Talking about the F Word

Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it.

That’s right, baby, we’re talking about “fuck.” Also, tits, shit, cock, motherfucker, cunt and any of an assortment of dirty words. Bad words are powerful, and people tend to have strong reactions to them, whether it’s disgust, disdain or laughter.

Yesterday, after stumbling across another page tut-tutting our potty-mouth, Sarah and I engaged in a long, long e-mail conversation about bad language, with some wild speculation about the origins of bad words on my part that I hope Sara Donati/Rosina Lippi and other linguists in the audience will help correct. Below is our dialogue, edited for clarity and length, and hopefully with most of our typos cleaned up.

Candy: It’s kinda funny how some people completely miss the point of the potty mouth. In some ways, it’s interesting to see how people interpret the foul language—like literary criticism, I think it oftentimes reveals more about the person than the text itself.

Sarah: Foul language is such an interesting topic. WHY do these words set people off? What’s funny is that, for me, cursing is like saffron at times, and like salt at others. If I’m good and mad, whoo damn. But other times, it’s to be sprinkled in with just silliness. I mean, why not play with all the words, including the cussy ones? Like “cuntmonkey?” Hee! I mean, I know better than to say that in front of my grandma, and if I ever addressed a conference group I probably would respect my elders and keep the potty mouth to a minimum, but why not play around with all the words in a language?

Candy: I think part of it’s a class issue. Dockside workers, fishwives, sailors, etc. are the ones known for using crude language. If you’re any kind of genteel, you use euphemisms.

And here’s something interesting: a lot of the four-letter words that are considered rude are Anglo-Saxon in origin. Shit, cunt and fuck are just a few, if I’m not mistaken. The acceptable forms of these words tend to be Latinate: feces, vagina, intercourse. I wonder if there’s some sort of connection between the Normandy invasion and the relegation of these words as foul language?

Sarah: You may be right that it’s an issue of class and of status. Cuss words in other languages are also fascinating. For example, in Quebec, all the Quebecois cuss words are church words: the words for tabernacle, chalice, etc are cuss words. I thought that was the goofiest thing, but what’s the difference between that and germanic English cuss words that are pretty much linked loosely by common vowel sounds and consonant combinations?

Candy: Hey, in Spanish, isn’t it, like, the worst thing in the world to call somebody a dog, a goat or a pig? I wonder how much of that has to do with an agriculture—many farmers don’t make all that much and they’re usually close to the bottom in terms of social class, so they pick on something ELSE lower than them on the ladder to use as an insult, which would happen to be barnyard animals.

Random subject switch: One of the things that has people hot under the collar about erotica and erotic romance is the use of what have traditionally been considered taboo terms. Personally, I’m happier with a cock being called a cock (or a penis or a dick) instead of a “throbbing love spear” or “iron-hard sword of potency.” But I know it bugs the shit out of many people that words like “fuck,” “tits” and “cunt” have finally snuck their way into a popular sub-genre of romance, and these words are creeping into other genres, too—many mainstream authors aren’t afraid to use the word “cock” nowadays.

Sarah: In Spanish, hm, it’s pretty damn insulting to call people a dog or a pig, but it’s also likely to have a double meaning that insults men’s masculinity, or imply that they are gay or being cheated on. “Cabron” for example, means male goat but also means your woman is cheating on you and you are a cuckhold. But then, a lot of men use it as a familiar term of address, like black men greeting each other with “nigger” and a big smile, though it can just as easily be used to insult the same person five minutes later.

Here’s big fun: cussing in Hebrew.

Zoobi! ZOOOOOBI!

But the question of erotica/euphemisms and foul language is very interesting, because one of the definining elements of a romance is in how it addreses sex between the protagonists. There are a lot of people who use crude language while engaging in sex acts, and can only do so when with someone they emotionally trust, etc. It’s a tangled issue, to be sure.

But do I use “fuck” as a touchstone when evaluating romance novels? Does a novel wherein the hero or the heroine uses the word “fuck” automatically get mentally shelved as “erotica” or just over the border into erotica-land? I remember one Susan Johnson novel (I think – I didn’t get past page 3) where the hero said he was some kind of “master of the art of fucking” and I was so turned off I tossed the book aside. Was it the language or the intentions being described by the hero (sex with as many meaningless partners as possible) that bothered me? Hmmmm.

Candy: OK, here’s my take on the Susan Johnson character:

It has nothing to do with the word “fuck.” The dude just sounds like a wanker.

Master of the Art Of Fucking? Bitch, please. Might as well call himself Master of the Art of Tie-Dye, or Master of the Art of Incredibly Fast Celtic Tapdancing. Either way, he sounds like an arrogant asshole, and not even in a sexy way—more like in a creepy, wears gold medallions and leers at really, really drunk chicks at the local Polly Esther’s kind of way. I don’t like people who brag but clearly aren’t joking. And I would’ve tossed the book, too, mostly because the image of the hero as some sort of self-inflated date rapist would’ve stuck with me.

Behold, the power of characterization with only a few words. Sometimes, I just can’t forgive a character for saying something incredibly stupid. Just can’t.

For erotic romance, number of scenes and length and detail of scenes definitely have a lot to do with its heat level. Frank language comes with the territory, especially for contemporaries. The zing of the taboo has a lot to do with it, too, but here’s the thing: euphemisms sound too silly and their usage can push the scene into purple prose territory, and medical terms sound, well, clinical. Dirty words, when used right, make a hot sex scene even hotter.

Sarah: THANK YOU that is EXACTLY what I meant. But his use of language was an illlustration of the callous “date rapist” attitude, and it wasn’t like he said he was a master of the art of humping or lovemaking or sensual arts. It was like, “I’m a master at getting my rocks off.” OK, ew.

But in a very hot erotica, there’s a lot of opportunity for use of the word “fuck” that can be hot, sensual, even emotionally charged, and not at all off-putting. I mean, no one is going to substitute “Fuck” for “I love you” any time soon but it can come (har) close!

The other interesting thing is the power of these words to offend people. I think people get more upset if you use the word “fuck” in front of them than if you step on their foot. I mean, it’s serious offensive territory that is hard to explain for people. “It’s just a bad word. You don’t use that word,” etc.

Candy: Some theories on why fuck (and shit and cunt) still have the ability to upset some people a great deal when they hear it being spoken:

1. It’s a class thing, which I’ve already talked about. To some people, being vulgar freaks them the hell out. Having the right upbringing, being POLITE, etc. is tantamount, otherwise the fabric of society will rip at its seams, doncha know? Introducing a rude little word like that, I don’t know, it’s like seeing a cockroach or a mouse in your nice, clean kitchen. It’s a reminder of seamier things that you DON’T want to be reminded of, like the sewer line that runs under your house. Your house wouldn’t be able to function without the sewer line, but you want to pretend it’s not there as much as possible. You also don’t want to remember that the mice and cockroaches are everywhere. That they, in fact, outnumber you, and swarm in all sorts of places you can’t see.

How’s that for a convoluted theory? In my opinion, it’s only a very small part of this discomfiture—and I don’t think many people acknowledge this consciously.

2. The words just SOUND crude to an English-speaker’s ears. I think there’s a definite prejudice left over from the Normandy invasion whereby words that sound Latinate or Romance-based are deemed more mellifluous than words that mimic the hard consonants and short, staccato syllables of Germanic languages. Think of all the words that tend to offend people: most of them are one syllable with short vowels, e.g. shit, cock, piss, cunt, fuck, frig, dick, prick, ass, balls. Check out what the more polite versions sound like: Feces/manure/waste, penis, urine, vagina, sexual intercourse/making love/coitus, buttocks/bottom/rectum, testicles.

3. Cultural norms are very, very strong. Never understimate the power of societal disapproval, and if the majority of society views “fuck” as being a rude word (and language is probably the largest, most complex exercise in consensus humans have ever come up with), then most people are going to have an instinctive reaction towards that word. There are so many complex associations with that word, most of them overwhelmingly negative: it’s rude, it’s violent, it’s uneducated, it’s juvenile, etc.

Why number 3 happens kind of ties in with number 1, I think, whereby words that are commonly used by the unwashed masses are somehow viewed as less polite than those with a proper edjumacation.

There’s probably other stuff I’m missing. But that sums up a large chunk of why I think “fuck” makes some people flip.

Sarah: I am in complete agreement with your theories, especially #2; the sounds of the words themselves are unique and all related combinations of vowels and consonants (did I say that earlier? do I repeat myself? Probably – sorry) and are related in their sound construction. When I used to work at a summer camp with little kids, my favorite cuss word was “mother puss bucket” because it sounded awful but wasn’t – and I got it from Ghostbusters.

Also, consider the almost rhyming elegance of the words you’re not allowed to use on the radio: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits. And the ever-attractive “Mongolian Cluster Fuck.” It’s almost lyrical if you say it over and over.

Speaking of, ever hear Eric Idle’s FCC Song?

Candy: Oh yeah, I forgot about the compound words! Motherfucker. Is there anything more horrific? There’s not just the icky, squidgy incest bit, you’re not tenderly making love to she who gave you life. You’re FUCKING her! Aaahahaha.

Mongolian Cluster Fuck. Wow. I love it. It has a certain rhythm. I could dance to it. Somebody needs to get Amon Tobin on the phone and have him make a song with samples of different people saying that phrase.

Suck is also rapidly becoming a rude word in and of itself, especially “It sucks.” Also, “It blows.” I realized this when an aunt of mine sniffed and said that she didn’t like her teenage kids saying “it sucks.” Part of it’s the association with sex acts, of course, but in and of themselves they have more innocent uses than not.

Sarah: Oh the compound words are the best. Cocksucker! Motherfucker! CUNTMONKEY! All these nice words all smushed up against a bad word. Heh.

Suck and Blow are totally bad words. “It Sucks” is something I’d never say in front of my grandmother, for instance. Also, it makes me think of Spaceballs: Megamaid has gone from suck to blow! Heh.

Candy: Hey, here’s another random thought about profanity:

A lot of the detractors often make noises about how profanity is an indicator of poor education, and furthermore, when used for humor, that it’s somehow appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Question: IS using “fuck” or “shit” REALLY appealing to the lowest common denominator? Given that most people still feel somewhat offended when that word is used. Though it might appeal to the lowest common denominator if the majority of people enjoyed being shocked by seeing taboos broken or whatever.

Sarah: The whole “lowest common denominator” aka “cheap laugh” theory is odd. Because I bet that one of those words is EXACTLY what they say when they stub their toe in the middle of the night on the way to the comfort station/lavatory.

The idea that cussing is lowbrow easy shock laugh also implies that uneducated people only find vulgarity funny. But then, I find Dave Barry, who is very G-rated in his language (if you consider poop G-rated that is) hysterical, as much as I do, say, Chris Rock.

But you know, I can think of a few situations wherein cussing seemed so out of place and over the top that I noticed and/or raised a brow. It has to be used correctly, you know?

Candy: Yup, God knows I find a wide range of things funny. I think most of Wes Anderson’s movies are screamingly funny, for instance, but they’re not exactly known for the blue language.

And Dave Barry rocks my world. So does the other Very Funny Dave, Dave Sedaris, who’s not quite as G-rated, but he doesn’t gratuitously cuss, either.

And yes, there’s definitely a time and place for bad language. During formal occasions, or in certain types of work environments, or among a group of people who would frown at that sort of language (unless you want to be a dick), letting fly with the bad words probably isn’t the best idea. But in informal settings? Well, why the hell not?

Sarah: Hubby has a theory that one has to be rather intelligent to appreciate Beavis and Butthead, that it’s only funny if you are smart – he later amended that with, “and you’re not insecure about it.” I think that applies to a lot of scatalogical and lowbrow humor. In “New York” magazine there is a graph of current events with an X axis of “highbrow/lowbrow” and a Y axis of “brilliant/deplorable” – and all these local and national events plotted out on the axes. I LOVE the brilliant and lowbrow, and the lowbrow and deplorable. Paris Hilton is usually somewhere on the edge of lowbrow about to fall into the abyss. It’s fabulous.

Candy: Another random thought, this one related to the coining of terminology:

I think the taboo nature of slang words for assorted smelly/squishy/sexual body functions and body parts is reinforced by the decision to use Latin and Greek roots to come up with new words for assorted conditions.

F’rinstance: coprophagy. That is one fancy word for shit eating.

But to be fair, this happens even when there aren’t any bad words involved. Doug Hoffman wrote a hilarious post about what Ear, Nose and Throat specialists have been called.

I find it interesting that a profession that is immersed in the mess and stink of human lives and disease as medicine also makes quite a conscious effort to remove itself from it, at least linguistically. Name something in a dead language for instant cachet! It makes you part of the exclusive club. You call a necrophiliac a necrophiliac, not a corpse-fucker.

And a really random question: why does “cum” look so much worse than “come”? They’re pronounced the same, and they basically mean the same thing, except the latter has non-sexual synonyms. Perhaps that’s it? When you write down “cum,” there’s no mistaking what you mean, there’s no cushion of synonyms? And then there’s the fact that the porn industry popularized that particular spelling, too.

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Random Musings

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  1. Sarah F. says:

    The predictive text on my cell phone for text messages won’t predict fuck, cunt, shit, or damn.  I have to trick it.  Which then puts the word in its memory, which I find deliciously subversive.  It has serendipity, but not fuck. 

    Fuck that.

  2. My daughter asked too why I could cuss and she couldn’t. I told her, “These are powerful words, grownup words, and until you’re big enough to use them properly I’d prefer you didn’t.” It was the same way I explained why I could drive a car.

    Then I blew her mind. I said, “If you want, I’ll set the timer for five minutes and you can say any dirty word you want. Anytime you want, we’ll set the timer and you can cuss all you want until the timer beeps.”

    Her little face fell, and I congratulated myself on taking all the fun out of forbidden words. *evil grin* She hasn’t sworn since.

  3. Candy says:

    Personally, I think much of the attitude about swear words is class & education related. As a child I was repeatedly told that well educated people don’t swear because their vocabulary is big enough to express what they feel without using curses.

    Oh yes, I’ve heard that one a lot, too. That, and “nice girls don’t use that word!” have been some of the most common things people have said to me when I say something naughty. Poor bastards. I think it’s the glasses that make people assume I’m nice.

    My reply to the “smart people don’t cuss because their vocabulary is so very, very, very huge” is that if one has a very large vocabulary and precise word usage is important, then using “stupid fucker” when it’s the precise term needed as opposed to, say, “moronic fornicator,” is important, too.

  4. This reminded me… At one of my schools, one of the tactics used by the herd of girl-bullies in my year was to use their chosen victim’s name as a swear word. Double whammy on the creatively malicious intent front there methinks, although the threat was worse than the execution, which came across as a tad dork-like. From this we learn that lots of fricatives and fewer syllables are really important in a good swear-word.

    And as Candy has pointed out, presentation is very important too. It’s the usual gender/class/culture thing, which also comes into people’s choice of words. Growing up, I was always told that bad language was a sign of a limited intellect. Nowadays I like to take advantage of the fact that my f-off has far more impact when uttered calmly and with a nicely distinct middle-class English accent. There is something about clearly pronouncing the final consonants that makes the words just that much more venemous.

    But I’m also quite jealous of the way society approves more of male creativity when it comes to foul language. Somehow, the impression is that women’s swearing is a Very Serious Matter, not something to revel in. I know my colleagues’ perceptions of me would change if I didn’t edit some of my word choices in times of stress, no matter how funny they might be.

  5. L says:

    The concept of “bad” words and how people respond to them has always interested me (and others obviously, how else would a book called On Bullshit become a NYT bestseller).  I remember learning in Spain that there was a whole culture of cussing built around the word mother, including “en la madre” to mean “in deep shit.”  The literal translation is an innocent thing “in the mother,” but the cultural meaning was what gave it power.

    My mother tried the route of “Good girls don’t…” for the first part of my life, but quickly gave up after instituting only one rule: No racial slurs of any kind.  At all.  Bitch, fucker and cocksucker did not fall in this category because they were universal to her (and she’d reclaimed the title bitch as her own years before).  It took the forbidden from the cuss words, while emphasizing just how wrong slurs were for me to use, or even contemplate using.

    This left me a lot of room to express myself, which was probably a good thing because for years I worked on sets, learning most of my more creative cusses from carpenders.  Nothing brings about eye-popping verbal acrobatics quite like putting a nail through your hand.  I didn’t use fuck, shit, damn and the others much outside set building simply because there seemed to be no reason unless I was emphasizing a point, or making a joke.

    I would like to point out, though, that verbally you can an intone any word with the same strength as the word fuck (take AuntiePeril’s example of the Queen Bees in her school).  It’s all about how you say it, the emphasis.  You are, of course, still thinking it (that’s how you’re given what words you are saying that strength), but it doesn’t have to be verbally expressed.  This ability is lost on the internet where we just stare at words on the screen.  Intonation is hard to convey and we find ourselves relying on other words to get our point across (both in humor and anger).  A well placed cuntmonkey can do this, whereas an italized word might not carry the same weight. 

    The con of this is that while we might get our point across with these words, heavy repetition should be avoided because the power those words carry becomes voided (this works fine in humor, but nulls the use of fuck and others in anger).  We can count exactly how many times a person writes fuck, our eyes can be immediately drawn to it while we skip past other words.  It’s just like you wouldn’t want an author to overuse the word “like” or “Uh” when writing the dialogue of a valley girl.  We’re intelligent readers who give far more weight to each word than we might if we were listening instead.  Perhaps this is why Dave Barry is just as funny as Chris Rock.  He ways each word, and uses rhythic tricks to get his point across.  (This doesn’t mean that I love Chris Rock or Robin Williams humor any less.)

    Words have power, we’re taught that from day one, but we’re the ones that instill that power.  I can still remember babysitting once where I stubbed my toe in front of my charge and yelled, “Fudge,” at the top of my lungs (thinking to protect little ears).  The little boy looked up at me—he was four at the time—and asked rather matter-of-factly, “Why didn’t you just say the real word?”

    I was shocked, not because he’d heard the “real” word, but because he’d made the immediate connection between fudge and fuck.  Sure, I’d been thinking the word in my head, but I hadn’t said it, right?  I just gave it the same weight.

    I’m off to work now, where I only think queefweasel at my misbehaving customers instead of saying it.  Of course, I’ll have to smile big at the same time to offset the chance it comes out in my “Can I help you find anything today?” but I think I’m up for the challenge.

  6. Katy says:

    When I was young, growing up in a Christian household, taking the lord’s name in vain in any way was incredibly bad.  This included the obvious like god, but also gosh and golly.  My sister and I were reduced to guy.  Very sad.  It is very frustrating to be reduced to something innately unsatisfying like golly, or darn it when something more pungent is really needed, because of the audience. 
    Interestingly enough, now tht I am grown, I catch my mother swearing pretty often.  She says shit now.  Very impressive. 
    My answer to an unappreciative audience is to swear in another language.  A number of swear words is all I have retained from years of French class. 
    I’m sure that I was working around to some deep thoughts on language etc, but I am so braindead right now I can’t figure out where I was going. 
    “Much learning hath made her mad”

  7. azteclady says:

    Somewhat off-topic:

    I do not know for sure, but I would bet that ‘bad’ words (or rather they way they are used/emphasized) vary slightly from region to region within the US, just as they do between the UK and the US, or both these and Australia, etc.

    In the same way, cuss words in Spanish vary greatly between LatinAmerican countries, which can lead to some rather hilarious misunderstandings. Two examples (which will probably lose quite a bit upon translation):

    Some 20 years ago in Puerto Rico, a Mexican friend yelled “mira que (él) se tragó el bicho!” in a crowded movie theater. Literally, “look, he’s swalloed the bug!” For the Puerto Rican audience, though, what she said was “look, he’s just swallowed a cock!”

    A few years later, in Venezuela, I invited an insurance agent to step into my apartment by saying “Por favor, pásele al tiradero.” My meaning, “Please step into the mess.” What he heard, “Welcome to my brothel.”

    Slightly closer to the actual topic: it’s definitely the intent that matters, as far as I’m concerned. And creative cussing can be a thing of beauty.

  8. Anne says:

    I remember, when I was in college, I tried to read a translation of the Chinese novel, Golden Lotus. The translation had been done in the early part of the 20th century, and the translator commented in his preface that the text had given him many problems because much of it was too offensive to translate. He’d felt, however, that pulling out all of the pornographic/erotic descriptions destroyed the text. His solution was utterly frustrating for me—

    He put all the dirty bits in Latin. Sometimes, it was a word or two, sometimes a sentence or two, but others, it was paragraphs. I could guess at what was going on, very roughly, and I suppose I could have turned to a Latin-English dictionary, but… It annoyed me.

    How could it be wrong to translate such things from Chinese to English but all right to translate them from Chinese to Latin? That was my introduction to that particular form of intellectual snobbery.

  9. Stef says:

    Hot Damn!  Way Cool Blog Topic!

    In China, one of the most insulting things to call someone is a dog-fart, prounounced GoPee.  Interesting tidbit, I thought, but Whoo Damn! it was awesome when my aunt got pissed at a market lady in Xian and shouted, “GoPee!”  The market lady shouted back, but I couldn’t translate that fast, so had no clue what she called my aunt.  Later, I asked my aunt, but she didn’t know either.  Her Mandarin tutor didn’t cover creative cuss words.  Wonder if there’s a word for fuck in Chinese?  Bound to be.  Isn’t there a word for fuck in every language?  Uckfay ouyay.

    I feel like I just got out of jail.  Spent the past seven days on revisions that damn near killed me – almost no sleep, at least a thousand gallons of coffee, a carton of cigarettes and food products out of paper bags.  The point?  The characters said fuck so many times, even I was shocked when I did the final read.  Lots of Jesus Christ! and Mother of God! and the like.  I think I was a little stressed, which means I cuss a lot, which means the characters cuss a lot.

    Can’t wait to get the line edits. Ha!

    It’s sure good to be back – I missed the Bitches!

  10. starla says:

    I used to substitute foul words with PC-polite terms: fuck = fish. I remember my cousin used to cuss in Mandarin (a language I swear that does not have any form of bad words): “chicken egg cake (qi tan gao)” or “stinky rotten egg (chou qi tan), which confused me for the longest time! In Mandarin, most of the cuss words are compounded, and said vehemently. I think it’s more of the delivery than the meaning, that drives the cussing across.

  11. Delivery can make the nicest word the most hideous insult, but sometimes I need words that have a built-in emotional power. They scream when I can’t. And this power comes from knowing deep-down that the word is baaaaaad, and everyone else knows it too. So context and even just the sound of the word can make a difference. Gotta spit out those fricatives, baby.

    Take the whole word/name substitution thing. Shouting someone’s name at the top of your lungs when annoyed can sound as if you’re hollering at a pet that’s just cr*pped on the rug. It’s better if you turn the person’s name into an insult (“You’re such an [insertnamehere]”), ‘cos then you’re clearly objectifying them. Same goes with using sugar for sh*t and so on. In some circumstances the meaning is obvious, but in other cases, only a sh*t will do (heh-heh – thanks, mum for the latent toilet humour gene).

    Besides, if you don’t have rude words, then you can’t have words that sound rude but aren’t. And then we’d be a queefweazel, a monkeysporker and at least one dodgy brand the poorer.

  12. Candy says:

    Wonder if there’s a word for fuck in Chinese?

    There is in Cantonese, but I don’t know if there is in Hokkien or Mandarin. It’s pronounced “tiu”—soft “t” like for “tao,” so it’s a sound intermediate between t and d. “Fuck you” is “tiu nei,” and “fuck your mother” is “tiu nei ma,” while “fuck your mother’s smelly cunt” is “tiu nei ma chow hai.”

    The problem with Chinese cussing is that it’s allllll dependent on inflection. Each syllable has five (or was it six?) possible inflections, all of them with drastically different meanings, so if you say “tiu nei ma chow hai” with the wrong inflection, you could be saying “fuck your horse’s fried crab.” Which, come to think of it, is pretty funny, if somewhat puzzling.

  13. SB Sarah says:

    “Fuck your horse’s fried crab?”

    We had SO better be the #1 search result for that soon!

    What an outstanding title for a romance novel, too.

  14. Stef says:

    Cool!  On our next China trip, I can tell nasty market ladies to fuck their horse’s fried crab. 

    Many moons ago, a friend and I were getting hassled by some guys in Mexico City.  We were in Chapultapec Park, where there’s a large statue of a grasshopper.  In the heat of the moment, she screwed up and told one of them to fuck his grasshopper.

    Yeah, he was put in his place.  I still tell my friend to fuck her grasshopper – although now in English because my Spanish is all but forgotten.

  15. Couple of notes on UK/US swearing and the Buffy thing.

    ‘Shite’ is a way of pronouncing ‘shit’ in the UK when you are pretending not to say ‘shit’. See also ‘merde’. It’s a deliberate fake euphemism rather than our standard pronounciation which is stil the hard version.

    The one which got all the tv censors excited in Buffy/Angel was Spike’s habit of saying ‘bollocks’. As the BBC liked to show Buffy at 6.30pm (i.e. before the watershed), this meant a lot of cutting. ‘Bollocks’ is one of my favourite words.

    The one which confuses British people is ‘fanny’ for ‘arse’ because ‘fanny’ is a euphemism for ‘cunt’. So you can imagine the confusion the word ‘fanny pack’ causes over here. I thought it was slang for sanitary towels for a while.

    I’m all for swearing but I still have problems using ‘cunt’. Because it is only used by men to insult other men (women are, obviously, bitches) I struggle to accept it as a positive word. Besides, I’m English – I have the handy word ‘fanny’!

  16. “The one which confuses British people is ‘fanny’”

    …so just imagine how a woman feels if she’s told there’s a hole in her knickers and her fanny’s showing (this is not allegorical!).

    Bollocks is a well-rounded and richly evocative word, but for really creative swearing, I truly appreciate the many useful applications of “arse”. My current favorite is the “cake-in-arse-party” which has lovely nuances of frustration and crushed hope.

    Linguistic fun fact: the word “rooster” was invented by Puritans in 18th century America so they could avoid sullying their mouths with “cock”. However, this term didn’t penetrate (hur-hur) British English as the standard word for some time. This older word is used in many books published in the 20th century, including school textbooks.

    Some of these books were used as teaching material in schools in the former Soviet Union where I betook myself and my filthy mind to teach English several years ago. During a class discussion on holidays, my paper-thin pedagogical dignity was torn to shreds by my warring fits of hysterical laughter and frantic impulse to call child services after one of my students said, “Teacher, I do not like going to my Grandfather’s farm because I am scared of his big cock. It chases me around the barn.”

    Further to this, in Arabic, the word for rooster is also “deek”, but much of the teaching material in many Arab countries is also fairly vintage. This led to a very awkward moment when discussing some poetry with a male teacher who innocently answered my vocabulary question with the immortal line, “Deek is kok. Is kowk.”

  17. Candy says:

    Aaahahahahahahaha.

    Oh boy.

    I can definitely testify to the fact that words that would raise eyebrows here like cock and pussy are still perfectly kosher words in South East Asia.

    And because of our accent, most of us who move to America learn pretty quick to flatten the A sound when we say “can’t.”

    One of the VPs of my company is from Hong Kong, though he’s been living in America for many years. A few years ago, we were having problems with a product line, resulting in lots of angry customers declaring they’d nevah, evah buy anything from us again. So this VP came up with an elaborate marketing plan to woo these customers back. Its Secret Code Name? Operation Snatch, because “we’re going to snatch the business from our competition!” Picture a tiny Chinese guy saying this, making the appropriate grabbing motions with his hands.

    Nobody at the meeting could quite keep their faces straight, but by some miracle, he didn’t notice. Somebody must’ve dropped a word in his ear, though, because not a PEEP about Operation Snatch at the next meeting.

  18. Victoria Dahl says:

    I used my shiny new knowledge of English slang last night. We were watching “Extras” and I had to explain to my husband that fanny means cunt. I was so proud!!!

  19. Victoria – this the joy of trans-Atlantic swearing. Extra levels of fun!

    I forgot another Spike favourite: bugger. Definitely rude. For anyone who doesn’t know, it refers to taking someone via the Hersey highway, but is also a general term of annoyance.

    Does it bother me coming across such words in fiction? Well, no. If you want even a smidge of realism, especially in dialogue, then the rude words and slang are the things which lift the fiction up out of the banal.

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