Spam In the Place Where you Live

I just got a piece of spam to the ads@ email address that said, “We can’t find your website!”

Clearly you are not searching hard enough. We’re among the top results for the names of certain politicians (Bill Napoli? Why, yes!).

Please consider one of the following successful search terms as found in our recent not-work-safe search engine referrals1:

bitches: Yes, there are many of them writing on this site. Smart Bitches, in fact. Well over 2000 unique Smart Bitch visitors every day!

smart cunt: No, fool, Smart Bitches. Although, if I had to guess, that part of our anatomy is as smart as the rest of us.

smack her with a dick a dick in the ear fuck in the eye blind the bitch lyrics: Well, now. Are you a Linda Howard hero? Or do you just think like one?

love definition: See above, matey. Then, do the opposite.

Dominican Bitches: Yes! Come for the Dominican Bitches, Stay for the Man Titty. If ever there was a slogan meant for a t-shirt, that would be it.

So try these successful search terms if you’re looking for our site. Of course, if you’re looking for our site and haven’t found it, you probably won’t read this anyway. But that’s ok. I’ve always wanted to patiently transcribe someone’s desire to dick a dick in the ear.

1referrals are the words that someone used in a search engine that brought them to our website. Our Stat Counter nicely tracks these things for us.


Random Musings

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Nicole says:

    Speaking of t-shirts, perhaps you guys should set up a CafePress store.  I’d so buy a Smart Bitches t-shirt.

  2. 2
    Ann Aguirre says:

    Whoa. It makes the way I found the site downright dull. I found a link on MJD’s blog. I don’t read it on a regular basis but there was a link to her from some other blog I was on. It was during that kerfluffle where someone said, “Write, bitches, write!” and MJD got very perturbed. I’ve forgotten the details. But anyhow, that’s how I wound up here. True story.

  3. 3
    Casey says:

    Well, I was tired of reading books with good reviews then hating the book. So I googled romance novels reviews. I went to each site on the first page and looked for a book I recently read to see what they thought. When I saw the Edwards bashing on smart bitch I knew I was in love. Been hooked ever since. I really don’t think I could live with out google.

  4. 4
    Casey says:

    Bitches! Sorry

  5. 5
    Ann Aguirre says:

    Two authors who achieved popularity and left me utterly uncomprehending as to why:

    Cassie Edwards
    Dara Joy

    I tried both of them and I was astonished at the rank, utter badness they brought to bear. I know Dara Joy used to be immensely popular before she melted down but I read one of her edited books and I couldn’t believe the thing got published. It was unreadable to my mind.

  6. 6
    Rosemary says:

    My story’s even less interesting.  It was a link from

    Ever since, if I’m lazy & don’t feel like typing out the whole address, I just search for “trashy books.”

  7. 7
    SB Sarah says:

    You can type in and arrive at our haven of smart bitchyness if you want. I got that domain name in case anyone had URL blocking software that didn’t like “Bitches.”

  8. 8

    Well, now. Are you a Linda Howard hero? Or do you just think like one?

    I was drinking coffee. Now my nasal passages are ULTRA-KLEEN. Candy, I adore you.

  9. 9
    Ann Aguirre says:

    “dick in the ear fuck in the eye”

    Sounds like someone was looking for a song about skull-fucking and wound up here. Uhm, sweet?

  10. 10
    SB Sarah says:

    Sorry Lilith – this one was yours truly. Though I totally thought of Candy when I wrote that.

  11. 11
    Candy says:

    Re: “smack her with a dick” lyrics: if you’ve never seen that Chris Rock routine on Never Scared, you really need to check it out. I think I sprained something when I first saw it, I was laughing so hard. He talks about how misogynistic modern rap music is, and how a lot of women just lap it up, ‘cause “He ain’t singing about me.”

  12. 12
    Suisan says:

    I found you from hanging out at Laura Kinsale’s website. And then found you through searching for Laura Kinsale on Google. I laughed immediately—always a good thing. I’m sure I hit you on a cover snark day.

    And then the next day Laura put up a link to you guys, and I figured y’all were da bomb.

    And then I found Maili, who convinced me to set up my own blog. And then I found more bloggers. *wipes a tear from her eye* You had me at “Hello”.

  13. 13
    Salllyacious says:

    I would proudly wear a Smart Bitches t-shirt. Y’all are my kinda wimmen!

  14. 14
    Jackie says:

    I bought a new laptop so I lost all my bookmarks.  I typed in “smart bitches” on the www. line on the top.  Did not wind up where I wanted to go.  To say the least.  So I knew there was a link to you guys from Mrs. Giggles, google on romantic novel reviews, ok, that was bad, too, really bad.  Romance novel reviews finally got me to you guys.  Good news, the FBI didn’t show up to see if I was gay and into porn, a relief to me after the “Smart Bitches” site visit.  My word to submit is member 85, you guys are hysterical.

  15. 15
    mirain says:

    Exactly my thought, Nicole! Why doesn’t this this blog commodify?!

  16. 16
    Berni says:

    I first found you as a link from “Making Light.”

    I’ve long had a question about your logo: the Dominican bitches—are we talking nuns (Dominican order) or women from Santa Domingo?  I’m more of a Franciscan bitch myself.

  17. 17
    Bron says:

    I’m more of a Franciscan bitch myself.


    I guess that almost makes me a Franciscan bitch, too. I did once toy with the idea of becoming a nun. The traditional habit, the not having to worry about fashion, the teaching and doing good I could have coped with. And St Francis’ manic ecstasy is a lot more appealing than most other types of religion.

    However, not being into the whole poverty, chastity and obedience thing, not to mention the God and doctrinal stuff, the idea did not last long ;-)

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