BEHOLD!
Candy’s new whoremobile!
Another shot of my new machine:
I am especially glad to get rid of my New Beetle because last Thursday night, the engine splashguard/rock plate (an unwieldy plastic piece that bolted underneath the car) decided to spontaneously come loose, dragged along the ground while I was going 55 mph on I-84 and SCARED THE EVERLOVING CRAP OUT OF ME.
It’s a BAD thing when a new-ish car with less than 100,000 miles starts shedding pieces of itself for no discernible reason, something Volkswagen has yet to figure out, I think. So I’m defecting to the Japanese.
Anyway, enough babbling! The contest is simple enough: Come up with the bitchinest name you can think of for my new Scion xA. The Beetle was variously called Kermit, Miss Kitty and Ghetto Whoremobile (after the windshield got cracked and various bits of the interior started falling off). You have until Saturday to impress the hell out of me. I’ll pick the winner on Sunday, and she—or he, but how many men read this blog, really?—will receive one of our hand-stitched, lovingly crafted Smart Bitch titles.
Go ahead, be creative. Profanity encouraged.