Y’all are fuckers.

I’m serious about the comments for this post being for dissent only. DISSENT ONLY.

But some of the comments already made make me laugh (especially Stephen’s—expect your “I <3 Smart Bitches 4-EVA!” bumper sticker in the mail soon, fanboyyyyy) so I’m preserving them here.

Don’t make me hurt you.

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  1. 1
    Darlene says:

    I’m sorry, I can’t hold back.  I know you said only comments that disagree with you, but I have to say that I lost any respect for the poster of the anti-SB comments when I saw it was “Anonymous”.  Have the ovaries to stand up for what you believe in by putting your name behind it.

  2. 2
    Aoife says:

    Well, shit.  I *have* to disagree?  Where do you get off telling me what I have to do, huh?  (Will that cover the snarky requirement, and can I now say what I really wanted to?)

    One of the things I love about SB is that there is so much humour, along with the intelligent discussion.  I love that posters can say what they think, I love that not everyone agrees, and I love that fact that we can enjoy the romance genre without buying into some of the ridiculous conventions that go along with it.  For the most part, discussions on SB are some of the most well-balanced and intelligent around.  That all said, the specific post you’re referencing was one I decided to stay out of after a certain point, not because dissension wasn’t being tolerated, but because the whole tone of the conversation was drifting out of my zone of interest.  Besides, there were others who were doing a rip-snorting job of being the voices of reason.

  3. 3
    Candy says:

    From Stephen:

    OK, so you say:

    To be honest, there weren’t any romance websites out there that said “cuntmonkey,” “queefweasel” or “buttpirate,” and Sarah and I set out to correct this tragic lack.

    Well, firstly there are NO sites out there that say “queefweasel” AT ALL. I think that you made that one up.

    As for “Buttpirate”, well what about this then? It even has man-titty (admittedly nip-free man-titty, but you go with what you got).

    So I think that your defence is all shot to pieces and that SBTB is really a subversive organisation dedicated to the destruction of everything that AAR stands for (Association of American Railroads, American Academy of Religion, Association of Artists’ Representatives, Action for Aboriginal Rights, African-American Review and Association for Automated Reasoning).

    That do for dissent?  And don’t you go calling me a fanboy.

    (Could you send the bung in used fivers if sovereigns and guineas are too heavy for air mail).

  4. 4
    Candy says:

    From Jennifer:

    I must dissent:  the Pepto-pink of the SB background just doesn’t work for me—reminds me of a particularly vile episode of stomach flu.  *huge sigh*  But I focus on the content – the content is what matters!  *heaves another sigh, feeling like a martyr*

    Jennifer ;-P

  5. 5

    Bitch bitch bitch… Now had this been you at my kitchen table, and I was being treated to such a rant (tantrum)… you’d receive the raised eyebrow and the calm placing of the whisky bottle in front of you. Get over it. Not everyone is going to like you. but I do.. still, get over it.

    PS. Cuntmonkey! Queefweasel. Assmuncher… god I dream about going to a railroad station or a restaurant and acting like I have Tourette’s now that I have these in my repertoire.

    X

  6. 6
    Amy E says:

    I’ve never won a Bitch title, and that just pisses me the fuck off.  And you didn’t review my book.  And… well, I probably just got myself in trouble with that one, so pretend I didn’t say that.  *Ahem.*

    The Bitches don’t update the “What We’re Reading Now” thing enough—either that, or you people read really damn slow.  I want more snarkage of covers, and no matter how much more you do, I want MORE THAN THAT. 

    I also want an easier job with more pay and my very own harem of boy-toys.  If you provide these things, I might be persuaded to share the boy-toys.

    And that is my dissent.  Now how do I change it so my name doesn’t show?

  7. 7
    Arethusa says:

    Shit, I should have read this post first.

    :)

  8. 8

    Hmm, ok, I actually *like* that hot pink. 

    So there!

  9. 9
    celeste says:

    Personally, I think some people out there are jealous of this site’s success. That’s what a lot of this has sounded like, to me. When I want to get an honest, witty (and ideally profane) review of a book, I go to SBTB and to Mrs. Giggles. You’ve never let me down yet. AAR, on the other hand, is about 50/50 when it comes to hitting the mark on whether or not I’ll like a book.

    All that being said, and I do LUUURVE you guys, can y’all find a synonym for “retard”? It fucking chaps my ass when people use that word.

    I’m just sayin’…

    :-)

  10. 10

    I come over here and read because I know that even if I don’t agree with what Candy and Sarah say, at least they’re bloody well honest. That means a lot to me.

    Plus, on how many other romance review sites do you get the chance to snort coffee out your nose at 7AM because it’s just too goddamn funny?

    I would have to agree with Celeste; I think people are just jealous. It’s just sour grapes and the same old goddamn chestnut: “How DARE these uppity women speak their minds and USE NAUGHTY WORDS?” Unfortunately a lot of people would like to censor this site because the pottymouths belong (by and large) to women. If y’all were a bunch of guys, there wouldn’t be this huge brouhaha. But since you’re female, it’s a double slap in the face to all the joyless idiots who get offended at the smallest thing so they can scream and beat their breasts and make believe their poor shallow little lives have some importance-

    This rant was interrupted as a public service. The author of this rant has been dragged away spluttering with indignation to a room full of nothing but bottles of Mad Housewife and a TV screen playing “Sex In The City” so she can chill the hell out. Thank you.

  11. 11
    Rustybitch says:

    Nifty lay-out, not enough booze.
    ‘Nuff said.

  12. 12
    Stef2 says:

    Well I like the pink.
    And the chicks with the funkadelic glasses.

    And Lilith.

    Stef

  13. 13

    Fine. Dissent.

    Wait, isn’t doing what you say and posting dissent in a way agreeing with you, which would not actually make it dissent?

    Discuss.

    Anyway…my bit of dissent, dutifully noted.

    I ain’t nobody’s fucking fangirl. I came here because of the distinct lack of bullshit on this site compared to others. That and the bloody hilarious cover snarking. So there. Fangirl and synchophant, my fat ass.

    “How DARE these uppity women speak their minds and USE NAUGHTY WORDS?”

    Oops. Guess they just slipped out. Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

  14. 14
    Shannon says:

    I’d say I like the hot pink and the retro chicks, but I don’t have a freakin title, either, so I’m just one of the masses.

    Dissent…hmm… You should be posting the personal ads at 6am eastern time because I clearly need the head start.

  15. 15
    Michelle, the Diva says:

    Well, now I’m well and truly pissed.

    My ranting post is in the wrong damn topic.

    Somehow, that’s GOTTA be you SBs fault.

    And I don’t have a title either, for fuck’s sake.

  16. 16
    Candy says:

    I would have to agree with Celeste; I think people are just jealous. It’s just sour grapes and the same old goddamn chestnut: “How DARE these uppity women speak their minds and USE NAUGHTY WORDS?”

    I’m not sure how much I buy into this. My gut feeling is, there’s more going on than jealousy (I don’t think all that many people are jealous of SB, really—I mean, good god, WHY?) and squickiness over the cussin’. I think good old-fashioned irritation plays a LOT into the reaction we’re seeing, too. It’s a lot easier to accuse someone who already irritates you of something heinous than to accuse someone who’s generally calm and reasonable. I’ve been thinking a lot about this today, and I think it’s basically a consequence of the rather abrasive tone in a lot of my posts, and I’ll have to live with some people reading a LOT more into my words than I ever intended, merely because they just don’t like my persona all that much and they’re that much more willing to assume the worst, instead of taking the time to read the words more carefully.

  17. 17
    Candy says:

    Yeccch, I just re-read the above and noticed it sounded as if I’m pitying myself, when really, I’m feeling contemplative and not at all “wah wah woe is me.”

    *headdesk*

    I’m off to bed.

  18. 18
    AngieW says:

    I dissented in the other thread, but I have more. Aren’t you glad?

    Where are the lists we were promised? You know, the ones where readers recommended books in different genres? And how come you haven’t done any more posts asking for recommendations in other genres? We’ve only had like two…or maybe three. That leaves a shitload of genres out. Unless you’re elitists and those are the only genres you’re allowing into the club? (insert smiley of your choice here).

    I think we should be allowed to win more than one title. I need some breasts to go with my Buttertouche. Fair? Who cares about fair? Every fangirl (or boy) for themselves! and I love Shannon’s idea of posting at 6am Est. Luuuurve it.

  19. 19
    JEA says:

    I visit your site because you seem to be like me in three key aspects:

    (1) you cast the critical eye, versus the rose colored glasses gaze, over the genre;

    (2) you use the same language in daily conversations that I do; and

    (2) you seem open to discussing just how hot gay sex is.

    If you start being something other than yourselves and trade in your unique voice for something that pleases people, I’ll stop coming here.

    Who cares if people think you are abrasive? Anti-Christian? Just be.

    Joyce

  20. 20
    FerfeLaBat says:

    Candy,

      You are too sensitive.  Anonymous is fucking with you because she knows it “chaps your ass” and it gets a rise out of you.  While fun to watch and god knows your rants are hilarious, I feel I must point out that you are fueling your own misery by responding.

    I recommend two things:

    1.  Be patient.
    2.  Get even.

    If you are patient you will piss off your critic to the point where she will take desperate measures to spark your ire and thus reveal herself. 

    Then …

    You can get even.

    Of course – when I piss people off they definitely know it’s me and if they know it’s me fucking with them, then they also know it’s just boredom rearing her ugly head again.  Boredom is a bitch.

    I have a cold.  I will even out your board again with dissenting posts when I feel better.

    —Ferfe

  21. 21

    Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, did someone just call Candy too sensitive?

    Now I have seen everything. (Wink wink, Ferfe. Great post.)

  22. 22
    a.a.johnston says:

    I’d have offered dissent if I’d caught the other post, but I failed to check in every day.

    I am, I admit, not here for the reviews or even the cover art although I think the former are well done, and the latter make me grin every time.

    I don’t read many romances any longer. I did when I was younger, but the romances I read now aern’t…well, they tend to not be of the AAR/RWA scope for the most part.

    I tripped onto your site from a link elsewhere and mostly why I keep coming back is because you’re interesting. Funny. Irreverant. Reverant. Smart Bitches and SB Fangrrls and Fanboys alike.

    And I like the concept of the title of your site. I consider myself a reasonably smart bitch who likes all manner of things that either my gender or my intelligence CW thinks inappropriate. Trashy Novels included. I like NASCAR too and not for the cute drivers. I’m all about the cars, baby.

    Plus, you have the best friends to your site.

    My only real dissent was that you possibly give your detractors way too much air time. I’ve only been reading for a short while so maybe I just came in during a freak shit-storm, but really, this isn’t CNN or the Political Round Table.

    Opposing opinions in the blogsphere is what keeps it running. If we all agreed, we’d have damn little to talk about.

    Also, the pink. Not that we’re voting or anything but OMG the PINK!

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