So yesterday was my turn to do the Lonely Heart, and I suck because I came home intending to take care of it and then there was work and my husband’s work and Freebird the Unstoppable and his magic Ever-Full Diaper, and then I passed out from sheer exhaustion. Short answer: I suck.
Since it’s Saturday, I’ll wait until next Friday to take my turn with the Lonely Heart ad, and your chance for a Smart Bitch Title.
My apologies – now, what is a suitable punishment for my slackitude? Should I be locked in a room with randomly-descending man-titties bonking me on the head? Shall I be forced to endure an incurable condition wherein I only answer in Cassie Edwards’ dialogue? Should I change my name to Sweet Savage Sarah? Let me have it!
Well, I’d say this time, you get off with this warning….
Next time you forget, you get to go to the ‘worst book evah’ comments and READ THOSE BOOKS…
Sam…
ARRGGHH…it was: Worst. Romance. Evah.
Bless your heart, Sarah, you have a baby. After having had one of those ourselves, my husband and I decided that we would never get angry at our neighbors with new babies for leaving their grass uncut or their garbage spilled on the road. We give everyone one full year of new baby before resuming our normal demands on them. Imho, the same should hold true for Bitchy Duties. You are doing great!
E’en now the Scissors o’ Doom are on their way to your house to tie down your spouse and give him a mullet.
I’m picturing you forced to have DeSalvo as a house guest for the next week, following you everywhere while wearing nothing but a loincloth and continually trying to thrust his mantitties in your face and strike a pose while looking vacantly over your left shoulder. He would be programmed not to go home until you wrote the next Lonely Heart post.
Or we could just say “hey, she has a new baby, so she probably has better things to do.” 🙂
You have to spend a whole day posing and pouting like a clinch cover heroine. Do tell me if it’s actually possible to hold those poses without dislocating your spine, won’t you?
The ever full diaper is punishment enough. Besides, if it hasn’t happened yet, someday Freebird will make one of those diapers explode…
Sarah, I’m with Jennifer E. I’m on day 6 of my husband’s 8 day stint out of town, home alone with our almost 1 year old, and this is the third day in a row I had cheese and crackers and leftover bits of veggie burger and diced strawberries for lunch. Laundry has been sorted into piles on my bedroom floor for 3 days, and the dog hair is 2 inches thick throughout the house because the baby hasn’t learned to vaccuum yet. Take as many free passes as you need, girlfriend.
You mean you’re not super woman? How appalling! Your punishment will be a good nights sleep and a rose scented bubble bath. Get your act together or we may be forced to hire a live in nanny and butler for you.
All is forgiven – you are a new mom. Anyone with kids under 3 deserves a medal for being organized enough to blog once a week let alone nearly every day!
My editor and I were e-mailing each other about typing while breast-feeding and while holding kids on laps, lol.
Keep up the good work – and don’t worry about us, we can entertain ourselves in your archives!
No, she can’t be let off just because she has a life and a baby. I vote for the mullet (Because I so love Sherwood’s idea).
I kept my son’s two boys for a week last fall—now I know why God sends children to the young. And we’re planning to have them up for a week this summer—I doubt I’ll get anything at all done, and these guys are three and five…but then I’m falling apart. Forgiveness is yours—though the mantittie guy following you around is an interesting concept…
Hm, watching the European Song Contest several times over? :p
Remember when we did those Mad Lib romance scenes? She should be forced to read those out loud to an adoring DeSalvo, he of Massive Man Tittie Goodness.
Or we should all chip in and buy her a maid for a day to clean the house for her. Either one works. 🙂
Mullet of Death, or the Man Titty of Doom—what a choice!
But I’ll wimp out and say: new baby? Give the woman a break!
(What does it say about me that I’m amused at the spam-foil word? “are69”)
Freebird’s so darn cute we’ll let you off with a warning this time.
But I think “Sweet Savage Sarah” has a certain ring to it.