Dude Looks Like a Lady

Bitchery reader Joyce sent us the following article about a composite sketch of “the perfect man.”

Go ahead and check out that article. I’ll wait.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Duh-duh duh-duh DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!

Now that Steven Tyler is shimmying around in my brain shaking his be-ribboned groove thang about dudes what look like ladies, let’s discuss. What is UP with that? Are all the women in the sample group outlandishly gay? Did the researchers look for women with Danskos and one of the seven lesbian haircuts? As Joyce pointed out, that image isn’t even on the same planet as the “ideal man” in the CG-artist’s realm. That image needs man titty like DAMN.

Aside from the discussion of what specifically constitutes attractiveness and beauty, and whether it’s a person’s features linearly adhering to a grid or just simple symmetry, the article raises a question that must plague the art department – what does an attractive male look like? Is there a common denominator for most women that can be drawn, or better yet, Poser-ed? Granted the sample of images used to generate Mr. Girly Hot Man was very small, and the sample of women rating the ballot of images was small as well, so we’re not talking about a major study. But are we working with dichotomous images of manhood that can’t be merged – the sexy studly macho alpha mantitty-sporting mega dude, and the “slightly effeminate image of a man with such traits as willingness to help, honesty, an emotional temper and love for children.” Or – do we want Mr. Girly Hot Man trapped in the body of Fabio DeSalvo?

In the opinion of a woman who likes her men short and dorky, neither image really does it for me. What about you?

Comments are Closed

  1. 1

    Sinead O’Connor has a long lost twin brother, who knew?

  2. 2
    Amanda says:

    He looks young as opposed to feminine, IMO. Needs more hair though. I was hoping they’d made up a full body reconstruction of the perfect male physique. That would’ve been more fun!

  3. 3
    Nicole says:

    The reason I love to come and read this website: the words “man titty” and “dichotomous” in the same post.

  4. 4
    Rosemary says:

    The image is of a pretty boy, who seems a bit young for me to find attractive without feeling like a perv.  And I’m in my 20s. 

    Seriously.  That’s the face of a boy who is about two days from his testicles dropping.

    Given, you have to take my opinion with a grain of salt because if he doesn’t have a thick neck, rough hands and at least 10 tattoos, I’m not interested.

    My parents are so proud

  5. 5
    Christine says:

    He is very pretty, and I do have a history of liking the pretty-boy type. I think the popularity of Orlando Bloom can attest to something of a tste for pretty-boys in the female populace. Of course, I am not with a pretty-boy; neither am I with a macho-man with mantitty.
    Expansive mantitty in person is kind of gross, actually.

  6. 6
    azteclady says:

    “Mr. Girly Hot Man trapped in the body of Fabio DeSalvo”

    May I say…

    EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

  7. 7
    Danielle says:

    For me the real turn-off is the blandness of the face. I think that’s the problem with all of these computer-generated “perfect specimens” (I’m sure I remember seeing a version of the perfect woman somewhere as well)—a composite face voted on by committee isn’t individual enough to be attractive.

    And what’s with the chipmunk cheeks?!?

  8. 8
    DebR says:

    Evidently I’m not alone here – when I looked at that face I just thought he looked so YOUNG and bland. I can look at the face feature by feature and think ok, yes, he has nice eyes, he has a nice mouth, etc. But if I saw a person wearing that face walking toward me, my reaction would be that I’d like to see what he looked like after he’s put 20 years or so of living on that face.

    I like some cragginess. I like some lines and crinkles. I like eyes that look like they’ve seen something besides math class and soccer games.

    Thinking of real life “pretty” men – classically handsome movie stars and so on – I always (ALWAYS!) find them much sexier and more interesting looking when they get older than when they were in their 20’s or even their 30’s.

  9. 9
    Becca says:

    For me the real turn-off is the blandness of the face. – yeah, what struck me is that there’s no character in that face, no personality. And for me it’s the personality that I find most attractive in a man.

    well, and a judicious amount of mantitty, I suppose

    . but character can make up for a dorky body where a gorgeous bod can’t make up for lack of character.

    -becca

  10. 10
    Laura V says:

    I think that article is not reporting the findings of the St Andrews team correctly. If you go to http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/376321.stm there are two pictures, and at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4941950.stm they have some rather different faces. They were comparing two faces, and looking at how women respond at different times of the month (women who are at the fertile part of their cycle apparently like more masculine-looking men). If you just look at the one picture given in the article on the 7am page, it’s not so helpful because it doesn’t show the alternatives which people were choosing between, and it doesn’t mention the subtleties about hormonal changes. And for yet more on Perrett’s work at St Andrews, see this article about the different qualities which are associated with different sorts of faces.

  11. 11
    Tonda says:

    A bland, baby-faced zombie. I’m in lurv . . . NOT! And I like my men on the pretty side (I think), but I like ‘em a little dirty: Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, not as the poof in that horrible time travel movie (I’ve managed to wipe the title from my mind and I feel all the cleaner for having done so).

  12. 12
    Vivi Anna says:

    I’m not into pretty-boys…

    Orlando Bloom is very good looking, but I find men like Viggo Mortensen, Jason Statham, Gerard Butler, Christian Bale, and Hugh Jackman sexy and way more delicious.  Rough and tumble men, with stubble and chest hair, and a scar on their chins from a sporting accident…

  13. 13
    Laura Kinsale says:

    Guy looks like a chipmunk with the mumps.

    Thanks for the other articles that put the studies in better perspective.  I’ve always been highly suspicious of those composite face studies, because it seems to me that what you are actually discovering is not really which face is the most attractive but which face is the least offensive to the largest number of people.

    Certainly the choice of this guy seems to bear that out, lol.  Ugh.

    Of course it could well be that the way the studies are reported in the media makes the researchers tear their hair out, just like we do about reporting on the romance genre in the media.

    GIGO.

  14. 14
    sleeky says:

    Cripes, it would be like falling in love with my 4 year old son!

    No wait, I did that. But not in a creepy way.

    I like my men chunky and dorky, so I’m a data point way, way off the chart.

  15. 15

    Euuuwww!  Looks like a man with training wheels. Or maybe “man lite”. 

    Give me some planes and angles, some rough edges, some testosterone!  This lad isn’t doing it for me.

  16. 16
    Sara Donati says:

    crickey, no. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer guys with a good dose of testosterone.

    Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Viggo Mortensen, Jason Statham, Hugh Jackman—a little rough around the edges.

  17. 17
    kate r says:

    sixteen year old punk minus the pimples? Bleargh.

    They say they asked young women—yeah, like the ones who buy tiger beat magazine. (wonder if that thing’s still around)

  18. 18
    Wendy says:

    So the ideal man looks like he’s 12?  Well since most men I’ve known in my life don’t mature much past that age, I suppose it fits ;-P

  19. 19

    I like some cragginess. I like some lines and crinkles. I like eyes that look like they’ve seen something besides math class and soccer games.

    I like my men chunky and dorky, so I’m a data point way, way off the chart.

    crickey, no. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer guys with a good dose of testosterone.

    Two words:

    SOUL PATROL!

  20. 20
    Becca Furrow says:

    Well, I’m nothing if not a loyal fan. I still think Spike is the ultimate hottie.

    That boy looks like someone my thirteen year old would like.

  21. 21
    anu439 says:

    Pretty, but needs a few years to get manned up. Also a defined chin would help.

    The eyes are hot though.

  22. 22
    Sanachan says:

    I love how they are basing the opinions of modern women in general on a bunch of Scottish girls in their 20s. Way to make allowances for age and cultural differences there yo! Something tells me a 40 year old woman in Somalia might have a different opinion of good looking. I know *I* have a different opinion. He just looks incredibly bland. Now if someone gave me a composite of Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel and Brad Pitt, then we might be getting somewhere.

  23. 23

    Yeah, NO.  Whoever said they like their men craggy and a little dirty, right on.  Hugh Jackman (so long as I can avoid that horrifying memory of him singing “Surry with a Fringe” or whatever the hell it was), Viggo, Jason Statham, Christian Bale—oh, yes.  The most feminine types I go for are along the lines of Matthew McFayden (who played the most recent Mr. Darcy) and Hugh Laurie, both of whom look they’ve done some actual living.

    That little boy in the picture does nothing for me, and I’m in the age demographic they used to create the composite.  I just sort of want to give him a glass of milk and make sure he has lunch money.

  24. 24
    Samantha says:

    quote:
    “The final composite stands out by its pronounced femininity. The modern woman does not find attractive neither facial hair nor a strong chin on a man’s face. She does not seem to like any other features traditionally associated with a “real macho man.” “

    I missed that memo, so did Hollywood, I guess.

  25. 25
    Jennifer says:

    The sketch might do something for the women who dream of having sex with sixth graders – frankly it was Very off-putting for me.

    I’m with Melanie with this one – I love craggy, manly, rough – Vigo or Harrison Ford –
    Not little boys, thank you very much.
    LOL!

  26. 26
    Sallyacious says:

    My ideal sexy man? James Hetfield of Metallica. Big, red-haired, built, rough, tattooed. With a voice that sounds like a man’s voice. Baby. That boy curls my toes.

    The picture in the article? He has pretty eyes. But like earlier commenters have said, no character. I want a man who has experienced pain and figured out how to deal with it, thank you.

    Then again, when I was in my early 20’s, marks of character and experience in a man scared the bejeezus out of me. I had to get some living done myself first.

  27. 27
    Jeri says:

    I’m with you on short and dorky, Sarah.  Ben Stiller, Seth Green, that guy on Numbers who isn’t Rob Morrow.  Oh, and Max from Eve 6.

    Pretty boys would be second, with macho, hairy-faced be-tittied caveman a dead last.

    But I’ll never forgive you for mentioning that fucking song.  It’s the worst ear-worm in the whole goddamn world.

  28. 28
    emdee says:

    Ugh!  I hate to have to card potential dates.

    I’m in with the Hugh Laurie crowd.  I find the guy on the cover of Chase’s Captives Of The Night pretty and masculine.  I’m a fan of the several days’ stubble, of the eyes that show a bit of living.

  29. 29
    Candy says:

    My first thought when I saw that picture was “Huh, looks kind of like one of the pretty Adonis types from classical sculpture, and just about as lifeless.”

    So I guess Scottish girls display the same aesthetics as a buncha dead pederast Mediterranean artists.

    Seriously, leaving aside the weird mask-like quality of the face and its extreme youth, I think the composite looks quite attractive—I know I would’ve had a huge crush on a boy who looked like that back in the day. But then I love me some androgyny.

    I call bullshit on this statement, though: “At the same time, a woman would also like to see some typically male features in her chosen one because a woman still wants a man who would dominate her to some extent.”

    Sigh. What the shit is up with that shit? And all that from looking at a motherfucking FACE?

    However, I haven’t read the articles Laura V linked to. Off to do that now!

  30. 30
    Tonda says:

    “My ideal sexy man? James Hetfield of Metallica. Big, red-haired, built, rough, tattooed. With a voice that sounds like a man’s voice. Baby. That boy curls my toes.”

    Sexy, and a total sweetie (and TALL!). I used to bump in to him all the time when I was in grad school and lived in San Francisco. He’s got a thing for the fries at Sparky’s in the Castro . . . I’ll totally agree with his hotness.

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