New Romances, Same Authors

I decided, because I am a sucker for buying more books when the last thing I need is to distract myself from all the things I have to accomplish this summer, to check out the New Releases in Romance on Amazon.com. Usually I use the Books(not)Free service for my train reading material, but as I become more and more obviously pregnant, and as it gets more and more humid and unpleasant outside, I find myself seeking cold, air-conditioned, dark spaces in which to lie down in silence and read. I’m going to read faster than the BnF can ship me books, so perhaps a few emergency purchases are in order.

Perhaps there’s a good recommendation in the top new books in romance this summer.

1: Black Rose, by Nora Roberts.

I already ruminated on this trilogy, and how ParaNoramals don’t really do it for me. I already know that a friend I’m going to visit this summer has a copy, so if I’m seriously jonesing for something to read I can borrow hers.

2. Killing Time: A Novel by Linda Howard.

Linda Howard makes me howl. Ever since the heroine was in horrible, horrible psychic and physical pain and STILL the hero got a woodrow, I have had no patience for her. Plus, this novel returns to her “entrancing supernatural territory of her popular novels Dream Man” and that alone makes me run away, run away!

3. Lie By Moonlight, by Amanda Quick.

Quick, someone get me a chaise and some smelling salts because nothing heads quickly for the Cliffs of Overwrought like a Quick novel. And check out the Amazon blurb: “Who but Quick finds such joy in chestnuts as the boy thief mentored by the rich man he tries to rob…? Quick plunges into every cliché….” No, thank you. I get enough clichés listening to my Mother in Law.

4. The Wonder Spot, by Melissa Bank.

Ho there, What a different sort of cover. What is this? I know all about my wonder spot; RWA won’t let me talk about it, since it’s located in the cuntal area, but I do know where it is. Judging by cover alone, this could be interesting.

Drat drat drat it is not. I don’t even think it’s romance. It’s a coming-of-age story. Yo, Amazon, unless the heroine meets the hero at a young age, starting a romance when the heroine is 12 is not a romance. Even the blurb from Publishers Weekly says it is a story about a girl “struggling to achieve a grownup self-awareness.” That ain’t no romance.

5. Jamie, by Lori Foster.

You say “Jamie” and millions of romance fans think “Outlander,” so maybe “Jamie” is the “Madison/Emily/Emma” of hero names for the next few years.

Ouch: Publishers Weekly says, “The fifth installment in Foster’s Visitation series (after Just a Hint—Clint) strives to be a Jennifer Crusie—style lighthearted romance with a paranormal kick, but while the setting and secondary characters possess charm, the bumpy plotting keeps readers from fully suspending their disbelief.” Not only does this book feature psychics, it features psychic kids, and there’s nothing more precocious and far-too-advanced-for-their-age than a psychic kid in a romance. No thanks. Pass.

6. Oceans of Fire, by Christine Feehan.

Pass.

And if you put Christine Feehan in an anagram generator, you get “A Inference Shhit.” Nothing inferred about it.

7. A Good Yarn, by Debbie Macomber.

A sequel to The Shop on Blossom Street about a yarn shop and women. From PW: “A heartfelt tale of crafts and comraderie.” I love the crafts angle-  very fad-oriented. Next up, The Low-Carb Shop Around the Corner.

But not strictly a romance, so no thanks.

8.Sins of the Night (A Dark Hunter Novel) by Sherrilyn Kenyon.

Not a chance.

9. Something Blue, by Emily Giffin.

This smells like Chick Lit through the monitor LCD. Hm. Beautiful, perfect girl has life turned upside-down when plain-looking best friend steals her fiance and leaves her alone – and pregnant. Ouch. Aside from a twinge of “go, plain best friend, go,”  I am not going to read this book because it sounds like the baby is what’s going to fulfill her empty life, and that’s a lot of expectation and pressure to put on a newborn. I hate when authors do that. If something is missing from the heroine’s life, another person, particularly a small, dependent one, is not going to fill it with flowery happiness. If you’re not complete, it’s up to you to fix yourself. It’s not a job for a baby to make your sad life all better.

See? Now I don’t have to read this book.

10. One Night of Sin, by Gaelen Foley

I really liked “Pirate Prince,” but I couldn’t get through “Princess,” not after that weird nursing-yet-still-a-virgin scene, so I’m hesitant to pull out my credit card and actually pay for a Foley.

So that’s the top 10. How disappointing. We have Feehan, Quick, and Foley. If they were a law firm, they’d represent clients by flinging purple prose at the jury and having humpy sex on the judge’s bench.

So, readers of the SBTB: what do you recommend that’s coming out this summer?

Categorized:

Random Musings

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  1. 1
    jenreads says:

    Re: Something Blue…try the prequel “Something Borrowed” – it was the first book I read this year and I loved it. The heroine is nice but she’s sleeping with her best-friend’s fiance so how nice is she really? Of course in typical romance fashion, the friend is a bitch but you can’t have everything. And it got me out of reading slump so it has a special place in my heart.

  2. 2
    Sarah says:

    Ah! That must be the plain-Jane best friend who thiefs the fiance prior to “Something Blue.”

  3. 3
    Nicole says:

    Erm, I just finished Carpe Demon: Adventures of a Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom by Julie Kenner (she wrote the Givenchy Code).  It was lots of fun.  I wouldn’t call it strictly a romance since the main character is married with kids, but it was definitely lots of fun and good to see a fairly normal family for once.  But then you don’t like paranormal and there are demons walking around in this one.  It’s not like she created a whole world out of it though, just sorta adds them in nicely.

    I’m looking forward to the next MJD book, but it’s hardback, so it’s going to be a library book.  I’m already on the hold list.  Also have the new Lindsey book on hold.

    I keep thinking that there are July books I’m looking forward to, but for the life of me, I can’t remember.  The SK one, but I’m a DH fan (not a rabid one, though). 
    Hmmm…

  4. 4
    Wendy says:

    Melissa Banks listed in the romance section?!?! Are they high?

    Seriously – they’d have to be high.  Listing Danielle Steel under romance makes more sense – and we all know how accurate that is.

  5. 5
    Sarah says:

    Nicole, I don’t mind paranormals. I don’t have a yen for ParaNoramals, which are the Nora Roberts paranormals.

    I am going to have to look that book up- sounds wacky in a Christopher Moore kind of way.

  6. 6
    HelenKay says:

    It is one thing to be anti-Howard, but anti-Krentz/Quick?  That’s blasphemous (or however you spell that word) or un-American or something…

    Want to be really annoyed – go over to B&N and look up the Top 10 romances of the day.  This morning, 7 of the 10 were Nora Roberts’ books and 2 others were Nicholas Sparks.  Maybe the day got better but the morning certainly didn’t start out so hot.

  7. 7
    Arethusa says:

    I’ve actually read “Jame” by Lori Foster and thoroughly enjoyed it, and could not help but be puzzled by that Publisher’s Weekly review. I’ve read a few Jennifer Cruise books and she’s kinda wacky, ridiculous and fun, you know? That’s not Foster and it’s certainly not “Jamie”.

    The kid is pretty precocious (sp? I’m high on chocolate) but she only has a couple of scenes. The plot got real silly at the end, but I forgave it because I enjoyed the characters so much. Plus, and this is just from my experience, I’ve read very very very few romance authors who write GOOD mystery/suspense/murder/blah blah story lines, whether it’s the main or sub-plot. So I’m used to it.

    That being said, if you don’t like psychics, it’s a pass.

  8. 8
    Becca says:

    It is one thing to be anti-Howard, but anti-Krentz/Quick?  That’s blasphemous (or however you spell that word) or un-American or something…

    Krentz is one thing; Quick is another. I don’t care if they’re the same person. The Quick books are almost parodies of the genre. Or maybe they are written tongue-in-cheek and JAK just hasn’t told us?

    (actually, I liked the earlier JAK books better than the recent ones. Even the Eclipse Bay books fell down a bit for me.)

  9. 9
    Caro says:

    I’ve never found the Amazon New Releases particularly helpful because the only thing they seem to list is what’s at the top of the sales list.  Far more useful is the recommendations that are based on my ratings and past purchases, because if there’s an author I click “not interested” for, they don’t show back up in the list.

    It takes a little work, but it’s a much better way to get recommendations that are closer to what I actually read.

  10. 10
    Stef says:

    I haven’t read a “Quick” book, but from what I’m told by many who have, they are intended to be a bit tongue-in-cheek.

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