but primarily of mysteries and fantasy (and of course I liked the ones with romance the best- duh!). Since then, I’ve gone on to get another Master’s degree (this one in library science) and have continued to devour different kinds of romance. My current favorites are definitely the paranormals.
My parents have been happily married for almost 35 years. I don’t currently practice any religion but grew up in a household where my mom took us to church every Sunday but my dad didn’t go, so I’d say our house was kinda 50/50 on the religion front. I kept the broader “love they neighbor†mandates and pretty much chucked the rest of the specific rules. My mom was the parental reader in the house and she thought romance novels weren’t worth reading. I still can’t admit to her that I read them, but I’m working up to it!