Hairy Topic

Evil Auntie Peril, who cracks me up, wrote in the following: There is the historical association: male long hair = virility. From Samson to those wacky Merovingian reges criniti (“Cut my head off, but no, don’t take the hair!!!”) to Fabio, the legend continues. Which begs the question, do flowing locks counteract the girly aspects of man-titty, or enhance it? Or are they subliminally evoking the unbridled passion one is guaranteed to find beneath these covers?

As for those of us with a fancy for the follically-challenged, I think Suzanne Brockman once wrote a hero with a receding hairline, but he never made it onto the cover (sniff). .

So true, the manly hair being a sign of virility. I agree that it is odd that the women on romance novel covers often have long, long, LONG hair and it is possible that they are subliminally echoing the virility of the man with their unbridled manes of peculiarly-colored hair.

But EAP’s comment at the bottom, about Suzanne Brockman’s hero with a receeding hairline made me ponder: how much does it matter to women today whether a man has a receeding hairline? Does it bother any of us? I think this might be the secret equal to women’s obsession with weight. We all worry (well, many of us do!) about our weight and whether the men in our lives notice our cellulite, our saddlebags, our muffin tops.

I’ve had a few conversations with male friends – who are profoundly unwilling to discuss their hairlines until prodded with the stubborn force of Sarah’s Will – wherein they’ve told me it is their biggest personal fear, that they will lose their hair. One friend of mine told me that her husband, who is a tall, muscular, kind, and incredibly talented carpenter, looked at her with a panicked expression when he realized he’d lost some hair and asked her seriously, “Are you going to leave me?”

While this has nothing to do with romance novels, it does touch on romance, attraction, and images of virility – which we here at SBTB like to skewer at least once a week! So – what’s your opinion: if a man loses his hair, is he out to pasture or is can he still be a hotty mc hot hot? Are we all holding on to the idea of a man with thick, luscious hair as the ultimate sign of handsomeness (and don’t forget those mantitties!) or is it ok for a romance hero, or a hero in our real life romances, to have a slighty-less-than-full head of hair?

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Random Musings

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  1. Aoife says:

    Ewwwww.  The only way it could be worse would be if the skullet went with a wife-beater shirt and enough back hair to make a gorilla weep in envy.  Excuse me while I go wash my eyes out.

  2. Kristin says:

    I like me some Bruce Willis with shaved head.

    On a book cover?  I will throw out another vote for the headless torso.

  3. Tonda says:

    You’re all killing me. I’ll run the gambit from hulking Vin to pretty, pretty Cillian (I wouldn’t kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers).

    Mmmmmmmmmm. Pretty picture: A Vin and Cillian sandwich . . .

    Yes to bald.

    Yes to long hair (but not to the dreaded “oldie locks”; the 30-40 something who just can’t admit he’s balding and it’s time to cut those long locks off!).

    No to combovers.

    No to mullets.

  4. You people have scarred me for life.  This afternoon I was standing in the check-out line at Publix, leafing through People magazine, when behind me steps a hunky guy in a tight t-shirt with just the nicest short stubble around the sides and back of his head.  His wife and baby were with him and all I can think is, “Dude,how would you like to be a romance cover model and break the mold forever?”

    But I refrained.  I think the wife would have beaned me with her bag of Huggies.

  5. White Raven:  Not that I’m trying to promote my own books or anything (“She’s a liar, my precious, Darlene is always promoting her own books, trust Smeagol…bad hobbitess….”), but if you go to my website (click on my name), you can read an excerpt from CAPTAIN SINISTER’S LADY, coming out in Jan. 2006. 

    I have to admit, and this will date me, that when I used to watch “Bonanza” and all the girls were cooing over Little Joe, I had a soft spot for Hoss, the big galoot who was rough around the edges, not pretty, far from polished, but you knew he’d make some lucky woman a fine husband some day. I always wanted to write a hero like that, so I did.

  6. H says:

    The Rock! He keeps it way short, showing off that great face (and expressions that make me laugh).

    Man, I think I have to leave hubby home when I go see Transporter 2. Too much drool. I find myself day dreaming scenarios to top the oil fight scene… That’s what I want for my birthday, an afternoon alone with Jason (and maybe some popcorn).

    Gari’s right though – in the end it’s about the guy himself and not his hair. And I can’t think of a situation where hair sold the book (for me). So it’d be good to mix things up a bit, get rid of the Fabio stereotype.

  7. t-beth says:

    Mitch Pileggi … mmm …

  8. Cindy says:

    Would I pick up a book with a balding/bald hero on the cover?…..

    Definitely!  Apart from all the gorgeous bald hunks you have listed, my first crush was on Yul Briner after seeing King & I when I was younger.

    I have always had a thing for a clean head and I don’t mind the ‘horseshoe effect’ as long as it’s kept neat and short – I do not want to see a shiny top plate with long locks hanging around it.

    Long haired heros?  Don’t beat me about the head, but I like a long haired hero too.  I like long hair ala Sully in Doctor Quinn or Brad Pitt in Legend of the Falls – ya know one length – can’t be doing with mullets.

    I think with most covers it the combo of Hair and Man Titties that is just too much.  Give me one or the other.

  9. fiveandfour says:

    I find myself day dreaming scenarios to top the oil fight scene

    H:  don’t remember that scene.  I think I’ll need to do some “research” before Transporter 2 comes out to refresh my memory.  Mmmm, research…

  10. Candy says:

    fiveandfour: YOU DON’T REMEMBER THE OIL FIGHT SCENE?

    Jason Statham, shirtless and covered in oil, sliding all around and kicking mondo bad guy ass in the bus depot.

    Just thinking about it… ‘Scuse me, I need a few moments alone….

  11. sara g says:

    I had to comment when I noticed that no one has mentioned Christopher Meloni (Elliot Stabler) from Law and Order:SVU.  He is balding, but you barely notice (unless you’ve just watched an early episode where he had a lot more hair) because the man is just SO DAMN SEXY.  Shoulders/arms/chest really do a lot for me, and the man is a former marine, so he has got those in spades.

    I like the long hair (all one length of course, no mullets) in movies, like Johnny Depp, or Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall.

    But in real life, ick.

    Give me big arms and balding.

  12. white raven says:

    Robyn:  Isaacs is eye candy.  Loved him in The Patriot.  He has the sexiest sneer.  But, but – as Hook in Peter Pan, he is drool-worthy.  Yay!  Another Isaacs fan!

    Darlene:  Thank you!  I’ll definitely check out the excerpt.  I think a Hagrid type hero is fantastic.

    Candy:  That picture of the skullet – my God, I think I’m going to have nightmares for weeks about that.

  13. Gabriele says:

    Ok, maybe you Bitches can help me here. 🙂

    I want to depict my Picts as correctly as possible and get away from those horrible 19th century paintings. Well, on the stones they are portrayed with shoulder-length hair (yummy) and goatees (so not yummy). I’m really tempted to somehow get rid of the goatee at least for my MC Talorcan and his friend Cailthearn (no funny thoughts here *wiggles finger*), but I’m too much of a historian to do this lightheartedly.

    What do you think about beards, goatees or moustaches (I have less problems with these it they are not the oily sort)? Sexy or not sexy?

    Candy, maybe you can make this a new post. *puppy look* 🙂

  14. Kristin says:

    Goatees – seriously hot. Especially when they are on the right face.  (like my spouse!)

  15. Robyn says:

    Oh, Christopher Meloni. DROOOOOOL.

    And Raven, I was so embarrassed when I bought Peter Pan for my kids and I spent the whole night slack-jawed and swooning over Captain Hook! That’s one pirate that can kidnap me anytime.

  16. Gail says:

    Since I’ve been married many years to a (short) guy who went bald when he was 24, and my sons are both well on their way (and one is just 18! poor baby), I have to agree that bald is beautiful. Jason Statham actually rather reminds me of my fella (when mine was younger and a lifeguard)(He could wear a Speedo. And look good in it.)

    But I don’t have a problem with long hair either. DH’s brother is as bald on top as my fella, and when he was in med school, he had no time for haircuts. He once had a patient identify him as “That doctor that looks like Ben Franklin.”

    There’s a guy on one of the TLC home make-over shows—“Sparky” on In A Fix—who is incredibly hot, with a balding spot in back. His hair isn’t cut short—mostly for lack of time and interest, I think—but he looks fine. Better than fine.

    More testosterone. Definitely.

  17. fiveandfour says:

    Jason Statham, shirtless and covered in oil, sliding all around and kicking mondo bad guy ass in the bus depot.

    OK, my plans for “research” just went from “someday soon” to “now now now”.  Must go find this movie tonight!

  18. Alyssa says:

    I’d love to read about a bald hero. I suspect that’s a long way off, though. I’d love to be wrong about this.

    There are definitely sexy bald men out there. I think it’s more about attitude than about physical appearance, though the latter does help. LOL!

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