Christine sent us this fine selection. And by fine I mean, “As gentle on the eyes as fine grained sand applied directly under each eyelid.”
Sarah: When the cover art is that blatant and, well, phallic, I start to place mental bets that the back copy will tell me about a hero named Cialis or Levitra.
Candy: I long for manly swords, sure, but definitely not the sword of some freakish albino analogue of that Little Hercules dude. Ugh. Shudder.
Sarah: “Next up on QVR: Light up boobs! The perfect gift for your wife this holiday season! Need to find your way to the toilet after a little holiday nogging of her egg, nudge nudge, wink wink? Just tap once on each nipple for a soft, friendly glowing light that will stop you from stubbing your toes forever! Battery not included.”
Candy: Wow. Gives new meaning to “quivering, translucent orbs.” I wonder if she’s able to adjust the intensity and the direction of the light, too, because she’d never have to worry about burned-out headlamps in her car any more. And think of all the money she saves on electricity. Look, if every pair of boobs was somehow able to emit light, we’d be able to take care of global warming in no time. Bioluminescent humans: The wave of the FUTURE!
Sarah: There’s just not enough writing in the hairy back/lumpy ass buttsecks sub-genre. I’m glad to finally see some new entries in the backfield.
Candy: Wow. You know all those jokes that go something like:
“I didn’t mean to sleep with her!”
“Wait, what? Did you trip and fall on her or something?”
Apparently, that scenario is possible. If you trip and fall hard enough, you, too, can accidentally sodomize somebody. AWESOME.